...and Rave (part 1)

[sue_yin]

I AM SO SORRY...it going to be a Rant and Rave. It annoys me that there's so much frustration and rage coming from two environment, one being the film training and the other part time job. Hence it has turn into a Rant and Rave. Film training isn't too bad but I'm getting influence from the lads - constant moaning but to be quite honest Thursday at 1700hrs was the first time M.C. got to me so I disagree everything that the lads has said.
Part time job, it's all built up over time. Today, I considered changing environment but is it worth it? I'm changing because I'm annoyed and not enjoying anymore. If I change, I need a job who is looking for a weekday and either a Saturday or Sunday contract, requires minimum thinking, no targets, give me 2 - 3 weeks off for the EIFF and placement. I know at the end of the day it's only a job but I need to think of the finance. To endure it one day is stressful, two days in a row is irritating, three or more days a week is soul destroying. So anyone want my CV? Right so why is my job annoying me, I'm just going to list it so much easier.

and so the rave begins
First of all, it feels so good to hear that E.M. feels picked on. At first I always thought it was Keowan and myself who gets a hard time but it isn't. Collectively we think,

• HIT OR MISS. if they are in a good mood then life is good but when they aren't they will make the day a living hell (pinning you down if you didn't do something, that kind of thing).
• DOUBLE STANDARD. I was talking C.T. for less than 5mins and I got pulled for it yet the person who pulled me up was talking to her friend for 10+ mins. Management not hitting target therefore re-jig it so they don't look so bad.
  
• IT'S ALL RELATIVE. One of the girls is roommate to a management member. She turns up 10mins before her shift starts in jeans so she'll need to change and that's fine. When did that I got pulled up. Another time, I was on the shopfloor 10mins before the store open to get the window ready, she was still in the staff room talking away and 'helped' me when the store opened. I did that and got pulled up. She's always in the staffroom talking away - one time I caught her away from the shopfloor leaving me by myself for 20mins. What's the deal with that!
• FAVOURITISM? One of the girls was going out and the management let her out early. I told them that I was going out so I was hoping that I would be able to get changed whilst they were closing. They ignored me. I had to rush. Moreover, I was told to do this and that. Here's another incident, the management wanted to leave on the dot but I needed to get changed because I was going out and she was complaining and hinting that I should've told her so I then they would arrange for me to get changed early. I did tell her but she never listen.
• EXPECTATION. I'm expected to made target whilst being told to take the rubbish away and clean the staffroom. How does that work? I'm always expected to do stuff. It annoys me for two reason, I'm doing this and that whilst the other girls stands and chat, the other reason is that I get pulled for my rubbish sales. Another thing, I'm doing less hours but getting a higher target than someone doing more hours because I'm expected to be able to hit it when I having being able to. How does that work?
  
• REWARDS AND PUNISHMENT. When Keowan and I get an amazing sales it's called Luck. When someone else does that, it's praised. We're failing, we are asked why, can we say it was luck. No. We get hounded for not hitting target.
  

I honestly believe that some people are born with luck. L.S. has a father who would drive to Glasgow to get her, drive back home and then get up at 5am to take her to an interview for 9am. She gets away with a lot of stuff even when I cleaned it up and wanted a message passed on to her to say she's doing it wrong. She has people looking out job opportunities for her. She's staying with a member of the management who's family pretty much adopted her. It's fine for her to cut her lunch hour so she could leave early. What have I got? I am simply not born with luck, I put 150% just to get 75%, sometimes it just kills me to hear what her family would do to support her. Same goes to Keowan, her dad would get up 7am to drive her to work for 10am. I'll admit it, I'm jealous.

That'll do, I'm depressed like looking at the weather - black clouds waiting to cry (except for some odd reason I'm tired). Do you know, I don't give a toss, to put it nicely. I want Ben & Jerry. I want to grow wings to jump out and fly. I want to speak to yellow custard man - I want to talk to you. But it's me so I won't be allowed.