Apr 02, 2009 14:37
I was walking my dog thru a park in downtown Oakland and this fella in a big silver pick up truck pulls up and jumps out and asks me where the nearest hospital is. I tell him Highland and give him general directions and ask if he's ok, or does he need an ambulance? I also mention that if he's got insurance Alta Bates is a better bet although farther away. He says he doesn't think he needs an ambulance, he thinks he can get himself there and then proceeds to tell me what's wrong.
He said that he was playing basketball with some buddies earlier and got hit in the scrotum really hard and now had intense pain and swelling. He looked like he was genuinely in pain and kept repeating how embarassed he was. I told him maybe he had a hernia or something. He kept asking me what he should do. I told him that personally, I would go home and put some ice on it. He said he lived in SF. I told him he'd be better off getting home and then if he did need to go to the hospital he could go to one in SF closer to his home, so long as the pain wasn't so bad he could still drive. He told me his scrotum was swelled to about twice the size as normal and asked me if it was noticable (while repeating how embarassed he was). I told him it wasn't noticable and I would have never known had he not told me his perdickiment. He thanked me for the advice and then went on his way.
Now, what the fuck? Was this a total April Fools Day joke or what? He never let on that it was a joke and, like I said, the guy looked like he was in a fair amount of pain. I thought it seemed fishy when he asked me if it was noticable, as if it was all an elaborate rouse to get me to look in the general direction of his junk. But, it's not like he flashed me or did anything pervy. If it wasn't a joke it was sure the weirdest encounter I've had on the street in quite some time. And if it was a joke then he's a damn good actor, but has a lame sense of humor because there was no punchline.
Weirdness. Although, I suppose it's better than what happend today to me today on the street while walking my dogs. I accidently saw a bum pooping. gross.
Never a dull moment in Oakland!