A Long Way from Home: Chapter Twelve

[doodasnapefreak]

Chapter XII

Harry watched from the corner of his eye as Ron fired a hex at Draco Malfoy. He nearly missed the results, however, as his own spell seemed to crash into a barrier ahead of him, sending flashes of blinding white light in all directions. Ron’s spell seemed to hit its target, and it seemed to accomplish two objectives: Ginny floated into the air, still unconscious and Malfoy fell forward, stiff as a boardboner.

“Honestly, Ron!” Hermione hissed, turning into a snake rolling her eyes. Harry reached over to grab her hand, holding his wand in his left hand.

“I didn’t realize you were such a willing volunteer, Mr. Weasley.” The cloaked figure that had been standing next to Tynan Lahey stepped forward and removed his hood.

Caphis Lahey was nearly sixty-five and completely bald. He stood nearly six inches taller than his son and was very thin. I'm going to imagine him looking like Patrick Stewart. It's more fun that way. Harry was strangely reminded of old drawings of the Druids; Caphis’ white beard was long enough to tuck into his belt. Stealing from JKR? I wouldn't do that if I were you. It pisses me off. His deceptively friendly face had been at the forefrontskin of Lahey Publishing for years - he had seemed wise and knowing in countless pictures, Harry had thought. But he knew better - he had read the reports on Caphis Lahey and knew of his shadowy behavior behind the scenes.

“If you would, please hand your wands over to my associate, Mr. Danforth. They will be useless to you now.”

“Do not touch that traitor hot piece of ass. He's all mine,” Tynan spat out. Hermione was leaning down to check on Malfoy as Ron began saying rude things about Mr. Danforth’s mother.

“Ron,” Harry said quietly, pulling his friend into a passionate kiss back from the edge of the small platform they had stepped onto upon entering the room. He paused for a moment to look around and nearly gasped. Each of the missing Hogwarts students was grouped around the platform in a perfect circle; they were all unconscious and floating silently in mid-air. The dais that he was standing on with Hermione, Ron and Draco stretched into a long stone walkway and it connected to another stage-like structure where the Laheys were standing. I don't care. I don't care if they are having an orgy at Stonehenge. Just please, end this abomination of a fic.

The members of the Brotherhood were stationed throughout the room, some backed against the stone walls making out and the others interspersed amongst the children. Bad touch! BAD TOUCH! He and his friends were, of course, completely surrounded by the cloaked figures.

After looking carefully around, he turned his attention to the elder Lahey and stepped forward, stopping once his group was safely behind him.

“Break the spell on my friend. He must experience love's true kiss, and only you can do that!”

Lahey’s grey eyes twinkled, but not in the friendly manner of Dumbledore. Lahey looked somewhat mad, with a slight wickedness about him. Really? Good thing you told us that, because I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EVIL. His son, who was glaring at Harry with fierce, blue balls eyes, seemed tensed and full of adrenaline. Harry didn’t make eye contact with Tynan, instead keeping his attention focused solely on Caphis.

Hermione offers to do anything as long as Lahey lets the children go. Then it all gets really trippy, and not in a good way.

Lahey and his Brothers, however, felt like vacuums to her heightened senses. She could physically see them, but they registered no presence otherwise.

“What have you done to me, Lahey?” she asked, her voice ethereal and airy.

“I have returned you to your higher plane of existence,” he replied thoughtfully, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Of course, that further trigged knowledge in her head. This was what she had accepted so many years ago in her quest with Harry. This was the burden she had accepted, they had accepted, to defeat Voldemort. Their mentors had taught them, pulled them through at times, and had finally bequeathed them with this power and this curse. WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS GOING ON.

All it took was a simple glance and she was able to see so much. She looked, finally, towards her oldest friends and felt tears well in her eyes. She saw their private parts pains and fears; she was able to anticipate their struggles. It was not with the distinct, theatrical eye of a seer that she saw this, it was simply known to her, as plainly as she could recall her multiplication tables or the alphabet. It was a strange and yet familiar feeling. McGonagall, she knew now, had only taught her enough to harness the power she needed to help Harry. The rest had gone untaught, viewed by some foreign and unknown body to be unnecessary in the coming times. You know what, Suethor? If you want to give your characters weird mystical powers, write in another fandom. Or make up your own. DO NOT INFEST HARRY POTTER WITH THIS.

Caphis was attempting to open the floodgates; a slow trickle of pee awareness had become a deluge. He had taken away the keystone of the strong mental barriers that kept her, and perhaps those around her, safe. Hermione = Jean Grey/Phoenix? He had brought her to the most powerful place, for her, in all of England. He had bound her within a circle of large, oval stones in the very middle of Avebury, in that ancient place, where the earliest witches and wizards developed and molded their magic. They had wild orgies educated themselves here, passing on their extensive and new knowledge of boning reverently to the next generations. She felt the magical power stirring around her; saw it in the gold burned into every surface. She saw finally, the burden and the blessing in all its glory. She gasped and was suddenly seized by the desperate need to weep. Well, that makes two of us. The aftershocks of harsh betrayal rushed through her as she remembered moments of the years gone by.

