goodbye
Tonight is the end, and the beginning. I always made the first move, the first kiss, the first hug, there were lots of firsts for me, as our relationship progressed. I'm not saying I regretted anything, in the least, but actually there was one thing that i do wish i could have taken back: Trusting Him.
I never stalked him, checked up on him, tried to form what he was doing in my head, called his friends, or got obsessive... I guess that's where i messed up. At first glance, I thought we would last, stay together, "work", but little did i know, it wouldn't "work-out", and it didn't. Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet...
I'm okay. I really am. I KNOW he is okay, lately him and Kelsey (his ex girlfriend) have been spending a lot of time together. This must be his way of deciding what he wants... now he shouldn't have any problem since Kelsey is his only option.
Today i felt sick. really, really, really sick. I have no clue why i have this sudden illness, maybe it;s god's way of saying I feel terrible the way things are, so if i fix everything, try to make it ok, let Walt go... then i will heal, and get better. I miss him already, though he's not yet gone. Instead of calling to break the news, I will just cry myself to sleep and silently ignore his calls..text messages.. and the awesome poster he got me, which now hangs above my bed. i may take it down.. i love it though.. but it causes problems. just when i think i'm over him, i'll walk into my room, and see it, and b depressed again.
The reason why i don't call him is simple, it takes away the pain of hearing his voice. i know what he's gonna tell me, so i don't wanna hear it.
"I'm with kelsey now. sorry cindy. it just didn't work out with me and you, so i resorted to cheating on you.
you couldn't ever give me what she gave me."
they say you never forget your first love, so i guess that's why he wants her back so bad.
i wasn't the bad person.
i didn't do anything wrong.. *whimpers*
thinking back now. he lied to me.
i asked him how he loved me.. and he lied to me.
he told me he loved me as a future wife.
:(
I haven't even had to igonore his calls, because he doesn't call.
Maybe it was my haircut, my lips, my braces, my weight, my smile, or even my kiss...which ever it twas I'll tell you this:
Tonight i close on this:
I am a failure, once again, but this time I've lost my boyfriend.
I never stalked him, checked up on him, tried to form what he was doing in my head, called his friends, or got obsessive... I guess that's where i messed up. At first glance, I thought we would last, stay together, "work", but little did i know, it wouldn't "work-out", and it didn't. Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet...
I'm okay. I really am. I KNOW he is okay, lately him and Kelsey (his ex girlfriend) have been spending a lot of time together. This must be his way of deciding what he wants... now he shouldn't have any problem since Kelsey is his only option.
Today i felt sick. really, really, really sick. I have no clue why i have this sudden illness, maybe it;s god's way of saying I feel terrible the way things are, so if i fix everything, try to make it ok, let Walt go... then i will heal, and get better. I miss him already, though he's not yet gone. Instead of calling to break the news, I will just cry myself to sleep and silently ignore his calls..text messages.. and the awesome poster he got me, which now hangs above my bed. i may take it down.. i love it though.. but it causes problems. just when i think i'm over him, i'll walk into my room, and see it, and b depressed again.
The reason why i don't call him is simple, it takes away the pain of hearing his voice. i know what he's gonna tell me, so i don't wanna hear it.
"I'm with kelsey now. sorry cindy. it just didn't work out with me and you, so i resorted to cheating on you.
you couldn't ever give me what she gave me."
they say you never forget your first love, so i guess that's why he wants her back so bad.
i wasn't the bad person.
i didn't do anything wrong.. *whimpers*
thinking back now. he lied to me.
i asked him how he loved me.. and he lied to me.
he told me he loved me as a future wife.
:(
I haven't even had to igonore his calls, because he doesn't call.
Maybe it was my haircut, my lips, my braces, my weight, my smile, or even my kiss...which ever it twas I'll tell you this:
Tonight i close on this:
I am a failure, once again, but this time I've lost my boyfriend.