Chapter Three : The Best Day of Joanne's Life
[What do you get when you mix teenage hormones, a KTM station, Topshop and a dodgily named restaurant? A sprinkling of silverware, that's what. Read On.]
They had agreed to meet at 9:30am.
It was already 10:30am, and Joanne was still not around. If there was one thing that Seamus, Choong Leeng and Benedict hated in a person, it was tardiness. The three of them were really anal retentive about that. Seamus was so bored at the KTM station that he was beginning to hump the concrete seats slightly. The longer Joanne took, the more antsy Seamus got. Soon he was in a wild frenzy, stroking the chair with his hips madly. When he looked up, there was a huge crowd of interested perverts surrounding him, watching him act out his sexual fantasies.
"What? I had an itch there, ok."
Meanwhile, Joanne was not sleeping blissfully at home, unlike what the trio suspected. In fact, she had gotten up EXTRA early that day, just to get ready for her big day out with Seamus. She had a long, luxurious shower... she had bought a new outfit just to show them, and she was just about to do her hair and make-up when she realised... the eternal nightmare of every teenage girl about to go on a date ...
FIVE PIMPLES HAD SPROUTED OVER HER FACE OVERNIGHT!!!!
She was almost hysterical. After crying for a good ten minutes, she peeked into the mirror, hoping that the tears had cleared her eyes, and maybe the reflection earlier was a mere mirage. To her horror, it was still there. And they looked as pink, rotund and disgusting as ever. Joanne had always had a bad time with her skin, so the extra 5 pimples, on a background of pitted holes and scars was like the final garnishing on a really unappetising dessert.
Taking a sterilised needle, she held it carefully in her hand while she attempted to stab the pimple to oblivion. Just as she was about to prod out the disgusting contents, her phone rang, causing her to nearly put the needle through her eye. She swore, put the needle down and checked the phone. Seamus. She *did* contemplate returning his call, but just as she was about to, she remembered what her mother once told her. Play hard-to-get. Guys love the thrill of the chase. Smirking, she let the phone continue ringing. When it stopped, she picked up her needle, aimed it at the offending object and was just about to give it a go when ... the phone rang again. This time, it was from Benedict. This continued for the next one and a half hours, with calls coming in from Benedict, Seamus and Choong Leeng. Finally, Joanne gave up, decided to just cake on some foundation with the kitchen spatula and leave for the KTM station. After all, her foundation-applying skills were second to none (ok, maybe IT the clown did it better).
"Mommyyyyyy... that girl is scary... she's dressed like a clown!"
"Look! Geisha!"
"Is that the Phantom of the Opera's better half?"
Joanne did not understand the remarks that people were making that day. Everytime she turned around to check out who people were bitching about, and she never saw anyone who fit the descriptions being hurled about. She knew they weren't talking about her. After all, her super-sexy, low cut, Oriental-style Topshop blouse and tight-fitting jeans were just-off-the-catalogue hot. She knew she would have to impress Seamus and Benedict today.
"Argghh... there she is. What the hell did she do to her face?" Seamus whispered to Ben.
"I don't know. Hee hee. Hee hee. It's so obvious that she likes you. Good luck today, suckah!"
"You're helping me right? I mean... you can't leave me to the dogs like this..."
"How can I help you? I don't even know Joanne very well."
"Choong Leeng's fault. Totally Choong Leeng's fault. Can't she choose more friends like us? Grr."
Despite the beginning hiccup, they managed to get to KLCC as planned. They were famished by the time they had arrived, and they crawled to Rain Nudle House. They knew that the prices would be astronomical, but somehow money never seems to be a problem when compared to impending gastritis. Once they arrived, Seamus sat in a corner, and dragged Benedict to the seat next to his. In a tackling performance that would have made the New Zealand All Blacks proud, Joanne managed to fling Benedict over to another seat, and settled herself firmly next to Seamus. As she sat purring next to him, Seamus tried his best to be nonchalant, and chatted with Choong Leeng and Benedict more. Choong Leeng noticed that Joanne looked a bit left out, so she tried to get her involved in the conversation. In fact, Joanne looked so left out that her eyes seemed to be glazed over and she was drooling from the corner of her mouth.
What Choong Leeng didn't know was that Joanne wasn't bored to tears, but in reality, she was enthralled by the sight of Seamus's splayed legs. Seamus always sat like that, but Joanne was convinced that the overtly lewd display was due to an enormous package that would make sitting with his legs shut extremely uncomfortable. She HAD to get a closer look... but how?