I can't really figure this out. Lahey has some weird scheme to make magic more powerful or something?

“That’s ridiculous, on entirely too many levels. You’re making wild assumptions about the state of magic if there were no Muggle genetic influence THERE IS NONE. STOP TRYING TO APPLY YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GENETICS LESSONS TO THE WORLD OF HARRY POTTER and you’re carrying on about Muggle technology as if we regularly work spells to make computers use the Internet.”

Caphis stared at her blankly for several moments before speaking again. “There is no need to debate this; I’m drawing on work so detailed you couldn’t even dream of it, let alone understand it. Wow. That's a cop-out if I've ever heard one. It’s beyond your reach, even in this heightened awareness. Our worlds are too intertwined; I do not seek to eradicate Muggleborns or persecute half bloods, Miss Granger. I want to purify them.”

Hermione blinked before putting her hands on her hips. “That’s outrageous. There’s nothing you could ever do to convince me that it’s right.”

Caphis smiled again, wickedly this time, before flicking his wand at Ron and Harry. She turned and watched as her friends, both bound to large stone pillars, began to writhe and silently dance scream. They each struggled against their bonds, driving the magical ropes deep into their skin. She saw blood seeping through the white, rune-covered rope and watched, horrifiedaroused, as they twisted and turned.

“Stop!” she cried, her airy voice echoing oddly in the stone circle. She held her hand up, sending a protective shield over them with a simple wave. THIS IS NOT HARRY POTTER MAGIC. I HATE YOU, SUETHOR.

Caphis turned to face her and she met his gaze, trying to hide her true motivations.

“Do as you must. Release them, and do as you must.”

Blah blah blah. I still don't understand what is happening.

When it dissipated, Hermione was no longer imprisoned within the light, but seemed to have absorbed it. The very tips of her hair shimmered with the light and it outlined her in a fine mist. I hope she's glowing because she's radioactive and is going to KILL EVERYONE.

She was standing on the platform now, arms raised above her head towards the sky. She was doing the macarena facing the Laheys, her back turned to Harry and Ron, but he still felt chills move through him just looking at her.

Lahey is treating Hermione like a goddess or something, asking her to purify magic. This is the strangest shit I have ever read.

From nowhere, there was the sound of laughter, surrounding them and filtering amongst all of those gathered around them. Ron remembered a laugh from a different time, a different dark wizard. Voldemort had always sounded mad O RLY?; a slight lunacy edged his voice, making everything seem like some weird movie. WHAT BOOKS DID YOU READ? This laughter wasn’t just edged in madness, it simply was. It swelled around them, in volume and density, until Ron felt as if someone was laughing inside his head. There was another flash and all that strange inky darkness was pulled back, sucked right into the air space a few feet in front of Hermione. If I break my capslock key, I blame you, Suethor.

From the darkness, Ron saw now that it was the exact opposite of the light that shimmered around Hermione, Lahey appeared, shrouded in an otherworldly cloak of it. There was the world around Lahey and there was the void that surrounded him. Hermione hadn’t so much as twitched during the entire thing, but a quick glance at Harry revealed that his other best friend was beyond bewildered. Oh, I moved beyond bewildered a while ago. Now I'm just wondering if someone slipped some acid into my coffee this morning.

Lahey, of course, was still laughing like a madman. He had his head thrown back, arms stretched out slightly at his sides. Psh. What an amateur. Pros never unleash their evil laughter until AFTER their plans have been brought to fruition. He raised his hands to his face, watching as the blackness flowed around him. Finally, he turned his gaze to Hermione and smirked.

“You were wrong,” he stated simply.

“No.” She continued to stare right at him, her arms limp at her sides, still waiting patiently.

Lahey pushed his hands outward from his chest, thrusting them in the direction of Hermione. Ron heard Harry cry out as the black jet of magic struck Hermione in the chest. Ron watched in horror, but was honestly more surprised when Hermione didn’t so much as sway. GAAAAAAH. WHY IS IT NOT ENOUGH TO JUST WRITE ABOUT THE AWESOME CHARACTER THAT JKR CREATED. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GIVE HER SUE-PER POWERS? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?

The results of his spell seemed to surprise Lahey equally as it had Ron, for he immediately thrust his pelvis a different hex towards Hermione, the madness in his eyes replaced by pure rage.

Again, Hermione merely stood, facing him, as she absorbed the magic. In a fit of fury, Lahey began firing spell after spell at her, but she merely watched him, occasionally raising her eyebrow slightly. AWEOPBAFDKNAREGOIHW4EPOALHAGKJNDARHWAEOHYAREGKJHSDAFLDIUFSEHAUHADFSKJDALGDNG

After several more spells hit her, Hermione held up her hand, sending the final blast back towards Lahey. It struck him firmly in the chest and he stumbled backwards, clutching the front of his robes.

