My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie UPDATED 1-01-10
Once upon a time there was a work of fanfiction on the internet that was made by a very strange and ridiculous sort of person named Tara Gilesbie living in Dubai. (According to her.) She put it up on fanfiction.net and it was an instant failure. I say failure, it was a failure as a normal work of fiction, but it was a total success in making everyone who saw it utterly offended by the sheer amount of WTFery involved in it and wretched spelling and grammar. (Grammar? What's Grammar?) It was the very first thing I sporked, which I had found off of Deletrius. Since then, I have moved on to other things outside of the Harry Potter universe, but I can never escape this fic.
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way goes to Hogwarts and she is a vampire/witch who's a "goff" and she looks like Amy Lee from Evanescence and crushes hard on Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance so much she even wishes she was related to him. (Given purebloods being the nicer way of saying backwoods, inbred, redneck...) She runs into Draco Malfoy, who is suddenly "goff" as well and grown his hair out and got a dye job and wearing red contacts and depressed to be forced into this masterpiece, and they say hello and move on. We are then introduced to Willow who is the insert of Tara's friend Raven (bloodytearz666 or Eternity's writer) and then we get Draco and her going off to a Good Charlotte concert in Hogsmeade and screwing in the Forbidden Forest afterward.
What ensues through this fic is pretty much every character that could be considered halfway cool on their own is suddenly changed to being a "goff" and a "stanist". (Don't even get me started on poor Harry, Ron and Hermione who got fucked royally in the ass.) Ebony goes back in time through the pensieve to mess with Tom--I mean Satan--and she ends up being saved by Marty McFly from Back To The Future in his Delorian. It's all so damn surreal that I'm not entirely certain how someone can think like this. It isn't like HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH which is so fucking surreal that it surpasses the horrible point and becomes fucking awesome again. Instead, this story just remains a testament of all things terrible in fanfiction and should continue to be used as a reference of what you should NOT do with a story to make it actually good.
While the story was up I had seen some of the best comments in the world in the reviews. People were actually role playing the characters and leaving notes in the review section. There was a Lord Voldemort that was fucking hilarious, but the James was the best. Now, the fic has been taken down and we are thus left with the memory of it. However, thankfully, some nice people have reposted it elsewhere. I was very glad for this because it allowed me to screenshot the rest of the story. This fic actually made me completely unable to even look at My Chemical Romance or Evanescence for the longest time. It took a year and a half to two years before I ever touched My Chemical Romance and found they weren't that bad and I've yet to really get back into Evanescence. They say doing this doesn't affect you; believe me, it does.
My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie
B'loody Mary Smith (Hermione), Willow, Draco, Ebony, Vampire (Harry), Diablo (Ron), and Satan (Tom Riddle).
Profile: 2006 , 2009
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12: 1 2 3
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16: 1 2 3
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20: 1 2
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32: 1 2
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35: 1 2
Chapter 36
Chapter 37: 1 2
Chapter 38: 1 2
Chapter 39: 1 2 3 4
Chapter 39 B: 1 2
Chapter 40: 1 2
Chapter 41: 1 2 3 4
Chapter 42: 1 2
Chapter 43: 1 2
The crew has been welcomed to destroy this themselves if they want. Crewman Kay has expressed an interest in it. Navigator Amanda probably won't. Bo'sun Lex is questionable. First Mate Rae won't be doing it. As for me. This is done.
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way goes to Hogwarts and she is a vampire/witch who's a "goff" and she looks like Amy Lee from Evanescence and crushes hard on Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance so much she even wishes she was related to him. (Given purebloods being the nicer way of saying backwoods, inbred, redneck...) She runs into Draco Malfoy, who is suddenly "goff" as well and grown his hair out and got a dye job and wearing red contacts and depressed to be forced into this masterpiece, and they say hello and move on. We are then introduced to Willow who is the insert of Tara's friend Raven (bloodytearz666 or Eternity's writer) and then we get Draco and her going off to a Good Charlotte concert in Hogsmeade and screwing in the Forbidden Forest afterward.
What ensues through this fic is pretty much every character that could be considered halfway cool on their own is suddenly changed to being a "goff" and a "stanist". (Don't even get me started on poor Harry, Ron and Hermione who got fucked royally in the ass.) Ebony goes back in time through the pensieve to mess with Tom--I mean Satan--and she ends up being saved by Marty McFly from Back To The Future in his Delorian. It's all so damn surreal that I'm not entirely certain how someone can think like this. It isn't like HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH which is so fucking surreal that it surpasses the horrible point and becomes fucking awesome again. Instead, this story just remains a testament of all things terrible in fanfiction and should continue to be used as a reference of what you should NOT do with a story to make it actually good.
While the story was up I had seen some of the best comments in the world in the reviews. People were actually role playing the characters and leaving notes in the review section. There was a Lord Voldemort that was fucking hilarious, but the James was the best. Now, the fic has been taken down and we are thus left with the memory of it. However, thankfully, some nice people have reposted it elsewhere. I was very glad for this because it allowed me to screenshot the rest of the story. This fic actually made me completely unable to even look at My Chemical Romance or Evanescence for the longest time. It took a year and a half to two years before I ever touched My Chemical Romance and found they weren't that bad and I've yet to really get back into Evanescence. They say doing this doesn't affect you; believe me, it does.
My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie
B'loody Mary Smith (Hermione), Willow, Draco, Ebony, Vampire (Harry), Diablo (Ron), and Satan (Tom Riddle).
Profile: 2006 , 2009
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12: 1 2 3
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16: 1 2 3
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20: 1 2
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32: 1 2
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35: 1 2
Chapter 36
Chapter 37: 1 2
Chapter 38: 1 2
Chapter 39: 1 2 3 4
Chapter 39 B: 1 2
Chapter 40: 1 2
Chapter 41: 1 2 3 4
Chapter 42: 1 2
Chapter 43: 1 2
The crew has been welcomed to destroy this themselves if they want. Crewman Kay has expressed an interest in it. Navigator Amanda probably won't. Bo'sun Lex is questionable. First Mate Rae won't be doing it. As for me. This is done.