time goes on
I went to a funeral this week. It was so weird how like, at a viewing... they stick pictures of the dead person up, and like... in a buffet line style you go through this line and look at the person living and happy and at the end of the pictures you see them dead. laying still and lifeless in a box... it's rather disrespectful... and cynical.. this process of remembering and paying respects is... i don't like it. Then the funeral... some guy talked and sang praises to jesus and to my dead loved one. and it was just... it felt hollow in a way. so i just stared trying not to let on that i was trying to control what tears might be on the way. and then they carried my friend's body in the box, out the door to the back of a car where we all follow and get to run red lights. to her place of "eternal rest"... I would find it completely impossible to rest for eternity in a box put in a hole in the wall with a plaque over it. it's like a meat cooler or something. it's sick and demented and i hate the thought of it. i guess it's better to have a ceremony, than to just dump the body in a furnace and burn it... which is like.. waste disposal. but it's so mundane and routine what they've put together now. everybody that knew the dead person and the people that know the family of the dead person go to one of two days of viewing the dead body, the third day is the funeral where you stare at it and pray to something that obviously didn't help saving said dead person, and isn't really comforting you, then to take the body to it's "resting place"... which is NOT a comfortable thing... even in cremation... would you want to be burned to ash before you went to lay down or something? seriously... it's psychotic. and then once that's all done and everyone's cried... they go mooch of the grieving family by eating all their food... and getting drunk and just chilling out like it all didn't happen. you just pick up and go on after all this... like the dead person didn't matter and now they're gone and the inconvenience of getting rid of the body is over, you can move on. that person is still dead, they're still gone and they're never coming back.
and when friends are like OH they're watching over me now... they have a FAMILY to watch over. i'm sure you're the last person on their agenda of people to watch over. they have kids and grandkids and soon to be great grand kids to worry about.
anyway... it was a nice service. maybe i'm the cynical one.
it was a family friend who died. my grandma's cleaning lady. she was a great person and we loved her very much.
otherwise things are GREAT. knock on wood. brian and i are getting an apartment soon. i'm very happy. i love him more than he knows, i'm sure. things are beautiful at the moment.
enjoy it while it lasts, cause nothing gold can stay...
and when friends are like OH they're watching over me now... they have a FAMILY to watch over. i'm sure you're the last person on their agenda of people to watch over. they have kids and grandkids and soon to be great grand kids to worry about.
anyway... it was a nice service. maybe i'm the cynical one.
it was a family friend who died. my grandma's cleaning lady. she was a great person and we loved her very much.
otherwise things are GREAT. knock on wood. brian and i are getting an apartment soon. i'm very happy. i love him more than he knows, i'm sure. things are beautiful at the moment.
enjoy it while it lasts, cause nothing gold can stay...