no one hears you when your screaming.

[sueypoey]

Please... can one more thing in my life get effed up???? Its like... i get soooo close then have it snatched away. I dont even know why i bother doing anything anymore. it gets me nowhere. I get my hopes up and i get excited like maybe this is my break I have been waiting for... them POOF!! haha Sue you suck and this and that and everything. What do you do when your back up plan doesnt work even. Just give up?? Its just one thing after another and thats what I want to do... give up. I feel like im not good enough for anything or anyone. I totaly broke down the other night talking to my dad and told him no one will ever want to be with me because im a loser and have nothing going for me. I see my friends making something of themselves while I do nothing. I try... i really do but i get no where. I cant find anything that im good at. Theres always someone that does it better. Theres always someone better. Then I get replaced and then i think about the choices i've made in the past. Like if i didnt do this... i probably would be there.... or i wouldnt be (insert f bomb here) alone or (f bomb)losing everything. Im just pissed right now. Maybe not pissed... maybe more like upset... let down... and I want to get it all out. But you dont want to hear it. And its ok. You shouldnt have to. Its not your job.

Is it too late to say this? Im sorry.... i think i screwed up....alot...

on a different note..... is there any good programs to download music left??

i dont get it. im just angry with myself. no one else. truth is i love ya. =) just not myself. and i need to love myself in order to have someone love me in return.