Safe Word: Hillary
In the recent wake of another story about Donald Trump being a misogynist and totally degrading in his attitude toward women, it had me thinking. Can I really continue to sit here and detest this man, complaining that he isn't treating women respectfully and therefore he isn't fit to be President? That's already been said, in so many ways and by so many, myself included. Then I think about Hillary. How I'm voting for her essentially because I'm afraid of him. She has her flaws, as all politicians do, but I just feel safer with her as my choice, and I do believe she is well qualified for the job.
But is Hillary just our safe word? That really got me thinking. Trump scares us. He is by nature an intimidator, so in women, I believe his aggressive approach to everything challenges the essential core of what it means to be feminine. Some women respond positively to that aggression; they perceive it as strength, even if it occasionally gets out of control. So that had me thinking about the behaviors of women that have given rise to men of this kind. I listen to his sound clips, and I hear the women beside him, and even the men, laughing with him, going along with it, no female or other individual challenging his approach or his attitude - at least not on record.
This is a cultural tipping point, and part of this ship has already sailed completely. Too many women are busy multi-tasking their lives, responding to constant pressing commitments. But we need to wake up to the opportunity presented here. It's time to turn this dirty, disgusting election into a movement to address the way some men treat women AND the way we respond to that treatment. It isn't enough just to vote for Hillary. We owe our daughters a commitment to developing strong leadership, nurturing feminine strength, and encouraging social vulnerability.
I'm about to see the Dixie Chicks with my sister tonight, and when I grabbed my computer just now, my impulse was to post a clip of "Goodbye Earl" so I could share my excitement at my plans for tonight. But some people find "Goodbye Earl" offensive because violence is not the answer. Some people think the Dixie Chicks should have "shut up and sang" instead of using their voices on a giant stage in Texas to try and change the world. So many people shamed them for that, but I can think of more than a couple people who would relish the opportunity to declare their thoughts on a giant stage if given the chance. "Goodbye Earl" was an icon in its own right when it was released. It highlighted the number of domestic violences cases that go undetected, the number of women silenced by their partners, the level of oppression that drives a meek woman to commit atrocities. They got us to discuss that, for a minute. They touched on something that was in the pulse of music and American culture at the time and they gave the meek a voice. I was thinking about this and then I was thinking about Hillary, and how she is becoming that which we must accept as our voice, because listen to Donald's and the things he says, we can't have that! We think of our children, how they view the role of the President, and how there has to be someone better that we can bring them to look up to.
I want Hillary to be our first female President, because of what she will represent if and when that happens, but it isn't going to make me distinctly proud as a woman. Someone like the Dixie Chicks in office would make me proud. Someone who stands up to men like Trump with as open a ferocity as the things that are said about us behind our backs. I think about Elizabeth Warren, and I wonder which woman will have the guts to pick up the torch for her when she is gone. She truly sets the bar for a female role model, as her accomplishments and fighting spirit alone are what defines her to the public. She doesn't care about her image. She doesn't protect peoples' feelings when she says what she needs to say but she also would never hurt people just to pack a punch or make a headline. I think of other women I admire. People like my boss, who leads a growing team of woman and is always professional, always full of grace, and always approachable. These are truly good qualities. Things that sometimes Hillary lacks. and then I think of some of the men I know. Some men I dated who were very disrespectful in their treatment of me. Some I didn't date who were - or are - the same way. Men who say things they don't really mean. Who have no intention of backing their words with actions. Men who speak off the cuff about something important and then don't expect you to bring it up again. The complete lack of character and integrity demonstrated by men, who get away with it every day. They get away with it because too many of us are like Hillary and not like the Dixie Chicks. We want to remain poised, attractive, and popular, so we sometimes forego standing up to comments made by men, because, "All men do it." We date the A-holes anyway, even if our family and friends know we shouldn't. Rarely does anyone dialogue directly with the A-hole, but out of concern they'll pressure their darling girl to get rid of him.
I think of my time on Tinder and other dating apps, when men would send me completely unsolicited images of their private parts. I think of Anthony Weiner, and how disgusted people should have been, and weren't. I'm not just talking about behavior of men towards women, but their deplorable behavior in general. I think of the mayor of Toronto and how he was able to stay in office even after binging on hardcore drugs, hiring prostitutes and showing up to work stoned out of his mind. What kind of society allows this, and doesn't shut it down before it gets out of control?
We need a female intervention. We need a revolution in womanhood, again. We need to band together and agree to fight against this kind of behavior, the mistreatment, AND we need to actively protect each other from it. Together we need to bring down misogynists everywhere, and remind women that we have each others' back. To stop competing with each other. We need a pact that we will collectively block, ignore, and/or report the disgusting snapchats, that we will immediately DUMP the men who treat us like less than we deserve. We need to speak up, and we need to protect each other's vulnerability, and back a sister up when she is being oppressed.