Spying the silverware on the table, she pulled her napkin down with a swift move, causing the fork to jerk off the table and land squarely between Seamus's legs. "Oh don't trouble yourself, I'll get that myself!" said Joanne.
"What?" said Seamus, who wasn't even aware that Joanne had sprung cutlery between his legs.
Underneath the table, Joanne could see right between Seamus's legs. She was starting to get all hot and bothered. And she kept going "Wow. Wow." Seamus, who was wearing khakis that day, started to feel a draft between his legs. Time to close shop. He snapped his legs shut, causing the fork to get trapped between his shoes. Joanne instantly began tugging away at the fork (plus, it gave her a chance to "brush" against his legs. Seamus realised the commotion down below, and when he looked down and saw Joanne, he sprang backwards, causing Joanne to fall backwards, and right in between Benedict's knees.
And from that seated position, sitting down, and looking up... it was love at first sight. Benedict had never looked so beautiful before.
* * * * *
"Hahhaa... thanks for getting rid of that Pancake Face for me."
Seamus, Choong Leeng and Benedict were resting by the poolside of their condominium, after a stressful day.
"Hey, the best part of the entire day was watching Mami Jarum II. That's the only time when she shut up. The rest of the day was 'Ben, walk next to me!', 'Ben, do you think I'm pretty' and 'Ben, I like your butt'. What the fuckkkkkk!" Ben was screaming on top of his lungs by now. "You know, I always said I wanted to find a chick once I arrive at Moonway College, but I guess I'll settle for a hot chicken in Setapak Curry House instead."
"Now you agree with me on Setapak Curry House. The waiters there are great. They always give me extra food, and they give me amazing discounts. The only thing wrong with the place is that the waiters like to hover over me when I'm eating. Anyway, I forgot to thank Choong Leeng. She totally redeemed herself in my eyes by pretending to get her period so that we would be able to get rid of Joanne."
The three of them had a group hug, but somehow Benedict was still unsatisfied over how the entire day turned out. He had had a nice time laughing at Seamus trying to get rid of Joanne the Barnacle, but she ended up leeching onto him. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.
What happens when the trio attend their first class in Moonway College? What is this AIRCO magazine that everyone keeps talking about? Whoever will they meet next? Find out, in the next episode!
They had agreed to meet at 9:30am.
It was already 10:30am, and Joanne was still not around. If there was one thing that Seamus, Choong Leeng and Benedict hated in a person, it was tardiness. The three of them were really anal retentive about that. Seamus was so bored at the KTM station that he was beginning to hump the concrete seats slightly. The longer Joanne took, the more antsy Seamus got. Soon he was in a wild frenzy, stroking the chair with his hips madly. When he looked up, there was a huge crowd of interested perverts surrounding him, watching him act out his sexual fantasies.
"What? I had an itch there, ok."
Meanwhile, Joanne was not sleeping blissfully at home, unlike what the trio suspected. In fact, she had gotten up EXTRA early that day, just to get ready for her big day out with Seamus. She had a long, luxurious shower... she had bought a new outfit just to show them, and she was just about to do her hair and make-up when she realised... the eternal nightmare of every teenage girl about to go on a date ...
FIVE PIMPLES HAD SPROUTED OVER HER FACE OVERNIGHT!!!!
She was almost hysterical. After crying for a good ten minutes, she peeked into the mirror, hoping that the tears had cleared her eyes, and maybe the reflection earlier was a mere mirage. To her horror, it was still there. And they looked as pink, rotund and disgusting as ever. Joanne had always had a bad time with her skin, so the extra 5 pimples, on a background of pitted holes and scars was like the final garnishing on a really unappetising dessert.
Taking a sterilised needle, she held it carefully in her hand while she attempted to stab the pimple to oblivion. Just as she was about to prod out the disgusting contents, her phone rang, causing her to nearly put the needle through her eye. She swore, put the needle down and checked the phone. Seamus. She *did* contemplate returning his call, but just as she was about to, she remembered what her mother once told her. Play hard-to-get. Guys love the thrill of the chase. Smirking, she let the phone continue ringing. When it stopped, she picked up her needle, aimed it at the offending object and was just about to give it a go when ... the phone rang again. This time, it was from Benedict. This continued for the next one and a half hours, with calls coming in from Benedict, Seamus and Choong Leeng. Finally, Joanne gave up, decided to just cake on some foundation with the kitchen spatula and leave for the KTM station. After all, her foundation-applying skills were second to none (ok, maybe IT the clown did it better).
