So, I guess this is growing up...
I think I have a very skewed idea of what it is to be grown up, and that is why I have been having a series of mini mental breakdowns thinking about it.
I've been struggling with the following things:
Finding a job: Apparently growing up means making your own money and using that money to pay bills and rent and stuff. Finding a job is kind of hard, especially when one has minimal work experience and a fluffy liberal arts degree. Oh, and being bilingual in GERMAN is not what they mean when they want a bilingual employee.
Finding a place to live: I am staying in Salem, I feel like there are more opportunities here than I would find at HOME HOME but I don't feel that I am ready to make some big move to Portland (OMG SO SCARY, except not). I have found a place for the next school year, somewhat unofficially, but I still need to find a place to live for the summer. Hmmm. Elizabeth offered space to me, but we would have to share a room, possibly a bed... this is starting to sound more and more appealing. Ha. Too bad she doesn't read this.
Finding new friends: I guess I am supposed to find new grown up friends who can go to happy hour when work is over, who will still be able to play during finals week at Willamette, and who can be boring and talk about work with me. I know, it sounds so appealing.
Finding new activities: I also think that with graduation one must find a new social scene... no more can I brush elbows with the freshmen of Willamette. Or even the people who I've been hanging out with these four years? I know that a lot of my friends who've graduated have gone on to be adults, going to bars with other graduated friends, having dinner parties? Soirees? Knitting circles? Bunko games?
Finding a balance: To think that I would get all new friends and new activities is one of the things that has suddenly struck me as silly, though if I were leaving Salem it would be a reality. I can still hang out with the same people, maybe go to the same parties, whatever... will people really say, "OMG that girl totally graduated, I can't believe she still hangs out with COLLEGE STUDENTS!" I just need to start integrating some of the grown up friends and activities into my life. I don't have to quit being me and I don't have to quit the college life cold turkey. I am too young to cease all fun.
The combination of future related thoughts, memories, the concept of things being the last of my college career, thinking about my international friends, homefaring friends, and my more adventurous friends leaving, etc... it's stressing me out. I can't really deal with all of it at once, so I keep freaking out. I've got too much shit to take care of and it is just really hard to find a place to start untangling my messy life.
I've been struggling with the following things:
Finding a job: Apparently growing up means making your own money and using that money to pay bills and rent and stuff. Finding a job is kind of hard, especially when one has minimal work experience and a fluffy liberal arts degree. Oh, and being bilingual in GERMAN is not what they mean when they want a bilingual employee.
Finding a place to live: I am staying in Salem, I feel like there are more opportunities here than I would find at HOME HOME but I don't feel that I am ready to make some big move to Portland (OMG SO SCARY, except not). I have found a place for the next school year, somewhat unofficially, but I still need to find a place to live for the summer. Hmmm. Elizabeth offered space to me, but we would have to share a room, possibly a bed... this is starting to sound more and more appealing. Ha. Too bad she doesn't read this.
Finding new friends: I guess I am supposed to find new grown up friends who can go to happy hour when work is over, who will still be able to play during finals week at Willamette, and who can be boring and talk about work with me. I know, it sounds so appealing.
Finding new activities: I also think that with graduation one must find a new social scene... no more can I brush elbows with the freshmen of Willamette. Or even the people who I've been hanging out with these four years? I know that a lot of my friends who've graduated have gone on to be adults, going to bars with other graduated friends, having dinner parties? Soirees? Knitting circles? Bunko games?
Finding a balance: To think that I would get all new friends and new activities is one of the things that has suddenly struck me as silly, though if I were leaving Salem it would be a reality. I can still hang out with the same people, maybe go to the same parties, whatever... will people really say, "OMG that girl totally graduated, I can't believe she still hangs out with COLLEGE STUDENTS!" I just need to start integrating some of the grown up friends and activities into my life. I don't have to quit being me and I don't have to quit the college life cold turkey. I am too young to cease all fun.
The combination of future related thoughts, memories, the concept of things being the last of my college career, thinking about my international friends, homefaring friends, and my more adventurous friends leaving, etc... it's stressing me out. I can't really deal with all of it at once, so I keep freaking out. I've got too much shit to take care of and it is just really hard to find a place to start untangling my messy life.