No time, as usual...
Have you ever convinced yourself that you felt a certain way--
or let's be less duplicitous and put it this way--have you ever been convinced you felt a certain way,
and later, looking back on your actions, you realize that for all your conviction, your behavior told you otherwise?
I'll be more concrete: have you ever told yourself that you weren't attracted to a person, yet you burned CDs for him, invited him to your house on your birthday, talked to him for hours about music and movies and books and food....You knew he was going to be at a screening over the weekend and went with a friend, hoping you'd see him there. And then he asks you if you want to hang out with a handful of coworkers and you say yes. And then YOU ask HIM out and still you're trying to tell youself, "I don't know how I feel about this guy"?
Granted, I'm in a relationship with Dave now, so I know what kind of subjective lens I'm looking through. I just wonder--did it really take that long for me to develop an attraction to him, or was I in denial about how I felt until I was ready to recognize it?
It's nice to have a relationship with someone in which they surprise you every day, in one small way or another.
And it's odd to think about going from being decidedly single to decidedly not-single, and I think about what Heather told me--that I should wait until I find someone with whom I couldn't do anything BUT be with them. It's funny how I told myself that I wanted to find someone to date (or whatever the appropriate term is), and yet I resisted it for so long (like two months!).
You know what the best part is? I don't feel squeezed into his life. I don't feel like he's trying to make room for me somewhere. I don't feel like I have to spend every spare moment with him.
R: you have an email from me.
or let's be less duplicitous and put it this way--have you ever been convinced you felt a certain way,
and later, looking back on your actions, you realize that for all your conviction, your behavior told you otherwise?
I'll be more concrete: have you ever told yourself that you weren't attracted to a person, yet you burned CDs for him, invited him to your house on your birthday, talked to him for hours about music and movies and books and food....You knew he was going to be at a screening over the weekend and went with a friend, hoping you'd see him there. And then he asks you if you want to hang out with a handful of coworkers and you say yes. And then YOU ask HIM out and still you're trying to tell youself, "I don't know how I feel about this guy"?
Granted, I'm in a relationship with Dave now, so I know what kind of subjective lens I'm looking through. I just wonder--did it really take that long for me to develop an attraction to him, or was I in denial about how I felt until I was ready to recognize it?
It's nice to have a relationship with someone in which they surprise you every day, in one small way or another.
And it's odd to think about going from being decidedly single to decidedly not-single, and I think about what Heather told me--that I should wait until I find someone with whom I couldn't do anything BUT be with them. It's funny how I told myself that I wanted to find someone to date (or whatever the appropriate term is), and yet I resisted it for so long (like two months!).
You know what the best part is? I don't feel squeezed into his life. I don't feel like he's trying to make room for me somewhere. I don't feel like I have to spend every spare moment with him.
R: you have an email from me.