Someone Bring Me Some Good News
I never felt this alone and alienated in my life. It's a terrible feeling. There's no one to talk to. No one that cares anymore...and I don't blame them. I know I need to help myself, but I don't even want to leave my bedroom anymore. At the same time I'm tired of hearing people that are supposed to be my family scream and say such horrible things to each other. I want to leave but I have nowhere to go. Sometimes I wish I could just pack my car up and hit the road...
I quit my job. I don't even know why. Laziness, boredom, needed a change, perhaps. I was late, called out too much, anyway. I was afraid of getting fired.
Fucked up yet another friendship.
I'm filled with so much regret and remorse. I could've been such a better person cause the potential is there, but its just so hard to come out. I don't know why.
It's been a month now and I still miss you to death. I try to talk to other people but the connection I felt with you isn't there. The initial comfort I felt with you isn't there. I can't imagine someone else laying in bed with me watching movies and/or teasing me. I hate myself for taking you for granted. I really fucked up this time and all possibility of us ever being friends again is out the window. And sometimes I stare at my window hoping you'll just show up and we'd talk and everything would be ok. It's a little dream I cling to but I have to let go. I have no other choice.
I'm finding it hard to find anything to live for. My family can't get close to me, my former friends left me cause they couldn't take me anymore. It really makes me think, and I'm not saying this out of self pity, maybe I'm just the type of person who doesn't deserve love.
Who knows though. I always change my mind. I'll be on top of the world tomorrow for all I know.
Alisha
I quit my job. I don't even know why. Laziness, boredom, needed a change, perhaps. I was late, called out too much, anyway. I was afraid of getting fired.
Fucked up yet another friendship.
I'm filled with so much regret and remorse. I could've been such a better person cause the potential is there, but its just so hard to come out. I don't know why.
It's been a month now and I still miss you to death. I try to talk to other people but the connection I felt with you isn't there. The initial comfort I felt with you isn't there. I can't imagine someone else laying in bed with me watching movies and/or teasing me. I hate myself for taking you for granted. I really fucked up this time and all possibility of us ever being friends again is out the window. And sometimes I stare at my window hoping you'll just show up and we'd talk and everything would be ok. It's a little dream I cling to but I have to let go. I have no other choice.
I'm finding it hard to find anything to live for. My family can't get close to me, my former friends left me cause they couldn't take me anymore. It really makes me think, and I'm not saying this out of self pity, maybe I'm just the type of person who doesn't deserve love.
Who knows though. I always change my mind. I'll be on top of the world tomorrow for all I know.
Alisha