Journey to a Land without Ambiguity

[suey_generis]

RP locked to Angel and DarlaNormally, it wouldn't have been at all difficult to undo Cyvus Vail's memory spell on Connor's human parents. All the Immortal would have to do is find the wizard and apply methods of persuasion which are, well, persuasive. But Illyria had removed that option pretty handily and, in kiling Vail, activated a failsafe --

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[suey_generis]

The Immortal can't decide if he's just been insulted, and he's too busy glowering at Angel behind the wheel to care. But he balks at getting in.

"There's a hot spot here --" He nods at Fenway. "Really the only explanation for the history of this team. But you think we can just DRIVE through a portal? This isn't "Back to the Future." We have to be joined together with a metal enclosure and. . ." He looks at the car, considers, then sighs and flips out the cell phone and hits speed dial. "Hey Dawn? Cancel the speeding metal enclosure machine." A pause. "Yes, I know that is actually a good deal like an automobile, thank you." Pause. "Yes, I *did* figure it out myself."

With another dramatic sigh, he flounces into the backseat, and flips out his palm pilot. "OK, one thing we don't need is any fancy books. They just get lost in the transition." He nods at Darla. "Start driving up Brookline, and once you build up some speed, I'll read the incantation." OK, actually? This is a lot like 'Back to the Future.' He wonders if he sold the story to Zemeckis and then forgot about it.

[not_a_eunuch]

Angel isn't happy about the kiss that Darla gives Todd, but he is smug that his kiss was longer and she chose Angel to drive. The fact that she climbs into the passenger seat so the immortal has to sit the back makes Angel smirk.

"We're going to drive through the portal?" He asks, making sure he understands. He's done this before, but he has no idea which dimension he's heading towards this time.

He starts up the car and looks over at Darla. "You may want to buckle up."

[tm_darla]

The Immortal nods with a bored eyeroll upon Angel's question. It occurs to Darla that as opposed to the two boys, she never visited another dimension before, at least not in the flesh, with one exception - that trip through the swimmingpool to save her life. Not the happiest of precedents, though it was only then that she had found the courage to accept death for the first time. But she's determined not to show any signs of intimidation. Upon Angel's second remark, she can't resist the obvious follow up with a movie quote, turning her head to give the Immortal an amused look, as the fondness of quoting films is something the two of them share.

"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night."

Well, Bette Davis has always been one of her favourite actresses. Angel speeds up the car, and she can hear Todd's voice from behind. They hit something that feels like lightning, and for a moment, she wonders whether this will turn out to be nothing but a prank of the Immortal's.

Then she opens her eyes and blinks. There is sunshine, and what appears to be the wild countryside, smelling like no countryside has done for the last century due to air pollution.

All that's left is for the Immortal to say "We're not in Kansas anymore."

[suey_generis]

"I might observe," yawns the Immortal, making sure to appear unimpressed with the clear skies and virgin forests, the like of which have not been seen in North America for several centuries, "that we're not in Kansas anymore. Except that I've never been to Kansas. Wouldn't be caught dead in flyover country, even if being caught dead were an option."

He smiles at Darla, but keeps his eye on Angel, eager to see the vampires reaction to the sudden sunlight. Subtly, his hand travels under his suede jacket for the Browning Automatic he has stashed there. The new government claims to have taken care of the hellbeast problem, but better safe than sorry.

[not_a_eunuch]

As soon as they reach the other side of the portal, the sun hits Angel's face and he has his normal reaction- Duck and shield. Of course this amuses Todd. It might even amuse Darla. Okay, it amuses Darla.

"Pylea?" Angel asks, as he slowly sits back up and looks around. It's Pylea. Why didn't Todd tell them they were going to Pylea?

"If you'd told us where we were heading, we could have brought Cordy with us. She's the princess here."

[tm_darla]

She's immediately grateful that the Immortal didn't mention Pylea to Angel. Though Darla's feelings for Cordelia Chase these days have distinct elements of cautious sympathy, she is an alpha female. Let Cordelia be a princess (and focus of amusing male competition) elsewhere. There can be only one queen.

On another note, Angel knowing this region is an unexpected bonus. They'll be able to find the artificats and books and whatever they need to help Connor that much faster. The smile she gives Angel is almost pure relief. Almost.

"You're familiar with this place?"

And some teasing inevitably creeps in.

