Ryoda: Going Crazy
Title: Going Crazy
Pairing: RYODA (main)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any Johnny Entertainment artists..
Author's Note: I’m so sorry. This is my last Ryoda fic before my hiatus. This fic was inspired by Song Ji Eun's Going Crazy. You can watch the mv here: (click)
Driving slowly along the country road, I stared half-consciously at the endless concrete path with undeterred eyes. I gave a long sigh as my mind replayed how I lost my heart. I never thought someone could hurt me without even trying. All the mind games and hot sex were all for nothing. I thought I was in love but love took me down with cycles of disappointments and frustrations.
I thought we were a perfect pair. I thought you were special. But who know loving you changed who I was up to the point that I could not recognise myself anymore. I peered over at the rear view mirror and sadly, I saw a stranger staring back.
I kept on driving. Where? I did not know. I just want to get away and let the road take me. After probably hours of driving, I finally looked out of the window and took noticed of the surroundings. There were no trees or any signs of civilization. I was in the middle of nowhere but I didn’t care. I swallowed my grief and continued my journey as a soulless drifter.
The sun was about to set and I slowed down to take a break. I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. As I stepped out, I felt the hot sand through the soles of my black boots. I languidly leaned my back against my car and buried my hand in my pocket and took out his Zippo lighter which I bought for him as his birthday present.
I flipped the casing open and run my thumb against the thumbwheel, igniting a small flame. I was mesmerised by it. I started to wonder how vulnerable fire can be if a gust of wind can put it out in an instant. Just like how a small spark can bring two people together and something intangible can break them apart. I came to my senses and blew the flame out. It was already too late. Have I lost my mind? Yes.
I continued driving alone under the dark navy night sky that was littered with stars. By then the temperature has cooled down and I lowered my window. I closed my eyes and breathed in the icy air as it pierced my chest where my heart used to be. I took shallow breaths when I felt tears started to form in my dazed eyes but quickly scolded myself. It was all too late. I could never go back to how it used to be.
I slowly pulled over at the shoulder of the deserted road. I got out and walked towards the trunk of the car. I stared at it for a moment before unlocking it. I lifted the hood of the trunk and there he was, lying helplessly blindfolded and tied up.
Dearest Ryo, I never wanted this to happen. You left me with no choice. This was the only way you wanted me to disappear from your sight. Don’t you understand that no one can love you like I did? Me, Ueda Tatsuya. It pained and angered me to see you loving someone else besides me. I could not live with that.
“This is goodbye.” I whispered and kissed him softly on his lips.
I took the tank of gasoline, uncapped it and doused him soaked with the substance. I poured a trail of it as I walked away from the car. Anger, frustration, misery, sadness and resentment numbed my mind. It was all surreal to me.
I threw the tank and remaining oil on the ground, not caring anymore. I could hear him begging to be released but I shut my eyes and walked away. I took out his lighter and lit it.
Without a second of hesitation, I threw it over my shoulder and felt the heat of the flames running towards the car.
Walking down the dimly-lighted road, I finally felt liberated.
Pairing: RYODA (main)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any Johnny Entertainment artists..
Author's Note: I’m so sorry. This is my last Ryoda fic before my hiatus. This fic was inspired by Song Ji Eun's Going Crazy. You can watch the mv here: (click)
Driving slowly along the country road, I stared half-consciously at the endless concrete path with undeterred eyes. I gave a long sigh as my mind replayed how I lost my heart. I never thought someone could hurt me without even trying. All the mind games and hot sex were all for nothing. I thought I was in love but love took me down with cycles of disappointments and frustrations.
I thought we were a perfect pair. I thought you were special. But who know loving you changed who I was up to the point that I could not recognise myself anymore. I peered over at the rear view mirror and sadly, I saw a stranger staring back.
I kept on driving. Where? I did not know. I just want to get away and let the road take me. After probably hours of driving, I finally looked out of the window and took noticed of the surroundings. There were no trees or any signs of civilization. I was in the middle of nowhere but I didn’t care. I swallowed my grief and continued my journey as a soulless drifter.
The sun was about to set and I slowed down to take a break. I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. As I stepped out, I felt the hot sand through the soles of my black boots. I languidly leaned my back against my car and buried my hand in my pocket and took out his Zippo lighter which I bought for him as his birthday present.
I flipped the casing open and run my thumb against the thumbwheel, igniting a small flame. I was mesmerised by it. I started to wonder how vulnerable fire can be if a gust of wind can put it out in an instant. Just like how a small spark can bring two people together and something intangible can break them apart. I came to my senses and blew the flame out. It was already too late. Have I lost my mind? Yes.
I continued driving alone under the dark navy night sky that was littered with stars. By then the temperature has cooled down and I lowered my window. I closed my eyes and breathed in the icy air as it pierced my chest where my heart used to be. I took shallow breaths when I felt tears started to form in my dazed eyes but quickly scolded myself. It was all too late. I could never go back to how it used to be.
I slowly pulled over at the shoulder of the deserted road. I got out and walked towards the trunk of the car. I stared at it for a moment before unlocking it. I lifted the hood of the trunk and there he was, lying helplessly blindfolded and tied up.
Dearest Ryo, I never wanted this to happen. You left me with no choice. This was the only way you wanted me to disappear from your sight. Don’t you understand that no one can love you like I did? Me, Ueda Tatsuya. It pained and angered me to see you loving someone else besides me. I could not live with that.
“This is goodbye.” I whispered and kissed him softly on his lips.
I took the tank of gasoline, uncapped it and doused him soaked with the substance. I poured a trail of it as I walked away from the car. Anger, frustration, misery, sadness and resentment numbed my mind. It was all surreal to me.
I threw the tank and remaining oil on the ground, not caring anymore. I could hear him begging to be released but I shut my eyes and walked away. I took out his lighter and lit it.
Without a second of hesitation, I threw it over my shoulder and felt the heat of the flames running towards the car.
Walking down the dimly-lighted road, I finally felt liberated.