(no subject)
Went out to Biltmore tonight... just me Kelly and Holly. It was fun even though I didn't drink alot. It was just nice to go out and get my mind off things, even if just for a while. One drink and lots of laughs for me. :-)
Before we went out, John and I had a good discussion, but I'm afraid that he's so down on himself. The dead-end job search is stressing him out. So seriously, DOES ANYONE HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH A COMPANY HIRING AN ENTRY-LEVEL GRAPHIC DESIGNER?? He's willing to relocate!
When I got home, I called him and we had a wonderful discussion. He told me that he loves me and misses me and I told him I can't wait to come home to see him and he said, "I know baby... I can't wait to see you either". That's such a relief to hear that from him. I keep telling him that he is amazing and a wonderful artist and that there's so much more to him than just what he sees and I think he's finally understanding.
I put a quote in my profile that I think sums us all up right now... You once told me that in order to be loved I must first love myself. You should follow your own advice. That's what this is all about.... he isn't loving himself or the outcome of his hardwork and talent. Like he said, after 2+ years of looking for a job, it gets a little humiliating that he still can't find a job in the field he wants.
But... I'm feeling alot better about us. Yeah, I miss him more than anything and I am so in love with him (took him saying that he needed time away for me to remember that), but I understand now. I know that WE aren't in trouble here.....just him... and just me. But not together. I don't know if we're going to keep our current arrangment forever or if we'll go back to how it was (we used to talk 5+ times a day and then online if we met up... now, we talk online if we're both on and then once at night to say good night). I miss talking to him throughout the day, but I'm finding that our conversations have a little more meaning, but they're also more rushed because we're trying to get everything in.
The thing I miss the most..............I miss just laughing with him. He has the greatest laugh and he is the one that can make me laugh easier than anyone.
Okay, I should sleep....... better dreams lately than I've been having.
Before we went out, John and I had a good discussion, but I'm afraid that he's so down on himself. The dead-end job search is stressing him out. So seriously, DOES ANYONE HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH A COMPANY HIRING AN ENTRY-LEVEL GRAPHIC DESIGNER?? He's willing to relocate!
When I got home, I called him and we had a wonderful discussion. He told me that he loves me and misses me and I told him I can't wait to come home to see him and he said, "I know baby... I can't wait to see you either". That's such a relief to hear that from him. I keep telling him that he is amazing and a wonderful artist and that there's so much more to him than just what he sees and I think he's finally understanding.
I put a quote in my profile that I think sums us all up right now... You once told me that in order to be loved I must first love myself. You should follow your own advice. That's what this is all about.... he isn't loving himself or the outcome of his hardwork and talent. Like he said, after 2+ years of looking for a job, it gets a little humiliating that he still can't find a job in the field he wants.
But... I'm feeling alot better about us. Yeah, I miss him more than anything and I am so in love with him (took him saying that he needed time away for me to remember that), but I understand now. I know that WE aren't in trouble here.....just him... and just me. But not together. I don't know if we're going to keep our current arrangment forever or if we'll go back to how it was (we used to talk 5+ times a day and then online if we met up... now, we talk online if we're both on and then once at night to say good night). I miss talking to him throughout the day, but I'm finding that our conversations have a little more meaning, but they're also more rushed because we're trying to get everything in.
The thing I miss the most..............I miss just laughing with him. He has the greatest laugh and he is the one that can make me laugh easier than anyone.
Okay, I should sleep....... better dreams lately than I've been having.