dissapointed.
I loved you because everyone thought you were so ugly on the outside but you were so good on the inside. So many people love you now because you are so beautiful on the outside. Your waist narrowed, shoulders broadened, lips curving into a convincing smile. The haircut [and new glasses] didn't hurt either.
You used to be so much different. You used to be kind and sympathetic and selfless and beautiful and wonderful. When somebody asked me what was special about you, why I loved you so much or couldn't love them instead, I had an answer.
You weren't like everybody else. You weren't like ANYBODY else. You weren't perfect, but you were the closest thing on this side of heaven.
Now you're just like them, just like the other stupid teenaged boys, and this has caused me to cry myself to sleep many, many times. I suppose everone's entitled to an immature, carefree youth, but you didn't use to want to be like everone else. I can handle the fact that I will always love you, I can handle the fact that you will never love me back again...
But I can't handle this. I'm watching you kill the person you used to be and you don't even know it and you can't hear me screaming at you to stop. Everything I say to you, you take the wrong way--I'm not trying to insult you, I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to hold on to the person you used to be, but no matter how hard I try, you won't let me, you don't hear me. Maybe you do know it and just don't care. But I can't bear to consider that too seriously, because that would make me cry even harder.
I miss you. I tell you that sometimes, and you probably think it's because we don't talk as much or haven't hung out in a while or because I miss you thinking of me as more than a friend, but that's not it at all. I miss the REAL you, the one I fell in love with, the person with their own values that knew how to love and give, that was so trustworthy and good-hearted.
Why are you doing this to me? More importantly... why are you doing this to yourself?
You used to be so much different. You used to be kind and sympathetic and selfless and beautiful and wonderful. When somebody asked me what was special about you, why I loved you so much or couldn't love them instead, I had an answer.
You weren't like everybody else. You weren't like ANYBODY else. You weren't perfect, but you were the closest thing on this side of heaven.
Now you're just like them, just like the other stupid teenaged boys, and this has caused me to cry myself to sleep many, many times. I suppose everone's entitled to an immature, carefree youth, but you didn't use to want to be like everone else. I can handle the fact that I will always love you, I can handle the fact that you will never love me back again...
But I can't handle this. I'm watching you kill the person you used to be and you don't even know it and you can't hear me screaming at you to stop. Everything I say to you, you take the wrong way--I'm not trying to insult you, I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to hold on to the person you used to be, but no matter how hard I try, you won't let me, you don't hear me. Maybe you do know it and just don't care. But I can't bear to consider that too seriously, because that would make me cry even harder.
I miss you. I tell you that sometimes, and you probably think it's because we don't talk as much or haven't hung out in a while or because I miss you thinking of me as more than a friend, but that's not it at all. I miss the REAL you, the one I fell in love with, the person with their own values that knew how to love and give, that was so trustworthy and good-hearted.
Why are you doing this to me? More importantly... why are you doing this to yourself?