"And just how familiar is this place with you, dearest?"

[suey_generis]

The Immortal naturally assumes this last "dearest" was directed at him and unconsciously -- all right, maybe a little consciously -- edges between Angel and Darla, and says . . .

"Hardly at all, and I'd like to keep it that way."

He glares at Angel.

"It sort of makes the storing of powerful manuscripts and totems without attracting the all-seeing eye of Wolfram & Hart a little easier to manage. I know you're not exactly low-profile boy. . ."

The Immortal, having little patience with irony unless it suits him, doesn't appreciate exactly how ridiculous this sounds coming out of Todd Campbell's mouth.

"But let's try to be discreet?" He frowns. "Cordelia was princess of what, the cows?"

[not_a_eunuch]

Angel can't help but roll his eyes when Todd assumes that Darla was speaking to him when she said dearest. He notices that Todd has placed himself between them either and it's take a lot of self control not to grab the Immortal by the back of the neck and throw him to the ground. Maybe it's Pylea that brings out his rage. No, it's Todd.

"You wouldn't know discretion if it hit you upside the head." Angel snaps, his patience at the end of the rope when dealing with Todd. Not that he had a lot of patience with Todd to begin with.

"She was princess of Pylea. Of all of this. They loved her here." He explains. "I'm not sure if they will remember me though. I was just another champion. They have a lot of those around here."

[tm_darla]

Men. Fun as this promises to be, it should wait until after they located the items they need. Darla gets out of the car - taking a deep breath while doing so, because the air is really gorgeous - then looks around.

"Boys,"

she says,

"neither of you are suitable for a game of hide and seek, so if any infiltration will be necessary, it will probably have to be me. Which is why I'd appreciate an update on exactly who is in charge of this place, and whether they're prone to go after us with forks or welcome you back, Angel, and where exactly these books and artifacts we need are located, Todd. Also?"

She looks around.

"I don't see any roads here. Which probably means we'll have to go on foot."

She isn't wearing high heels, but the shoes aren't flat practical sports wear, either, and she'll look ridiculous and be uncomfortable trying to walk in them over the fields, so she sits down on the car and removes them, in the process displaying her well-shaped legs.

"I really would have appreciated a war..."

At this moment, they hear what sounds like a lot of horses and actually are only three of them; the new regime sends out security patrols through the Pylean countryside, due to trouble between cows and demon folk. If any of the three of them has seen The Two Towers, they're about to get a distinct sense of deja vue.

[suey_generis]

Honestly, the Immortal hasn't even thought aobut how they were going to get to the palace and the library; for his standard visits, he uses a hotspot in a portal in the antechamber of one of the royal family's more appealing ladies-in-waiting. This would have been a little awkward in the three-traveler situation, though, and not only because of potential damage to boththe antechamber and Darla's car.

Darla is clearly annoyed at the prospect of having to walk, so he's almost relieved by the approaching hoofbeats. Equestrians in this society mean nobility, and that means someone they can talk into a lift to the palace. Or, worst case scenario? They'll be captured and CARRIED to the palace. At least they won't have to walk. And the Immortal has faith in his ability to talk his way out of a captivity situation; Darla's too. Angelus had just better keep his mouth shut.

As the riders draw near, the Immortal raises his hand and steps forward, motioning Darla and Angelus to form a sort of phalanx behind him.

"What, ho!" he calls. "We do desire a parlay, for we are friends of the regime!"

He hasn't done the medieval thing in a while. Hopes he has the terminology right.

An arrow zings past, and the Immortal instinctively ducks. All right. Maybe not so much with the terminology. He looks to his companions to see how they will respond.

[tm_darla]

Darla, who is very aware of her mortal, human status, has not the slightest intention of getting into some kind of fight if it can be avoided. So she uses what Angel has said earlier and yells at her most imperial at the approaching horsemen - who are indeed men, it should be noted, not demons, which will be important later:

"What kind of insult is this to the messengers of the mighty princess Cordelia? Do you not see her champion Angel here?"

That gets the riders' attention. Well, in part. Two of them halt their horses and look impressed, or at least thoughtful. One looks furious.

"Angel? The Greenskin lover?"

And he rides directly towards the object of his fury...

[not_a_eunuch]

Greenskin lover? Oh Lorne. Well he was never Angel's lover, but Angel doesn't have time to explain that because the guy on the horse is charging at him.

