panicky
my pets have become the focus of my generalized anxiety.
i say this because i went to bed half an hour ago, only to hear my cat meowing, wake up, and be unable to sleep for fear that something may be wrong. i'm sitting in the living room now to keep an eye on them. i feel ridiculous, but i feel better out here. in bed, i felt like i was gasping for air.
worry is a terrible thing.
my nightmares lately are all about my cats. first i dream that everything is flooding; the water is rushing in the doors and windows, so i grab the cats and i run. in the next dream, we are on a train, and a bengal tiger is swiping at them. i grab them and run. in the next, there is a fire. i rush in and out of the burning house to carry them out; once out, i don't know what to do with them. sometimes i wrap them in sweaters; sometimes i find a small building that we hide in.
i frequently leave what i'm doing to make sure my cats are all present and accounted for. when i ride the bus, i hurry down our block to check that the front door hasn't blown open (my cats are inside only). i've always been protective of my pets, but i feel like this is nearing a full-blown disorder. it doesn't feel normal to lie awake at night worrying about cats only to fall asleep and dream about cat-disasters.
this is ridiculous.
i say this because i went to bed half an hour ago, only to hear my cat meowing, wake up, and be unable to sleep for fear that something may be wrong. i'm sitting in the living room now to keep an eye on them. i feel ridiculous, but i feel better out here. in bed, i felt like i was gasping for air.
worry is a terrible thing.
my nightmares lately are all about my cats. first i dream that everything is flooding; the water is rushing in the doors and windows, so i grab the cats and i run. in the next dream, we are on a train, and a bengal tiger is swiping at them. i grab them and run. in the next, there is a fire. i rush in and out of the burning house to carry them out; once out, i don't know what to do with them. sometimes i wrap them in sweaters; sometimes i find a small building that we hide in.
i frequently leave what i'm doing to make sure my cats are all present and accounted for. when i ride the bus, i hurry down our block to check that the front door hasn't blown open (my cats are inside only). i've always been protective of my pets, but i feel like this is nearing a full-blown disorder. it doesn't feel normal to lie awake at night worrying about cats only to fall asleep and dream about cat-disasters.
this is ridiculous.