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Hey guys, it's Jenna updating for Matt, because we're Nigs of course, and i know you all are oh so jealous. As you all know, today Matt is fourteen! He's such a fucking geezer.. just kidding.. but I love him because he is my Nig. We are so cool with a capital Q and we are Nigs with a capital N obviously... ya heard?! Well anyways bitches, I'm on the phone with the birthday boy because he left school early and I had a minimum day! Matt, I just wanted to tell you that you're the coolest father ever. We can wiggle our big toes, snort our coke, and twidle our thumbs; and the best thing about it is that it will one day become the biggest trend ever! Yeah everyone reading this besides Davidson, probably has no idea what I'm talking about. But that's okay, 'cause it's not your birthday now is it you lazy fucker! That's what I thought. Well you guys better comment because it's Matt's mother fucking fourteenth birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!