Journey to a Land without Ambiguity

[suey_generis]

RP locked to Angel and DarlaNormally, it wouldn't have been at all difficult to undo Cyvus Vail's memory spell on Connor's human parents. All the Immortal would have to do is find the wizard and apply methods of persuasion which are, well, persuasive. But Illyria had removed that option pretty handily and, in kiling Vail, activated a failsafe --

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[tm_darla]

Darla naturally is too bright to talk with the Immortal in a language the guard, whose suspicions are hardly at rest, doesn't know but could recognize as the same one. Besides, since the people here talk English, which they clearly shouldn't, she assumes there might be a kind of universal translator issue going on; undercover time as a high school girl when snacking on geeks sometimes pays off.

So she keeps it simple. And English. Replying to the Immortal directly, just by addressing the guard, whose eyes wander between the three of them while they march towards what are hopefully the dungeons.

Torture sounds like a plan to me, don't you agree, comrade?

She might be getting her revolutions a bit mixed up.

Which of the two of them do you think will hold out longer?

If there is genuine interest and enthusiasm in her voice, it's not just good playacting. The true plan, as much as it exists, is quite simple: get to the dungeons, where the Immortal has said the artifacts are, overpower the guard and whomever else they find there, get out of Dodge. All this being said, a girl should be allowed her fun dreams.

"Who did you say bade you to capture these villains, woman?" the guard asks her, apparently not so much of a torture connosseur.

A man wiser than you,

she returns without missing a beat but trying very hard to think of a plausible title.

He knew the greenskins would find others to do their dirty work, traitors who would ruin the republic...

Sadly, her patriotic fervor does not have the wished for results.

"Aye, but I would like a name," the guard insists. At this point, already very near the dungeons which originally all were supposed to put to other use - the reason why the library is there these days - but now have increasingly been changed back to their original purpose, they encounter the new librarian. Tall, handsome, with a haircut truly similar to Angel's, whom he immediately recognizes.

"Angel!"

Yes, it is the Groosalug.

"What fate brings you... is my princess in need?"

[not_a_eunuch]

Angel has never seen the Harry Potter movies so he has no idea what mudblood means. He's pretty sure it's an insult and he makes a note to look it up later. For now, he's a little impressed that Todd has managed to keep up the ruse.

The guard is suspicious and Darla is doing her best to wrap him around her finger. Of course all this talk of torture and dungeons is reminding Angel of the good old days with Darla. He's a little upset they won't have time to relive a few of the memories when they reach the desired destination.

He hears his name called out and looks to see who has recognized him. Groosalug. Of course. Because this trip wouldn't be complete without Cordy's boy toy being around.

Angel of course asks the question that is the most important considering their situation, "When did you come back to Pylea?" Then he pauses and with a slow not quite cruel smile adds, "Your princess is married now. To an actor."

[suey_generis]

Fortunately, the Immortal is used to life without segues, so he puts the pieces of Groosalugg and Angel's acquaintance together pretty quickly. That doesn't mean he's happy about it. The champion-turned-royal-librarian has been part of an informal arrangement regarding the Immortal and his information storage system for some time now, and it annoys him that the guy greeted Angel first.

"Hey!" he yells at Groo. "How about nodding my way. And getting us out of these damn chains. And since when do you know this joker. . .AND Cordelia?" To himself, he mutters, "I always said she looked a princess." Then, remembering that Darla's plan is apparently to get them down to the dungeon with acess to the books and artifacts, he nods at Darla, "I mean, this crazy wench is all set to torture us to death." The Groosalugg knows enough about the Immortal to know this is impossible, so hopefully he will have the sense to play along. "Don't you want to come and watch?"

[tm_darla]

Now, the Groosalug is a kind, sweet-natured man. But he did love Cordelia, and giving her up so she could be happy with Angel had been a real sacrifice. Consequently, Angel’s greeting which seems to throw it away as worthless galls. The Immortal’s casual reference doesn’t help, either.

“You must have broken her heart, faithless villain!”

he shouts at Angel, and continues directed at Todd, whom he knows as Sir Toby (who for some reason calls him Andrew):

“And you, do not taint her name! I would challenge you both, but you are not men of honour. Torture is the only thing fit for you.”

Actually, this is the Groosalug playing along, for he did figure out that the group wants to get to the dungeons; all those weeks around Angel & Co. have not been in vain. But he’s sincerely furious as well. Which makes it hard for Darla to judge whether he’s playacting or not. She decides not to take any risks. The guard has been distracted by the interplay between the former Champion of Pylea, Angel and the Immortal, and thus makes the mistake of turning his back on Darla. A moment later, he’s on the floor, unconscious, and the Immortal’s gun is in her hands.

