i wonder... what would happen
im sick of everyone being depressed and im sick of my own depression..
i just want to be happy and everyone else to be. i guess. just because i may have had some bad times in my life doesnt mean i should shut out the world like i use to do now i am learning to like myself and deal with my problems and saddness instead of cutting them away. today someone said to me i did it because i wanted attention well thats not why i did it..i did it because i hurt so much on the inside and alot of people hurt me too that i thought hey why dont i make it hurt on the outside too.. and then i use to think that if i cut myself that all my problems would release and they would go away and then after i was done id be okay and then they would just keep coming back. thats why they call what i have chemicaly imbalance or whatever..because its in my brain that controls it and i cant just make it go away. so honestly i would never do anything like that for attention. but really i dont give a fuck what you think if you think i did well then thats great because in the long run it wont matter what you think and probabally when we all grow up most of us will forget about each other and all the problems we had back when we were in school. so nothing nowadays matters i suppose even though still the stupid little things certain people do still upset me and make me mad and sad but thats not a reason to end my life or go and hurt myself i learn to just forget about it and go on with something else in my life.
oh and for any of the assholes out there who think its funny that my nana died or anyone that you know or dont know has died its not funny at fuckin all its fuckin sick and damented and you are A fucked up person who needs help.
i just want to be happy and everyone else to be. i guess. just because i may have had some bad times in my life doesnt mean i should shut out the world like i use to do now i am learning to like myself and deal with my problems and saddness instead of cutting them away. today someone said to me i did it because i wanted attention well thats not why i did it..i did it because i hurt so much on the inside and alot of people hurt me too that i thought hey why dont i make it hurt on the outside too.. and then i use to think that if i cut myself that all my problems would release and they would go away and then after i was done id be okay and then they would just keep coming back. thats why they call what i have chemicaly imbalance or whatever..because its in my brain that controls it and i cant just make it go away. so honestly i would never do anything like that for attention. but really i dont give a fuck what you think if you think i did well then thats great because in the long run it wont matter what you think and probabally when we all grow up most of us will forget about each other and all the problems we had back when we were in school. so nothing nowadays matters i suppose even though still the stupid little things certain people do still upset me and make me mad and sad but thats not a reason to end my life or go and hurt myself i learn to just forget about it and go on with something else in my life.
oh and for any of the assholes out there who think its funny that my nana died or anyone that you know or dont know has died its not funny at fuckin all its fuckin sick and damented and you are A fucked up person who needs help.