May 17, 2011 22:33
Its mothers day
Well, it was. And you can see how verbose I was about it. it wasn't a bad day. Gavin ended up coming to visit me. Saying that he chewed some of his friends out for not taking full advantage of their LIVING mothers. I appreciated the sentiment greatly. The ensminger family was guilty as well of taking DrAnn for granted. She made a small scene about it and i backed her up. Made an emotional ass of myself. Yeah. That's the way it goes I suppose. There are a few days that no matter where I have gone, what i am doing with my life, or who I have become. those days will always be hard. I guess thats how you know you stillcare?
On top of these days the birthdays of three of my family members... the anniversary of her death, my brothers marital strife, my continued distance from my father this amazing upwelling of friends in my life. the hopeless pursuits of beautiful women...exhaustion and some failing health.. BROKE. Art invading every corner of my life. Adventure awaiting me... the need for an education..rejection...poetry...cats..piling dead puppies in black trash bags..painting an urn for a friend's dog, Lexi. the defective yorkie.
I can't quit now. My phoenix is scheduled for this Sunday. I will be a phoenix. You might want to shield your eyes. The flames can be bright. The feathers and droplets of rain will fall in my wake for days. The flame I have inside refuses to die.
in the deep
Where it remains swathed in my immense dark.
thick dead flesh killing
suffocating yet always
persistently how i dont know why
there is a flicker
stay away feather eater
dont come any closer
i can smell your rot from here.
your crooked smile was not my first
warning sign.
You are no longer deviant
you are a threat
I sensed your void from miles away.
A hurricane
A wraith.
You are so beautiful
man or woman. Though you tend toward the feminine.
Black widow
if its not yourself then you opt for cannibalism.
what do you attempt to gain when you eat your own
a magical potion, inebriation, consumption
with in the carcass of your fragile obsession.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, caucasian.
sugary sweet and ripe for the picking.
FEATHER EATER.
boretry,
when you really love a woman,
bore-e-try