just here
So, I went out Saturday. Great! I mean, yeah, I wasn't expecting much, but I was just excited to get out of the house. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY has invited me out for the longest time. The last couple of times I've been invited anywhere has been out to one's party to drink... it doesn't count.
I'm glad I went out; it reminded me of how out of touch with everybody I am.
I don't even know why. Um, let's see. I don't have any connections with anybody, except who? My ex-boyfriend, and I hardly ever see him. He says that when I want to be, I can be one of the meanest people he's ever met. On the other hand, though, he says that now, I go out of my way to help him out... which is true. I do.
Right now, all I want is to be treated well. All I want is somebody who's there, as a friend. I want somebody who's nice to me all the time, not just when we're alone. I want to be able to be nice back, and I don't want to have to worry about keeping my guard up all the time; I never know when I'm going to be insulted. Right now, I have to always be on my toes, ready to insult back.
I don't want a friend who's going to be nice when the two of us are alone, and feel as though he needs to show off in front of his friends. I don't want to be thrown around like some toy. Basically, I want to be respected, and treated like a person. The only other thing I really want is to know. I want to know why I'm not getting that now. I want to know what's so wrong with me that I don't have normal friends, like everyone else. I want to know why other people don't respect me. Nobody my age deserves this. Why's it happening? Why am I not treated like I matter... to anybody?
I'm glad I went out; it reminded me of how out of touch with everybody I am.
I don't even know why. Um, let's see. I don't have any connections with anybody, except who? My ex-boyfriend, and I hardly ever see him. He says that when I want to be, I can be one of the meanest people he's ever met. On the other hand, though, he says that now, I go out of my way to help him out... which is true. I do.
Right now, all I want is to be treated well. All I want is somebody who's there, as a friend. I want somebody who's nice to me all the time, not just when we're alone. I want to be able to be nice back, and I don't want to have to worry about keeping my guard up all the time; I never know when I'm going to be insulted. Right now, I have to always be on my toes, ready to insult back.
I don't want a friend who's going to be nice when the two of us are alone, and feel as though he needs to show off in front of his friends. I don't want to be thrown around like some toy. Basically, I want to be respected, and treated like a person. The only other thing I really want is to know. I want to know why I'm not getting that now. I want to know what's so wrong with me that I don't have normal friends, like everyone else. I want to know why other people don't respect me. Nobody my age deserves this. Why's it happening? Why am I not treated like I matter... to anybody?