When mistletoe kisses get angsty.

[sufferheir]

Continuing from here: http://a-facility-log.livejournal.com/720074.html?thread=24516042#t24516042

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[psionichax0r]

[Sollux swallowed hard. Afraid already of where this was going.]

...And then?

[sufferheir]

[He shook his head, walking a bit further into this room. His eyes looked distant now.]

I. I don't know. She kept making it sound like she was disappointed in me, like I was fucking things up somehow. But.

[And he stalled out again. He closed his eyes.]

[psionichax0r]

[Sollux stepped closer.]

They aren't here, and. You're not a fuck up.

[sufferheir]

[He made a quiet choking sound in his throat.]

I. I know.

[He's trying to work himself up to telling the next part, but he's not sure if he can.]

[psionichax0r]

[He hesitated. and when he did ask, it was almost a whisper.]

...What did she do to you?

[sufferheir]

[It takes a moment, but he replies. When he does, though, it sounds almost subconscious.]

She just wouldn't stop.

[psionichax0r]

KK..

[he couldn't think of anything to say. he came to stand beside him.]

Was it in here?

[sufferheir]

[He nods, gaze wandering to the floor again.]

[psionichax0r]

[If he was being honest with himself, it really wasn't that hard to figure out. He didn't want to be touched, nearly had a panic attack at the idea of a kiss. She wouldn't stop. Sollux could almost feel her hands on him again, as he cried, to afraid to plead, to weak to tell her to stop. He shuddered.]

Please.

[The words came out like a croak, his voice thick and heavy, his throat tight.]

Please tell me she didn't.

[sufferheir]

[As much as he wanted to he couldn't. He couldn't because it wasn't true. But the only way he was willing to say it was by saying nothing at all.]

[psionichax0r]

[He took a deep breath. His hand automatically moving to rub at the spot on his chest. As long as the mark was there he was safe, he closed his eyes.]

I know. The feeling.

Dirty. Broken.

[sufferheir]

[He felt himself shivering, his hands shaking at his sides. He felt like he couldn't move all over again.]

I just...I thought it was real.

[psionichax0r]

They were fake KK, what you have with us, that's real.

[sufferheir]

I know.

[He said it, but he didn't sound so sure. He made a quiet, stained noise in his throat, like an overload of emotion he was trying to keep from escaping.]

They wouldn't help me.

[psionichax0r]

[He reached out to tentatively touch against Karkat's hand.]

Help you what?

[sufferheir]

[His hand twitched at the touch, but he let him.]

I asked him to help me and he didn't.