baaa

[sugar_magnolia7]

so im watching the oc, and i felt the need to update. have you ever seen that commercial when all the women have blonde hair and they get together in a large group and they take all the blonde wigs off and throw them up in the air and have all different types of hair underneath? well two things came to mind when i saw that. one being, if i was in

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Here's my advice, so get ready:

[peach_ox]

First of all, I just want to make you realize that the boys at your high school who lust after lame blonde conformist idiots are NOT the boys you would ever want to date. I promise. Those boys are lammmmme.

In some ways, it's a lie to say that one day boys come to their senses and realize where the awesome girls are, and look beyond the superficial. Most boys stay idiots forever. It sucks. HOWEVER (and this is a big however), the best way to find guys that will be interested in you and more importantly, whom you will be interested in, is to know yourself really well. Seriously. Once you know who you are and what you stand for and what you're interested in, you're in a position to get involved in those things and to be able to have an intelligent conversation. And when you find yourself in a club or a lame activity that you're interested in, you might just look around and realize that there are boys there who are interested in something cool. And those boys might just be as sick of the blonde as you are. And even if you don't end up dating one of them, guy friends are the best thing in the world.

The other great thing about knowing yourself really well and knowing what you want is that you'll have more confidence. I can't even tell you...those idiot girls are self-esteem MESSES. I promise. I know that basically from 13-25 is a sucky age to be a girl, because everything is hard and you feel bad all the time. Really, though, it's important to just step back and count the things about yourself that are different and amazing. Just realizing how fantastic you are will take you pretty far. Always having to be perfect and always having to fit in is hard....it's stressful, and it takes effort, and it's not much fun. So being as fun as you can be, and as happy and grateful for everything you have and as flawed and unapologetic as possible works in your favor. You won't be a lunatic.

Also, if your high school is particularly hard, get out of it. Join some club or something outside your town. Hang out in another city, meet friends of friends, and just start to realize that there's a world outside high school where you WILL fit in and find people who will have crushes on you and who will be awesome. It might take until college. It might only happen during summers when you're at camp....but really, I just promise that you'll find your niche and you'll be great. Ok?

This is rambling, and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I've been where you are. I promise. I was the most feeling-bad-about-myself BEAST when I was your age. It took me years to grow out of it, and I just wish I had earlier. And also, I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16 because it took that long for a boy to be interested in me AT ALL. And my life has worked out pretty well. So keep the hope alive.

You're amazing. Keep the peace, spread the love.

Phoebe

Re: Here's my advice, so get ready:

[sugar_magnolia7]

i don't know if you thought that would have an impact on me, but it did. you're advice is amazing, as are you. i promise that i will live by this and i will undoubtedly and gladly pass it on.
thank you 1000 times
love you
peace
<3lucia

Re: Here's my advice, so get ready:

[goldielocks13]

i thought i wrote a book. but it was definatly NOT rambling. seriously that just made my day without a doubt so much better. especailly after a week of low self-esteem ness, 15 year old girl style.

this reminded me of the apple story from both you and ella, that i love so so so much.

i love you phoebe, you are amazing.