Sad news about a dear friend
This morning I received horrible news that someone who was very special to me has passed away. A mutual LJ friend kindly passed along a message that merchanta (Who was formally known as Zk8ssaaacyhz) had died recently.
Last Saturday night, Rachel Wilkes apparently walked out onto a frozen lake in Montreal and froze to death. It is unclear if this was an intentional act at this point. Rachel had depressed over a bad break up she had last year and had been battling with Multiple Sclerosis and other issues.
Words can not express the loss I feel from her passing. Rachel was one of those very special people that you rarely meet in life, much less be considered their friend.
I have known her since she was still living in Rochester, MN. That had to have been around 2002. She has stayed over at my house in Minneapolis quite a few times over the years, has helped out on projects around my house and even attended my bachelor party and one very infamous New Year's Eve party at my house.
We used to have frequent talks that often lasted all night. She told me about her family and her life growing up in Texas as well as her school and work and relationships. I felt like I knew just about everything about her. I would tell her about all my thoughts and problems and she was as great a listener as she was a conversationalist. She has helped me out in ways that I am sure she didn't imagine.
But then she moved to Ames, IA and I saw and talked to her much less, except for a few Sonic runs with Amagdalyn and a few times she came to stay with us in Minneapolis. In Ames, Rachel experienced a long list of heartache and troubles with relationships, health, money, work, school, and other things.
About two years ago, she moved to Montreal, Canada to follow the love of her life at the time and to be closer to her family that had recently relocated to that area. I had really hoped that, as she followed her bliss to Canada, that she would finally the love and happiness that she very much deserved. Unfortunately, that relationship ended very badly, to which I had not even heard all the details. I am very saddened that I had not seen her for about 3 years and barely heard from her once she moved there.
I last heard from her about 3 weeks ago, when she poked her head up on Facebook for a few hours with a post about her continuing sadness over her breakup. I had commented trying to lift her spirits and she had responded with some very kind words to me. I then responded back with a long e-mail, unlike any I have sent her in a long time.
The e-mail I sent her was in further efforts to try to lift her up. And I had told her some things that I had been meaning to tell her for a long time. At the time I wrote the letter, I somehow felt afraid I might never get the chance to say these things to her. How little I knew about how right I was. I had also told her that I wanted to get back to more regular communication with her like they way things used to be.
I never did get a response from her from my email. I never heard anything more from her except for a fleeting message on Facebook about a week later that I quickly saw on my iPhone. Later, I went back to completely read it and it was gone again. Just like her.....
Over the last few years, Rachel had a bad habit popping up in my life suddenly and then go back into hiding for long periods, often with hiding her journal and Facebook. I had this eerily weird connection with her. I thought about her often, if just in passing. But other times, where I really had missed hearing from her in a while and planned to contact her shortly but often failed to, without fail on her part, I would end up hearing from her within the next 24 hours. It was very spooky. Although her Facebook is still hidden, thankfully her journal remains open to her friends.
I am very thankful I took the time to write her and express my feelings to her again but I am saddened by the fact I could not have been more helpful, done more for her or that I will never get the chance to hear from her again. It is going to be very hard, if ever, to get closure of this tragic loss.
Rachel Wilkes made a very deep impact on my life, as she did with so many other people. I will forever has a little hole in my heart, longing her loss.
Rachel, I love you very much and will miss you greatly. I hope wherever you are, you found your bliss.
I am including a note from her family, that was passed along through her friends.
"Friends and family,
We received the terrible news last night that our daughter, Rachel, has died. She had been living here with us in Montreal trying to make a new life for herself after some very difficult years. She was learning French to prepare for her new life in Quebec. She had been accepted into a internet technologies program not far from our home and was looking forward to starting classes in February. However, the difficulties of her recent years were always with her and it would seem that they overtook her. On Saturday, she left our home to go downtown to attend a French language group to work on her French. She did not return Saturday evening as was expected. Kitty and I spent a very troubled Saturday evening trying to find out where she might be. We continued our efforts throughout Sunday. Late Sunday evening, we were visited by the police with the terrible news that her body had been found out on Lac St. Louis not far from our house. It was bitterly cold and she had frozen to death. We do not know if she ever went downtown to her study group. For some unknown reason, she walked out onto the lake for some distance. That is where she was found. We don't know if she was confused or if her actions were willful.
Kitty, Noah and I are devastated as you can imagine. You have all lost loved ones. The closer they are to you, the harder it is to accept. Your children are about as close as it comes. I remember seeing my 85 year old grandmother crying uncontrollably at the funeral of her son, my father. It is not the natural order for parents to bury their children, but it happens and now it has happened to us. The empty feeling of loss is numbing and sickening. The loss will never go away. Hopefully the pain will diminish with time.
I am writing this to you all because I want you to know what has happened and I know that you would all want to know. I am also writing this because I am lost and confused and feel like I should do something but I don't know what to do. Please keep us in your prayers.