"Mommyyyyyy... that girl is scary... she's dressed like a clown!"
"Look! Geisha!"
"Is that the Phantom of the Opera's better half?"
Joanne did not understand the remarks that people were making that day. Everytime she turned around to check out who people were bitching about, and she never saw anyone who fit the descriptions being hurled about. She knew they weren't talking about her. After all, her super-sexy, low cut, Oriental-style Topshop blouse and tight-fitting jeans were just-off-the-catalogue hot. She knew she would have to impress Seamus and Benedict today.
"Argghh... there she is. What the hell did she do to her face?" Seamus whispered to Ben.
"I don't know. Hee hee. Hee hee. It's so obvious that she likes you. Good luck today, suckah!"
"You're helping me right? I mean... you can't leave me to the dogs like this..."
"How can I help you? I don't even know Joanne very well."
"Choong Leeng's fault. Totally Choong Leeng's fault. Can't she choose more friends like us? Grr."
Despite the beginning hiccup, they managed to get to KLCC as planned. They were famished by the time they had arrived, and they crawled to Rain Nudle House. They knew that the prices would be astronomical, but somehow money never seems to be a problem when compared to impending gastritis. Once they arrived, Seamus sat in a corner, and dragged Benedict to the seat next to his. In a tackling performance that would have made the New Zealand All Blacks proud, Joanne managed to fling Benedict over to another seat, and settled herself firmly next to Seamus. As she sat purring next to him, Seamus tried his best to be nonchalant, and chatted with Choong Leeng and Benedict more. Choong Leeng noticed that Joanne looked a bit left out, so she tried to get her involved in the conversation. In fact, Joanne looked so left out that her eyes seemed to be glazed over and she was drooling from the corner of her mouth.
What Choong Leeng didn't know was that Joanne wasn't bored to tears, but in reality, she was enthralled by the sight of Seamus's splayed legs. Seamus always sat like that, but Joanne was convinced that the overtly lewd display was due to an enormous package that would make sitting with his legs shut extremely uncomfortable. She HAD to get a closer look... but how?
Spying the silverware on the table, she pulled her napkin down with a swift move, causing the fork to jerk off the table and land squarely between Seamus's legs. "Oh don't trouble yourself, I'll get that myself!" said Joanne.
"What?" said Seamus, who wasn't even aware that Joanne had sprung cutlery between his legs.
Underneath the table, Joanne could see right between Seamus's legs. She was starting to get all hot and bothered. And she kept going "Wow. Wow." Seamus, who was wearing khakis that day, started to feel a draft between his legs. Time to close shop. He snapped his legs shut, causing the fork to get trapped between his shoes. Joanne instantly began tugging away at the fork (plus, it gave her a chance to "brush" against his legs. Seamus realised the commotion down below, and when he looked down and saw Joanne, he sprang backwards, causing Joanne to fall backwards, and right in between Benedict's knees.
And from that seated position, sitting down, and looking up... it was love at first sight. Benedict had never looked so beautiful before.
* * * * *
"Hahhaa... thanks for getting rid of that Pancake Face for me."
Seamus, Choong Leeng and Benedict were resting by the poolside of their condominium, after a stressful day.
"Hey, the best part of the entire day was watching Mami Jarum II. That's the only time when she shut up. The rest of the day was 'Ben, walk next to me!', 'Ben, do you think I'm pretty' and 'Ben, I like your butt'. What the fuckkkkkk!" Ben was screaming on top of his lungs by now. "You know, I always said I wanted to find a chick once I arrive at Moonway College, but I guess I'll settle for a hot chicken in Setapak Curry House instead."
"Now you agree with me on Setapak Curry House. The waiters there are great. They always give me extra food, and they give me amazing discounts. The only thing wrong with the place is that the waiters like to hover over me when I'm eating. Anyway, I forgot to thank Choong Leeng. She totally redeemed herself in my eyes by pretending to get her period so that we would be able to get rid of Joanne."
The three of them had a group hug, but somehow Benedict was still unsatisfied over how the entire day turned out. He had had a nice time laughing at Seamus trying to get rid of Joanne the Barnacle, but she ended up leeching onto him. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.
What happens when the trio attend their first class in Moonway College? What is this AIRCO magazine that everyone keeps talking about? Whoever will they meet next? Find out, in the next episode!