so....
Been going to the Dr. like every 2 weeks for chest pain edema in legs and pain grr make it all go away!!!! talking to dr.s about hopfully getting Surgery real soon. Been using a walker it is so humiliating. Got tired of Dr giving me meds that dont work so i go sailing everynight with Captain morgan to ease the pain dont know what is worse the Alcohol or the drugs. i feel like Big Jer i somtimes start drinking at 9am in the morning because it will make the pain stop for a short time or at least make me beable to tolerate it . the lonleyness is getting bad and the depression is worse they took me off my pills and i just am falling in the the abyss again i hate these times i just cry alot. the one good thing is when me and captain are together i dont get drunk not even tipsy. where the drug they gave me a couple weeks ago makes me be in a fog i feel like i have had a lobotomy. I love you al and i miss you all so much I hate being so far away from my babies. How can Jer do it my heart rips open daily being away from you guys I love you MOM