(no subject)
So maybe like 2 weeks ago, or a week and a half ago, I decided that I was bored and that I was going to start talking to Mike again. He's cute, so I set some goals for myself. Well let me tell you, I topped my fucking record. I like him , and if you are close to me this is very obvious. And in a week and a half I got him to like me. :-D. Definitely topped my record. Now we are going to hang out and see where it goes? I definitely don't want a boyfriend right now though.
Yeah and I'm sick. It sucks. I'm so tired. Today I stayed home from school. Mono sucks. I hate frankk.
My thanksgiving sucked so bad. I cried the whole time and now I've been having dreams about my dad since then. Last night I had a dream that I was shopping before a school dance or something, and he walked by me. And I ran up to him and I staired at him and hugged him and just started to bawl. In my dream I remember thinking this is the loudest and hardest I could possibly cry ever. And he picked me up like he use to when I was a little kid and hugged my while I just sobbed. My little sister woke me up because I was crying in my sleep. Waking up was the biggest heart break I have ever had in my life. Just shear dissapointment. When I saw him in my dream it felt like so much weight had been taken off my shoulders and I just felt whole again. Waking up I got so depressed I couldn't even move. I just lied there not even wanting to blink. I wanted nothing more then to die right then. He looked exactly the same as I can remember in my dream. I guess this means that things are just getting harder for me to deal with. I hope there is a heaven.
Speaking about god, I'm possibly going to attend Padua soon. Which is cool because some of my friends from Chi go there, and some from Newark.
I spent all last week at amandas. It was so nice there. It feels like home to me.
for 5 years I put off my feelings about my dad dying, and now I just can't stand it anymore. They are so overwhelming. I really think I'm hiting depression now.
Now I'm tired again. So I think I'm going back to sleep.
Yeah and I'm sick. It sucks. I'm so tired. Today I stayed home from school. Mono sucks. I hate frankk.
My thanksgiving sucked so bad. I cried the whole time and now I've been having dreams about my dad since then. Last night I had a dream that I was shopping before a school dance or something, and he walked by me. And I ran up to him and I staired at him and hugged him and just started to bawl. In my dream I remember thinking this is the loudest and hardest I could possibly cry ever. And he picked me up like he use to when I was a little kid and hugged my while I just sobbed. My little sister woke me up because I was crying in my sleep. Waking up was the biggest heart break I have ever had in my life. Just shear dissapointment. When I saw him in my dream it felt like so much weight had been taken off my shoulders and I just felt whole again. Waking up I got so depressed I couldn't even move. I just lied there not even wanting to blink. I wanted nothing more then to die right then. He looked exactly the same as I can remember in my dream. I guess this means that things are just getting harder for me to deal with. I hope there is a heaven.
Speaking about god, I'm possibly going to attend Padua soon. Which is cool because some of my friends from Chi go there, and some from Newark.
I spent all last week at amandas. It was so nice there. It feels like home to me.
for 5 years I put off my feelings about my dad dying, and now I just can't stand it anymore. They are so overwhelming. I really think I'm hiting depression now.
Now I'm tired again. So I think I'm going back to sleep.