(no subject)
I finally understand why I never maintained a relationship with a woman outside of a professional sphere.
They are absolutely insane.
With the arrival of new people, I decided to step out of my usual persona and be hospitable, and I happened to meet a girl named "Galinda." She more or less coerced me into going to the mall with her in a place called Oz. It was a wonder I managed to find where this "Oz" was, let alone find where the mall was. But I do not like to go back on my word, and so I sought her out.
She seemed extremely fond of the color pink, so I looked for anyone who resembled a bleached STOP sign. She was surrounded by what she called "her adoring fans" or something in that vein. This did not inhibit my finding her, as they were all no taller than three feet (I believe they belong to a species called "Munchkin," and they are sadly not edible.) Thankfully, they carried her plethora of bags while I stopped at every bakery there and bought myself enough sweets to last me at least until tomorrow.
And I'll admit that up until this point I was relatively entertained. (The munchkins periodically burst into song, and I was previously not aware that I could hear voices at that high a frequency.) But after Galinda bought her sixteenth pair of polka-dotted pink shoes, she declared that I was "dressed far too shabbily to be in her presence" and ushered me into the nearest male clothing store.
And I could've sworn that, while I was changing into something pinstriped and expensive and uncomfortable, she told the clerk to remove my usual clothing from her sight and dump it somewhere far, far away. So I am currently stranded in that pinstriped and uncomfortable something that she somehow coerced me into buying. (Not to mention that, had it been a personifiable character, my wallet would be weeping at this point for its emptiness.)
In short, I miss my jeans and my t-shirts. How does one maneuver in these ridiculous pants? And what precisely is the purpose of a tie?