:* Nothing *:
I just woke up at like 10 at the apartment and decided that maybe it was finally time to come home and stay for a while. For the past 2 weeks if I come here, I don't stay here. I actually just want to be by myself. I have alot to think about. I finally fell asleep last nite around 12. I hadn't been asleep, not for one second since 10am on Wednesday. Tell me I'm on drugs, tell me I'm cracked out. Yeah, and I'll laugh with you. I just have had sooo much shit to deal with. Every second of my time has been spent with the people I love, just being there for each other. Fuck sleep.
This week has been a blur, but yet full of some exciting moments, and some devestating moments. Ah, I guess thats how it goes isnt it?
Ryan passed away Monday as you know. I don't really remember much of ne thing. I was in shock. I still am. I went to Knott County to get Geoff that evening. Me Him Jess and the whole crew just got together, drank one or two for Ryan. Tuesday I don't really remember? Everything just runs together. Wednesday was the first day of the viewing. Oh my god I didn't think I was gonna make it thru it. There were soooo many people there that Ryan loved. The flowers I sent were soooo gorgeous. It was a huge plant w/ purple iris' and stuff. Aww. Everyone just came together for Ryan. I saw alot of people I hadn't saw in forever, saw alot of people I didn't want to but that wasnt the important thing. We were there for Ry. Jess didnt take it very well and I don't think she ever will. When we left that nite Petot called and told me and Jess to come up to Daves garage so we went up there and shot the shit with him and Cricket. I'll explain that part later. I love Petot I've needed him so bad these past few days but he's just been busy. Ah. Then we left and went to Johnny Rocks moms where him and Mikie B. were. Awwww Mikie B is such a sweet guy. Aw. :) But yea then me and Jess went to Matt Meades, back to Rocks, the beer store, then the apartment. We stayed up all nite just hangin out and shit. Didn't sleep that nite, did this and that and then we went back to the funeral home Thursday, after I got pulled over for Trespassing? lol A stupid mix up but whatever lol. But ne way... I just couldnt stand seeing Ryan like that ne more...Amanda Henry wanted us to come up and chill with her so we did. Ned and Evan were up there, so we all hung out for a while. Shit was chill. Then we decided to go to Jessicas apartment, got Mikie B and Johnny Rock on the way. Jessica Spradlin who I hadnt seen in ever was there. We all just shot the shit all nite, once again didn't sleep. Evan and I got in a hellacious arguement that nite and he said some of the most hurtful things I've ever heard in my life. We eventually made up but things will never, ever be the same. Whatever. Friday. The funeral. Oh dear god I couldnt handle it. I kept my head down and my eyes closed thru the entire service just thinking about Ryan...okay I cant go into detail I have finally stopped crying, so yeah. Carrie, Ry's mom wanted Jess and I to have some flowers, which were beautiful and some things of Ryans. We're supposed to go over there one day soon. I couldn't deal with going the burial. I just couldnt do it. So Jess and I went to her house, hung out, then ended up gettin with the boys again. Went to Amandas where Evan and I talked, shit was kind of okay then. But we decided we were gonna go back to the apartment and chill, and so we went and picked up Crick. Evan rode in my trunk the whole way to Jessicas LoL. CRAZY. Everyone partied up hell that nite...except for me and Crick. We spent the whole nite talking about shit. We're together now...I'm happy, but I'm scared. I'll just leave it there. I made some promises to him I hope I can keep, and vice versa. SOOOO much drama went on that nite...but thats what happens when ya get a buncha crack heads together. Everyone was still goin strong at like 11am. LoL. It was wild. I've gave up on that shit though. All the shit. Have been tryin for a while. It doesn't get you anywhere and I'm glad someone made me realize it. Ne way me and Crick left and came to my house and stuff, watched movies and talked. Just spending time together really. I don't know where things will go...we'll see. I took him to the garage around 4 so him and Dave could go to the races, but they got rained out ne way so he went home and went to bed. By last nite I was ready for some friggin sleep. And food. Last time I ate was Wednesday nite. Damn...But me and Jess and Jess ran around for a while. Then they went to the club. I didn't wanna. Yea, weird I know. Got up w/ everyone for a while. Me and Evan ran around, shits just tense though. Talked to Bucky and Brian for a while. Timmy C and them wanted us to party but fuck I couldnt stay awake let alone party. I kept like fallin asleep. I realized I was done. So I went back to the apartment and crashed at like 12:30am. I slept with my cell beside me and I had like 3947349073 missed calls, and some said I recieved but I don't remember talking to anyone and its hard fuckin tellin what I said 2'em if I did talk to them. Idk what all went on after I went to sleep. Kita and a buncha ppl came up there, idk tho. I was killed. I woke up about 9, feeling much much better..I walked in the living room and I knew something was wrong. Danielle Brax and Sean were there and Jess was cryin. I knew it had to be their grandmother. She passed away this morning. I don't see how everyone can deal with everything thats goin on. God give us strength is all I can say. I wanted Cricket to go to church with me this morning but I didn't get ready in time and he must be asleep he didnt answer. He said he'd go sometime with me though. :)
I've had such a crazy week. I'm sorry all my thoughts run together and my mind jumps from this and that. It's been like that for a few days. Oh well. I think I'm finally hungry...I'm gonna go eat and try to sleep. I need it.