“You were wrong,” Hermione said simply. NO, WHAT'S WRONG IS THAT THIS STORY EXISTS

Lahey lifted his head to look at her and Ron watched in amazement as a look of fear began to creep across his face. Something seemed to be happening with his eyes; they were rolling around inside of his head, a blur of white. He screamed, and for the umpteenth time that evening, it was completely unlike anything Ron had ever heard. Well, you're going to be hearing a lot more of that screaming when I KILL EVERYONE.

Lahey crumpled to the ground, rolling back and forth. He writhed and shrieked, as Hermione stood over him, still emotionless and silent. Finally, Lahey was still, curled in a fetal position at Hermione’s feet.

“You can see it, can’t you? The pain? The destruction? The steaming pile of shit that is this fic? Do you finally see?”

Inexplicably, Ron felt his feet beginning to shuffle forward, closer to Hermione. Harry too seemed to be moving, as if they were both drawn right to the center of the action by instinct.

Hermione had finally moved to kneel down next to Lahey’s head. She was looking right into his eyes, which had finally stopped spinning. He seemed to gaze up at her and Ron saw something else in his eyes. Several Muggle movies seemed to feature the odd shot of images moving in the pupils of someone’s eyes and the same thing was happening to Lahey. My brain hurts. This story is so stupid that it is causing me physical pain. Of course, that might be a side effect from all the facepalming I've been doing. He saw that Lahey, in fact, was not looking at Hermione at all. He was looking beyond her, watching the images flashing before him.

“You have what desire, Lahey. You have the ability to see and to know. Do you, then, see? The death? The sickness? Can you smell the stench, Lahey? Everything you wish for is so trivial, do you see that now?” Why is Hermione talking like there is a log of pretentiousness shoved up her ass?

Through the entirety of her statement, Hermione remained calm; her voice had almost a soothing tone. Her words and her tenor sent shivers down his spine as he slowly began to understand what was happening. Lahey had asked for the ability to know, the ability to alter the world around him. He had been granted that wish; Hermione had transferred just a little bit of their combined powers to the dark wizard and Ron was watching as Lahey was crushed beneath the weight of it. No. Harry was able to defeat Voldemort because of love, not because he and his friends had ridiculous powers. THAT IS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE SERIES, AND IF YOU DIDN'T GET THAT, YOU SHOULD GO READ TWILIGHT. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE PROBABLY THE REASON WHY SMEYER FEELS THE NEED TO BLUDGEON HER READERS WITH HER GREAT SYMBOLOGY.

A strange, animalistic cry ripped through the air and Lahey begin to twist wildly on the ground. Hermione stepped back as the inky darkness that hovered around Caphis begin to undulate. Slowly, fissures of golden light began to appear in the darkness and more screams filled the air. The wizards of the Brotherhood began to cry out, and several tried to move closer to the center of the circle.

Blah blah blah. There is fighting. I hope everyone dies.

As a group, they were able to gain the upper hand quickly enough. Soon after, they had taken down all but Tynan Lahey.

Harry stood with his wand at Lahey’s throat. Tynan was gasping for breath and looked wildly at the five wizards surrounding him. He focused on Hermione and hissed through his teeth.

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya Tynan Lahey. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Hermione remained silent as she glanced between Harry and Tynan. Tynan cried out suddenly, sounding like a strange beast before a familiar popping sound filled the air. The evil popcorn had returned, and slaughtered them all with its buttery deliciousness. Within moments, they were set upon by the other members of their team. Neville touched ground first, but his stunning spell wasn’t quick enough.

Tynan Lahey grinned at Harry before Apparating away.

Blah blah blah. More fighting.

He pulled Andie closer to him in a tight hug and sighed as her familiar form curled into him. He closed his eyes momentarily, breathing in her familiar and comforting scent. He lifted his head to look once more at everything going on around him. Ginny and Malfoy were standing close together, not touching, but still talking heatedly. Seriously, that came out of NOWHERE. He saw his parents standing together, talking to the eldest of the Hogwarts students. Ron watched over Andie’s shoulder as Hermione tugged Harry off to the side. She whispered at him furtively before lifting her wand…

“Hermione?” Ron called out, turning away from Andie, propelled by something indescribable. Ginny turned after a moment, following his gaze. Malfoy stepped next to her and opened his mouth to speak…

“Hermione?!” Ron called again, louder this time. He saw her wand twitch ever so slightly. Harry stumbled back a bit, blinking several times. He looked towards Ron, confusion flashing across his face before he shook his head.

Ron looked at Hermione again, who had finally turned to face him.

He didn’t hear the spell, but he saw her lips move.

Obliviate.

Well, I'm still confused. But it's all over (THANK GOD). Thanks for sticking around. Here, have an adorable baby ferret:




Chapter XI ~ Table of Contents