His name was Alexander;
Another suicide just over a week ago. A young man in the SCA who became known to all of us as Blueberry.
He was a sweet fellow...a lot goofy, smiling, generous, kind to children and animals. Everyone liked him. At least it seemed that way.
I don't know what his personal demons were. I didn't know him that well. But since then a lot of people have talked about their feelings on suicide.
It hits a lot of buttons for me because of Rob. People are saying 'Don't be shy to reach out. If you need someone, I'm here. Please don't suffer alone".
Even though some people say they get it...they really don't. Rob knew he had people, but he shut them out. He knew we were there to catch him.
The GREAT LIE
-no matter how often someone tells you "they're there for you"...you don't feel that they are
-it doesn't matter that they tell you that they love you, you don't feel it
-you can't trust anyone
-you are alone
-you can't....anything
-the pain is overwhelming
-everything has happened which has made you feel this way is like water at a rolling boil on your brain
....and some of that is the very people who have said "I'm here for you".
What I want to say:
By the time you recognize they need help, it's too late.
By the time it happens, they've already died a thousand deaths in their mind
You've already done the thing...or not done the thing....that set them on this path.
The very best thing to do:
Be the actor. Be the initiator. Show up, and be present. If you love someone, or miss them, or think "maybe they need some help"....show up, and make it happen.
Sitting back and expecting somone who is going through all this shit to reach out to you....yeah, not gonna happen.
When someone says that, I feel even more alone.
He was a sweet fellow...a lot goofy, smiling, generous, kind to children and animals. Everyone liked him. At least it seemed that way.
I don't know what his personal demons were. I didn't know him that well. But since then a lot of people have talked about their feelings on suicide.
It hits a lot of buttons for me because of Rob. People are saying 'Don't be shy to reach out. If you need someone, I'm here. Please don't suffer alone".
Even though some people say they get it...they really don't. Rob knew he had people, but he shut them out. He knew we were there to catch him.
The GREAT LIE
-no matter how often someone tells you "they're there for you"...you don't feel that they are
-it doesn't matter that they tell you that they love you, you don't feel it
-you can't trust anyone
-you are alone
-you can't....anything
-the pain is overwhelming
-everything has happened which has made you feel this way is like water at a rolling boil on your brain
....and some of that is the very people who have said "I'm here for you".
What I want to say:
By the time you recognize they need help, it's too late.
By the time it happens, they've already died a thousand deaths in their mind
You've already done the thing...or not done the thing....that set them on this path.
The very best thing to do:
Be the actor. Be the initiator. Show up, and be present. If you love someone, or miss them, or think "maybe they need some help"....show up, and make it happen.
Sitting back and expecting somone who is going through all this shit to reach out to you....yeah, not gonna happen.
When someone says that, I feel even more alone.