We needed another Lilith Fair, months and months ago. But the acoustic guitars and hair over the shoulders was the last generation. Now we need to vent. We need angst, frustration, ROCK, and loud voices being heard, so we can produce progress. We needed this as women and we blew it. It won't happen for this election, and that is such a loss for the women of our time - and for music.
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it anyway.
But is Hillary just our safe word? That really got me thinking. Trump scares us. He is by nature an intimidator, so in women, I believe his aggressive approach to everything challenges the essential core of what it means to be feminine. Some women respond positively to that aggression; they perceive it as strength, even if it occasionally gets out of control. So that had me thinking about the behaviors of women that have given rise to men of this kind. I listen to his sound clips, and I hear the women beside him, and even the men, laughing with him, going along with it, no female or other individual challenging his approach or his attitude - at least not on record.
This is a cultural tipping point, and part of this ship has already sailed completely. Too many women are busy multi-tasking their lives, responding to constant pressing commitments. But we need to wake up to the opportunity presented here. It's time to turn this dirty, disgusting election into a movement to address the way some men treat women AND the way we respond to that treatment. It isn't enough just to vote for Hillary. We owe our daughters a commitment to developing strong leadership, nurturing feminine strength, and encouraging social vulnerability.
I'm about to see the Dixie Chicks with my sister tonight, and when I grabbed my computer just now, my impulse was to post a clip of "Goodbye Earl" so I could share my excitement at my plans for tonight. But some people find "Goodbye Earl" offensive because violence is not the answer. Some people think the Dixie Chicks should have "shut up and sang" instead of using their voices on a giant stage in Texas to try and change the world. So many people shamed them for that, but I can think of more than a couple people who would relish the opportunity to declare their thoughts on a giant stage if given the chance. "Goodbye Earl" was an icon in its own right when it was released. It highlighted the number of domestic violences cases that go undetected, the number of women silenced by their partners, the level of oppression that drives a meek woman to commit atrocities. They got us to discuss that, for a minute. They touched on something that was in the pulse of music and American culture at the time and they gave the meek a voice. I was thinking about this and then I was thinking about Hillary, and how she is becoming that which we must accept as our voice, because listen to Donald's and the things he says, we can't have that! We think of our children, how they view the role of the President, and how there has to be someone better that we can bring them to look up to.
I want Hillary to be our first female President, because of what she will represent if and when that happens, but it isn't going to make me distinctly proud as a woman. Someone like the Dixie Chicks in office would make me proud. Someone who stands up to men like Trump with as open a ferocity as the things that are said about us behind our backs. I think about Elizabeth Warren, and I wonder which woman will have the guts to pick up the torch for her when she is gone. She truly sets the bar for a female role model, as her accomplishments and fighting spirit alone are what defines her to the public. She doesn't care about her image. She doesn't protect peoples' feelings when she says what she needs to say but she also would never hurt people just to pack a punch or make a headline. I think of other women I admire. People like my boss, who leads a growing team of woman and is always professional, always full of grace, and always approachable. These are truly good qualities. Things that sometimes Hillary lacks. and then I think of some of the men I know. Some men I dated who were very disrespectful in their treatment of me. Some I didn't date who were - or are - the same way. Men who say things they don't really mean. Who have no intention of backing their words with actions. Men who speak off the cuff about something important and then don't expect you to bring it up again. The complete lack of character and integrity demonstrated by men, who get away with it every day. They get away with it because too many of us are like Hillary and not like the Dixie Chicks. We want to remain poised, attractive, and popular, so we sometimes forego standing up to comments made by men, because, "All men do it." We date the A-holes anyway, even if our family and friends know we shouldn't. Rarely does anyone dialogue directly with the A-hole, but out of concern they'll pressure their darling girl to get rid of him.
I think of my time on Tinder and other dating apps, when men would send me completely unsolicited images of their private parts. I think of Anthony Weiner, and how disgusted people should have been, and weren't. I'm not just talking about behavior of men towards women, but their deplorable behavior in general. I think of the mayor of Toronto and how he was able to stay in office even after binging on hardcore drugs, hiring prostitutes and showing up to work stoned out of his mind. What kind of society allows this, and doesn't shut it down before it gets out of control?
We need a female intervention. We need a revolution in womanhood, again. We need to band together and agree to fight against this kind of behavior, the mistreatment, AND we need to actively protect each other from it. Together we need to bring down misogynists everywhere, and remind women that we have each others' back. To stop competing with each other. We need a pact that we will collectively block, ignore, and/or report the disgusting snapchats, that we will immediately DUMP the men who treat us like less than we deserve. We need to speak up, and we need to protect each other's vulnerability, and back a sister up when she is being oppressed.
We needed another Lilith Fair, months and months ago. But the acoustic guitars and hair over the shoulders was the last generation. Now we need to vent. We need angst, frustration, ROCK, and loud voices being heard, so we can produce progress. We needed this as women and we blew it. It won't happen for this election, and that is such a loss for the women of our time - and for music.
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it anyway.