Hell
I'm so glad I have a day off tomorrow, I don't think I could deal with being in public for another day. I think I'd snap.
Hmmm. Today at work I bought what I need for the dolls I want to work on, and I worked on watercolor projects for a few hours. I started and almost finished one, and then thought, whats the point? And that made me think maybe I need more pills to make me less depressed. Which is just pathetic. Because there is no point, thats the point, and I don't need pills to change that. I'm not depressed right now, and the thought that I would start to consider one bleak thought depression isn't good.
I'm just worried that I annoy people, or I bore people, or I'm being rude. I'm not fishing for reassurance, I just want to crawl into my hermit cave and somehow forget other people know I exist.
At work today, I was pricing art prints by that fairies-with-striped-stockings drawing woman, Amy Brown. And I was irrationaly outraged when I saw all these pencil marks under the watercolor that she evidently couldn't be bothered to erase. It just seems like if you are a professional artist, and you are making prints to be sold nationwide, and you are going to sell the originals for hundreds of dollars to over a thousand, and your art is really mediocre and the same concept done to death over and over again, you should at least buy a fucking two dollar eraser and get rid of the pencil guidelines you drew you stupid IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It just really bothers me.
I don't like people who do the same thing over and over again. WHich is why that guy who paints all the cozy little flower surrounded lamplit cottages that are on everything from mugs to puzzles to ugly sweatshirts little old ladies wear is on the top of my hit list. I just think people need to grow and experiment and when you settle down and start doing one thing over and over it becomes craft, not art, and its even worse when you get sloppy about it.
Gawd I'm in a foul mood tonight. This is not helped by the fact that our oven is still broken, so I will not be able to bake any doll pieces I make tomorrow.
I'm going back to work on watercolors.
Hmmm. Today at work I bought what I need for the dolls I want to work on, and I worked on watercolor projects for a few hours. I started and almost finished one, and then thought, whats the point? And that made me think maybe I need more pills to make me less depressed. Which is just pathetic. Because there is no point, thats the point, and I don't need pills to change that. I'm not depressed right now, and the thought that I would start to consider one bleak thought depression isn't good.
I'm just worried that I annoy people, or I bore people, or I'm being rude. I'm not fishing for reassurance, I just want to crawl into my hermit cave and somehow forget other people know I exist.
At work today, I was pricing art prints by that fairies-with-striped-stockings drawing woman, Amy Brown. And I was irrationaly outraged when I saw all these pencil marks under the watercolor that she evidently couldn't be bothered to erase. It just seems like if you are a professional artist, and you are making prints to be sold nationwide, and you are going to sell the originals for hundreds of dollars to over a thousand, and your art is really mediocre and the same concept done to death over and over again, you should at least buy a fucking two dollar eraser and get rid of the pencil guidelines you drew you stupid IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It just really bothers me.
I don't like people who do the same thing over and over again. WHich is why that guy who paints all the cozy little flower surrounded lamplit cottages that are on everything from mugs to puzzles to ugly sweatshirts little old ladies wear is on the top of my hit list. I just think people need to grow and experiment and when you settle down and start doing one thing over and over it becomes craft, not art, and its even worse when you get sloppy about it.
Gawd I'm in a foul mood tonight. This is not helped by the fact that our oven is still broken, so I will not be able to bake any doll pieces I make tomorrow.
I'm going back to work on watercolors.