“Does a woman need to do everything herself?”

she asks the three men, giving Groo the once over. He’s really quite a dish, but if he turns out to be trouble, well, that gun still has several bullets left.

“I thought this was the country of champions.”

[not_a_eunuch]

Angel is pretty sure that Groo is playing along, but he's also sure that Groo wouldn't mind torturing him because of what happened to Cordy. If he had time to explain it all, he would, but they can't afford long drawn out explanations that start with, 'So first Cordy was hijacked by a power and slept with my son...'

He smiles at Darla because he is more than a little proud of how well she has handled things. He's still sore thanks to being shot in the ass by Todd, but he's going to be a good sport and not bring that up until after they find the artifacts.

"I'll explain about Cordy once we reach the dungeon." Angel pauses, thinks about Orlando and the mess he made of Cordy's life and adds, "You should consider coming back with us. I bet Cordy would love to see you."

[suey_generis]

"Cordy would love to see HIM????" the Immortal demands. "I bought her a fucking car and she wouldn't even give me --"

Seeing a good time for a change of subject, he whirls to Groo, and points at Angel, "Didst thou hear this knave insult your princess?"

He's getting into character now. Toby Belch may not be Falstaff, but the Immortal's always had a soft spot for him. Especially because he knows where Will first heard the 'cakes and ale' line, even if no one else does.

To Groo, he continues, "Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it."

All right, maybe this is getting a little out of hand. But if they need reining in, Darla can make the call. She always does.

[tm_darla]

"Nobody is duelling until we get the artifacts in the dungeon,"

Darla says sharply, and then smiles.

"Afterwards, I just insist on a ringseat. Unless you boys want torture after all."

She bats her eyelashes at the Groosalug.

"Kind Sir, we are in dire distress and need to search the library for artifacts needed to save our son."

Groo looks from Darla to Angel to the Immortal and back. Then something happens which rarely happened to Darla through the centuries. He stares at her with utter scorn and declares:

"So this is the worthless wench for which you would cast the pearl aside that is my princess, Angel? I shall help you to secure your offspring once more, as this is what my beloved would wish. But then, there shall be a reckoning!"

He turns and marches off in the direction of the library/dungeon, which is basically next door.

[not_a_eunuch]

"She's not worthless and Cordy cast me off first!" Angel says because even in a situation like this he has to defend Darla's honor and well his own.

Angel follows behind as they enter the library/dungeon and adds, "We're still friends, Groo. She's not holding it against me so I don't think you should either."

Groo gives Angel a glare that makes Angel glare at Todd. Because really this can be linked to being Todd's fault if Angel thinks about it hard enough. Then Angel smiles and adds, "He was with Cordy and bought her a car. I'm pretty sure he cheated on her so maybe you should throw some of that anger in his direction."

[suey_generis]

This is a total 'when did you stop beating your wife?' situation, and he's sure that Angel knows it. Either he has to admit that he never had a shot with Cordy, or tell her besotted prince (the besotted prince who couldn't kill him but could definitely cause him a lot of pain) that he dated other women at the same time.

If he thought about the situation, he would realize the dilemma, but one advantage to being the Immortal is that he doesn't waste too much time on unnecessary contemplation. So he blurts out the first thing which comes to mind, which is:

"I never cheated on Cordelia! Harmony misinterpreted that whole situation." Not even remembering that his several non-dates with Cordelia coincided with the time he and Darla were on fairly intimate terms themselves. Fortunately, they're at the dungeon, and Groosalugg is momentarily distracted from the details of the trio's confusing love lives. "Now, he says. . . if we can just borrow the Crystal of Numfar, the Pltz Grb Codex, and the Helmet of Astrakoth? We'll be on our way."

In fact, while the first two artifacts are the key to reversing the Vail memory spell, the helmet of Astrakoth has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is, however, an extremely silly looking hat, and the Immortal plans to tell Angel that the person who wishes the spell reversed absolutly MUST wear it in public for 24 hours. Come to think of it, if the Immortal is Sir Toby, and Groo is Sir Andrew, then a chronic killjoy like Angel tracks to Malvolio. Clearly. The Immortal makes a mental note to send him yellow stockings for his birthday.

Just as Groo is preparing to open the library/dungeon, he stops short. "Why SHOULD I help you? Will this benefit my princess?" Despairing of getting anything like sense out of the boys, he looks to Darla.