Dec 21, 2010 20:29
She makes up reasons to live. She fills jars with beautiful things and glitter and calls them magic. When people ask her why all she says is "well, i have to believe in something"
Ever since she was a young girl shes wanted to disappear, Like smoke from a cigarette or like cold breathe. Its all shes ever wanted to do. To burn away or melt into the ground. To evaporate into the air and travel through people's lungs and be the thing that keeps people living even when they don't want to. She tells him she doesn't feel that way anymore. But the truth is shes never stopped. not for one minute. not for one second. and she doesn't think she ever will.
When she finally starts believing in love she cries and cries and cries. Because the thing about love is even if you believe in it that doesn't mean you have to believe you deserve it or that you have ever received it. And just like if believing in god means you have to believe in the devil believing in love means you have to believe in hate. And for her it was easier to believe she was on the receiving end of the latter
writing