Dan, Kitty and Noah
Last Saturday night, Rachel Wilkes apparently walked out onto a frozen lake in Montreal and froze to death. It is unclear if this was an intentional act at this point. Rachel had depressed over a bad break up she had last year and had been battling with Multiple Sclerosis and other issues.
Words can not express the loss I feel from her passing. Rachel was one of those very special people that you rarely meet in life, much less be considered their friend.
I have known her since she was still living in Rochester, MN. That had to have been around 2002. She has stayed over at my house in Minneapolis quite a few times over the years, has helped out on projects around my house and even attended my bachelor party and one very infamous New Year's Eve party at my house.
We used to have frequent talks that often lasted all night. She told me about her family and her life growing up in Texas as well as her school and work and relationships. I felt like I knew just about everything about her. I would tell her about all my thoughts and problems and she was as great a listener as she was a conversationalist. She has helped me out in ways that I am sure she didn't imagine.
But then she moved to Ames, IA and I saw and talked to her much less, except for a few Sonic runs with Amagdalyn and a few times she came to stay with us in Minneapolis. In Ames, Rachel experienced a long list of heartache and troubles with relationships, health, money, work, school, and other things.
About two years ago, she moved to Montreal, Canada to follow the love of her life at the time and to be closer to her family that had recently relocated to that area. I had really hoped that, as she followed her bliss to Canada, that she would finally the love and happiness that she very much deserved. Unfortunately, that relationship ended very badly, to which I had not even heard all the details. I am very saddened that I had not seen her for about 3 years and barely heard from her once she moved there.
I last heard from her about 3 weeks ago, when she poked her head up on Facebook for a few hours with a post about her continuing sadness over her breakup. I had commented trying to lift her spirits and she had responded with some very kind words to me. I then responded back with a long e-mail, unlike any I have sent her in a long time.
The e-mail I sent her was in further efforts to try to lift her up. And I had told her some things that I had been meaning to tell her for a long time. At the time I wrote the letter, I somehow felt afraid I might never get the chance to say these things to her. How little I knew about how right I was. I had also told her that I wanted to get back to more regular communication with her like they way things used to be.
I never did get a response from her from my email. I never heard anything more from her except for a fleeting message on Facebook about a week later that I quickly saw on my iPhone. Later, I went back to completely read it and it was gone again. Just like her.....
Over the last few years, Rachel had a bad habit popping up in my life suddenly and then go back into hiding for long periods, often with hiding her journal and Facebook. I had this eerily weird connection with her. I thought about her often, if just in passing. But other times, where I really had missed hearing from her in a while and planned to contact her shortly but often failed to, without fail on her part, I would end up hearing from her within the next 24 hours. It was very spooky. Although her Facebook is still hidden, thankfully her journal remains open to her friends.
I am very thankful I took the time to write her and express my feelings to her again but I am saddened by the fact I could not have been more helpful, done more for her or that I will never get the chance to hear from her again. It is going to be very hard, if ever, to get closure of this tragic loss.
Rachel Wilkes made a very deep impact on my life, as she did with so many other people. I will forever has a little hole in my heart, longing her loss.
Rachel, I love you very much and will miss you greatly. I hope wherever you are, you found your bliss.
I am including a note from her family, that was passed along through her friends.
"Friends and family,
We received the terrible news last night that our daughter, Rachel, has died. She had been living here with us in Montreal trying to make a new life for herself after some very difficult years. She was learning French to prepare for her new life in Quebec. She had been accepted into a internet technologies program not far from our home and was looking forward to starting classes in February. However, the difficulties of her recent years were always with her and it would seem that they overtook her. On Saturday, she left our home to go downtown to attend a French language group to work on her French. She did not return Saturday evening as was expected. Kitty and I spent a very troubled Saturday evening trying to find out where she might be. We continued our efforts throughout Sunday. Late Sunday evening, we were visited by the police with the terrible news that her body had been found out on Lac St. Louis not far from our house. It was bitterly cold and she had frozen to death. We do not know if she ever went downtown to her study group. For some unknown reason, she walked out onto the lake for some distance. That is where she was found. We don't know if she was confused or if her actions were willful.
Kitty, Noah and I are devastated as you can imagine. You have all lost loved ones. The closer they are to you, the harder it is to accept. Your children are about as close as it comes. I remember seeing my 85 year old grandmother crying uncontrollably at the funeral of her son, my father. It is not the natural order for parents to bury their children, but it happens and now it has happened to us. The empty feeling of loss is numbing and sickening. The loss will never go away. Hopefully the pain will diminish with time.
I am writing this to you all because I want you to know what has happened and I know that you would all want to know. I am also writing this because I am lost and confused and feel like I should do something but I don't know what to do. Please keep us in your prayers.
Dan, Kitty and Noah