He grabs hold of the man's leg, effectively pulling him from the horse as drops him to the ground. "Someone make sure that horse doesn't get away. And no leaving me so you two can ride off together."

It's not that he doesn't trust them, well he doesn't trust Todd, but he also clearly remember Darla taking off a couple of times and leaving Angel to fend for himself. The time with Holtz is clear in his mind, but she did come to rescue so maybe he should just concentrate on the glaring man on the ground who effectively stays on the ground with Angel's foot pressed against his throat.

"Princess Cordelia would be very displeased with your actions."

[suey_generis]

"That's right." The Immortal isn't impressed with Angel's handling of the attacker or anything. And that whole "champion" gig? Total crap. Still, Angel seems to be winning this particular fight, and these guys are only human. So he may as well make it clear they're on the same side.

And so he sidles up next to Angel and stands shoulder to shoulder -- all right, just a little bit in front.

"That's right, we are emissaries of the Princess Cordelia. We require an audience with her regent." He was already aware that the current rulers of Pylea were nominally considered to be standing-in for the departed princess and seer, whose return had been prophesied. What he hadn't done, before, was put that princess together with his Cordelia. He had just put the name down to a Shakespeare thing. One of those coincidences like they always found on sci-fi shows, where the alternate universes were strangely conversant with Earth culture.

Then one of the soldiers still standing, the apparent leader, moved closer to the Immortal and grimaced. "You're an emissary of the princess?" He unsheathed his sword and moved closer. Under his stylish yet casual summer sport coat, the Immortal's hand closed around his handgun. I could swear, said the soldier, who he now vaguely recognized, that you are the same man to whom my master once traded me for... The man spit, though the spit mostly hit Angel . . .a handful of beans.

The Immortal's hand that wasn't on the gun rose to his collar, as he coughed nervously, then corrected, "Magic beans."

[tm_darla]

Darla has been taken care of the riderless horse. Really, some people just know how to bear a grudge. She's already sitting on it when she hears the beans exchange, which is followed up with the third rider drawing his sword as well and declaring: "Well, you decadent slave-owning bastard, times are different now. The Princess no longer rules, nor does the Regent. We are a people's republic and we don't hold with slaver scum!"

Leaving Angel and Todd to deal with Soldier No.2 (since 1. is already incapacitated), Darla uses the long declaration to investigate the saddle of the horse she's currently sitting on for weapons. And sure enough, there is a bow and arrow. Which Darla can handle. She also doesn't hold with sportsmanlike rules about shooting from behind, or sparing the lives of humans with lethal intentions. As soon as No.3 has arrives at "slaver scum", his exclamation is punctured by an arrow in his back. He drops of his horse.

He was getting tiresome,

comments Darla, not at all repentant. Besides, now they have another ride.

[not_a_eunuch]

"Magic beans." Angel mutters as lashes out a punch at the soldier approaching them. When the one beneath his foot tries to squirm away, he steps down hard enough to render the guy unconscious. That will work for now.

"Nice shot, Darla."

Darla has taken out the third one so he assumes that Todd, who Angel notices stood just slightly in front of Angel, will want to make a big show of taking out the last one.

"Magic beans." He repeats because it's hard to work his mind around the kinds of situations that Todd manages to get himself into. Of course there is a small part of Angel that is impressed that Todd could work a trade like that. It had to have taken talent or thrall. He'll never admit he's impressed.

[suey_generis]

"They were magic beans," the Immortal was explaining. "From the very first Starbucks. You have any idea how much money the guy made who figured out you could sell shitty coffee to people with too much disposable income and. . ."

He's been stalling for time, because he wasn't really expecting Angel to leave one of the riders for him. But Angel is busy with his foot on the other guy's throat, and the last rider lunges at the Immortal, and the Immortal stops stalling and pulls out the Browning and plugs two shots to the guy's head and two to the chest. The rider falls to his feet in front of the Immortal.

"Hmm, we're not going to be very popular with the powers that be, are we?" He pockets the gun and looks up. "At least we have horses." As he reaches out to take the reins of one, a thought hits him and he turns to Darla. "Oh, Starbucks, that reminds me. Have you been watching this Battlestar Galactica remake?" He pats the horse soothingly, and swings easily onto its back. "I never thought some blonde chick could replace Dirk Benedict, but she really pulls it off."