*sigh*
I have a problem of holding on to things, almost like hoarding. I buy too much stuff, and never clear out. I've looked into it online before and it's sometimes thought that someone who feels trapped in their own lives or don't see progression, hold on to objects unnecessarily. I'm sure I read that attachments get formed with such objects as a way to compensate for the feeling of disappointment in their lives. It has been noted that people who suffer depression can find it particularly difficult to give up objects.
In that area, I find it hard to clear out, and sometimes even clean up. I know I am such a pig, my whole family think that, because of the mess I have in my room. That should motivate me to get more organised, but it is just another reason to hate myself. I have always been a fat lazy pig, and that is never going to change. If people around me are disappointed about my lack of achievement in life, it is nothing to what I feel. I have never achieved anything in my life. I gave up college, I gave up driving, I have pretty much given up on a social life.
What is the point in trying. All I do is tread water. I got a chance to try and help do something I really enjoy at work, and nobody I've told gives a shit. That after months of working my arse off, and proving myself, I am getting back to a place where I don't feel like a useless lump of shit. But nobody cares. Not even a 'that's cool'. And that sucks, I am feel alone and can't be the only one trying to support me anymore.
Hate feeling like this. Going to try and make things better, I'm sick of being a disappointment. I just don't know where to start. It's probably not even worth the effort.
In that area, I find it hard to clear out, and sometimes even clean up. I know I am such a pig, my whole family think that, because of the mess I have in my room. That should motivate me to get more organised, but it is just another reason to hate myself. I have always been a fat lazy pig, and that is never going to change. If people around me are disappointed about my lack of achievement in life, it is nothing to what I feel. I have never achieved anything in my life. I gave up college, I gave up driving, I have pretty much given up on a social life.
What is the point in trying. All I do is tread water. I got a chance to try and help do something I really enjoy at work, and nobody I've told gives a shit. That after months of working my arse off, and proving myself, I am getting back to a place where I don't feel like a useless lump of shit. But nobody cares. Not even a 'that's cool'. And that sucks, I am feel alone and can't be the only one trying to support me anymore.
Hate feeling like this. Going to try and make things better, I'm sick of being a disappointment. I just don't know where to start. It's probably not even worth the effort.