more useless rambling

[sueypoey]

I dont understand. I want to say sooo much but do I say anything.....no. I dont tell people how I feel.... I try not to show emotion. I dont let myself cry unless I am alone. I want to say things but I dont because I dont want to hurt anyone or scare anyone. I want to yell and scream it at the top of my lungs.... but even then I dont think anyone will hear me. I want to give up and accept that I have became a failure at life. I do the same thing day after day.... work...then work again... sleep..... work, work, sleep.... And then i get people asking me.... What do you want to do with your life??? I have no idea. I know I dont want to end up alone but it looks like im not doing good at that either.

I kinda have a plan. I wanted to share it with you.... but i get the feeling you dont want to listen.... and when you do listen its only because you feel sorry for me. I want to tell you everything..... but i really tell you nothing.

I need to get to bed. I shouldnt have had those mudslides.... now im thinking way to much for my own good. dang it.....

i......... nevermind. I wont say it... ever.