Peace Love and Condom Grease
RIP Ryan Thomas! I love ya!
This week has been a blur, but yet full of some exciting moments, and some devestating moments. Ah, I guess thats how it goes isnt it?
Ryan passed away Monday as you know. I don't really remember much of ne thing. I was in shock. I still am. I went to Knott County to get Geoff that evening. Me Him Jess and the whole crew just got together, drank one or two for Ryan. Tuesday I don't really remember? Everything just runs together. Wednesday was the first day of the viewing. Oh my god I didn't think I was gonna make it thru it. There were soooo many people there that Ryan loved. The flowers I sent were soooo gorgeous. It was a huge plant w/ purple iris' and stuff. Aww. Everyone just came together for Ryan. I saw alot of people I hadn't saw in forever, saw alot of people I didn't want to but that wasnt the important thing. We were there for Ry. Jess didnt take it very well and I don't think she ever will. When we left that nite Petot called and told me and Jess to come up to Daves garage so we went up there and shot the shit with him and Cricket. I'll explain that part later. I love Petot I've needed him so bad these past few days but he's just been busy. Ah. Then we left and went to Johnny Rocks moms where him and Mikie B. were. Awwww Mikie B is such a sweet guy. Aw. :) But yea then me and Jess went to Matt Meades, back to Rocks, the beer store, then the apartment. We stayed up all nite just hangin out and shit. Didn't sleep that nite, did this and that and then we went back to the funeral home Thursday, after I got pulled over for Trespassing? lol A stupid mix up but whatever lol. But ne way... I just couldnt stand seeing Ryan like that ne more...Amanda Henry wanted us to come up and chill with her so we did. Ned and Evan were up there, so we all hung out for a while. Shit was chill. Then we decided to go to Jessicas apartment, got Mikie B and Johnny Rock on the way. Jessica Spradlin who I hadnt seen in ever was there. We all just shot the shit all nite, once again didn't sleep. Evan and I got in a hellacious arguement that nite and he said some of the most hurtful things I've ever heard in my life. We eventually made up but things will never, ever be the same. Whatever. Friday. The funeral. Oh dear god I couldnt handle it. I kept my head down and my eyes closed thru the entire service just thinking about Ryan...okay I cant go into detail I have finally stopped crying, so yeah. Carrie, Ry's mom wanted Jess and I to have some flowers, which were beautiful and some things of Ryans. We're supposed to go over there one day soon. I couldn't deal with going the burial. I just couldnt do it. So Jess and I went to her house, hung out, then ended up gettin with the boys again. Went to Amandas where Evan and I talked, shit was kind of okay then. But we decided we were gonna go back to the apartment and chill, and so we went and picked up Crick. Evan rode in my trunk the whole way to Jessicas LoL. CRAZY. Everyone partied up hell that nite...except for me and Crick. We spent the whole nite talking about shit. We're together now...I'm happy, but I'm scared. I'll just leave it there. I made some promises to him I hope I can keep, and vice versa. SOOOO much drama went on that nite...but thats what happens when ya get a buncha crack heads together. Everyone was still goin strong at like 11am. LoL. It was wild. I've gave up on that shit though. All the shit. Have been tryin for a while. It doesn't get you anywhere and I'm glad someone made me realize it. Ne way me and Crick left and came to my house and stuff, watched movies and talked. Just spending time together really. I don't know where things will go...we'll see. I took him to the garage around 4 so him and Dave could go to the races, but they got rained out ne way so he went home and went to bed. By last nite I was ready for some friggin sleep. And food. Last time I ate was Wednesday nite. Damn...But me and Jess and Jess ran around for a while. Then they went to the club. I didn't wanna. Yea, weird I know. Got up w/ everyone for a while. Me and Evan ran around, shits just tense though. Talked to Bucky and Brian for a while. Timmy C and them wanted us to party but fuck I couldnt stay awake let alone party. I kept like fallin asleep. I realized I was done. So I went back to the apartment and crashed at like 12:30am. I slept with my cell beside me and I had like 3947349073 missed calls, and some said I recieved but I don't remember talking to anyone and its hard fuckin tellin what I said 2'em if I did talk to them. Idk what all went on after I went to sleep. Kita and a buncha ppl came up there, idk tho. I was killed. I woke up about 9, feeling much much better..I walked in the living room and I knew something was wrong. Danielle Brax and Sean were there and Jess was cryin. I knew it had to be their grandmother. She passed away this morning. I don't see how everyone can deal with everything thats goin on. God give us strength is all I can say. I wanted Cricket to go to church with me this morning but I didn't get ready in time and he must be asleep he didnt answer. He said he'd go sometime with me though. :)
I've had such a crazy week. I'm sorry all my thoughts run together and my mind jumps from this and that. It's been like that for a few days. Oh well. I think I'm finally hungry...I'm gonna go eat and try to sleep. I need it.
Peace Love and Condom Grease
RIP Ryan Thomas! I love ya!