Bad sex in fiction award 2006

[sugarcrappies]

He whisked off her shoes and panties in one swift movement, wild like an enraged shark, his bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Linda's body felt like it was on fire, even though the room was properly air conditioned. They tried all the positions. On top, doggy and normal. Exhausted, they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa-bed. Then a hell-beast ate them.