Hogwarts Overexposed: Spitefics
Sibling Rage by tangerine_sama
Suddenly, Emily stopped walking and turned back in their direction. "That was so humiliating," she said crossly. "I can't believe the two of you actually dragged me out of Roger's shop. I'll never be able to face him again."-
Caitlin stopped in her tracks when she heard her supposed sister say that.
"It was humliating that we got you away from that pedophile?" she asked coldly, the mushroom cloud of her anger boiling over at that statement. "Yes, it's horrible that we dragged you away from a twenty year old who asked you to flash him in exchange for ice cream." Caitlin started to walk away from her sister, who merely stared after her in shock before sprinting to catch up with the furious girl, while Kim just followed silently, watching the exchange without actually trying to take part in it.
"He didn't, he just wanted to see my bathing suit," Emily defended, in her usual just-do-what-I-say nature that Caitlin found to be more of an annoyance than anything else.
"And you gave him a show, I bet you even enjoyed it!" Caitlin said, her anger simply growing while her sister put her hands on her hips, and Caitlin knew that Emily was going to throw one of her tantrums.
"Are you saying that I planned on flashing him?! That I purposely got rid of the concealment charm? That I was supposed to know that he would like me? He isn't a pervert, I think he's sweet," Emily said, and Caitlin clenched her fists, and resisted the urge to punch her sister as hard as she possibly could for being so stupid.
"No, what I AM saying is that you didn't tell him no, you didn't say that that was wrong, you just went along with it because that's just how you are!" Caitlin knew she was getting the attention of everyone around her, but at this point, she didn't care. "Even though you're twelve years old, and he SHOULDN'T be looking at you that way, you went along with it, because you just love attention! You have always been like that!" Kim continued to watch the two, shock in her eyes as she hadn't thought that Caitlin could ever yell at Emily, the two seemed almost inseparable, but now, now she could see the pent up rage that Caitlin held for her sister.
"Are you calling me a whore?" Emily said, quitely now, probably trying her damnedest to make Caitlin feel bad about yelling at her. "Is that really what you think of me?" she asked, and although Caitlin knew she should feel bad about yelling at Emily, she found that this little display only annoyed her more.
"You know what? That's exactly what I'm telling you," she said, and Emily blinked, open mouthed. She had expected that her sister would instantly feel sorry for her, because that's how Caitlin is. "I'm telling you that because it seems to be the only thing that you can understand. You are a tart, not only because you like parading around naked in front of everyone, but because you WANTED him to look at you! Are you just so stupid that you can't figure out that it's WRONG for him to be attracted to you! He's TWENTY, or did that never cross Emily's bubble of self importance?" Caitlin said mockingly, and took a deep breath to calm herself down before storming off, because she knew that if she stayed she'd only do some more damage. Emily stared after her sister, and looked back at Kim, who wanted no part of that exchange.
And for the first time, she was speechless.
Swish and Flick by doodasnapefreak (This isn't directly related to Hogwarts Overexposed, but the constant Ron-bashing inspired it.)
Harry Potter was having a very bad day. It had all started the previous night, when he had decided to consummate his relationship with the love of his life, Ginny Weasley. Well, maybe she wasn't the love of his life, but he liked her a lot, and it seemed like a good time to take their relationship to the next level.
It had not gone well. In fact, Harry reflected bitterly, the whole ordeal had been a disaster from start to finish. The candles dripped wax all over the sheets, and when he tried to levitate them, there had been a flash of light and a small explosion that left Ginny dazed and slightly singed, and not at all impressed. As to what had happened after that…well, he preferred not to think about that.
At least he had Quidditch practice today, he thought. He hoped it would help him forget the kindness in Ginny's voice when she had reassured him that she didn't mind, and that she had expected their first time to be awkward.
When he got to the pitch, it was empty. No, not completely empty. Ron was already there, looping around the goalposts on a broom Harry didn't recognize.
“Harry!” Ron sounded surprised to see him. “Didn't McGonagall tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Was sex against the rules at Hogwarts? Had his night of disappointment with Ginny been an egregious enough offense to get him banned from the team?
“I'm the new seeker, Harry,” Ron said smoothly. “I'm also the new chaser and the new beater. I'm playing all seven positions, and just look at this broom Dumbledore bought me! It's a Firebus 3000! It combines the best features of the Firebolt and the Nimbus series. You should feel the handling on it, it's incredible!”
Harry managed to find his way back to the common room in a haze of confusion and sadness. He was so distracted that he barely noticed when a leather-clad Snape tried to grab his crotch in an empty corridor. What was going on? Was this an elaborate prank dreamed up by Ginny as payback for his poor performance?
By the end of the day, he was only mildly startled when Professor Dumbledore, clad in a skin-tight ballgown, summoned him to his office. Ron and Ginny were already there, and they were both--there was no other word for it--glowing. There was an unmistakable aura of power surrounding them.
“Harry!” Dumbledore's voice was indecently happy. “You look so lost! So confused! Let me explain everything to you, for I have changed my ways, and will no longer deal in secrecy.
“Late last night, you performed an ancient and extremely potent spell. Suffice it to say that things have changed at Hogwarts. You may have noticed that you are no longer afflicted by that troublesome scar.”
Harry had not noticed. Whatever else had changed, he was still not in the habit of staring at himself in a mirror.
“You are no longer the Chosen One,” Dumbledore informed him calmly. “Miss Weasley is. Oh, don't worry--her life is in no danger whatsoever! You see, Mr. Weasley has destroyed all the horcruxes with a spell of his own invention. This spell also allowed him to destroy the fragment of Voldemort's soul that previously resided in your body. Voldemort himself will die as soon as Mr. Weasley has finished publicly humiliating him.
“By his recent actions, Mr. Weasley has shown himself to be more than capable of taking over for me, so I will be retiring to spend some time with Gelly.”
As Harry and Ron made their way back to Gryffindor tower (Ginny had been waylaid by a group of fangirls), Harry wondered what else would go wrong, and prayed that McGonagall hadn't become a nudist or anything like that.
It was worse. Much, much worse.
Hermione was waiting for them just outside the Fat Lady. She was clad in silver and green robes that left very little to the imagination, and her hair was sleek and blonde.
“I've switched houses,” she told them angrily. “I've become a Slytherin. Only the noble Serpents truly understand me.”
“SLYTHERIN?” Ron shouted, his face turning red. Harry was relieved to hear that Ron sounded like himself, and nothing like the suave superhero he'd sounded like earlier. “Hermione, you know how they are about Muggleborns! You'll never get a fair shot!”
“I'D RATHER BE A MUDBLOOD THAN A MUDBRAIN LIKE THE TWO OF YOU!” Hermione screamed. “YOU JUST WANT TO CONTROL ME! WELL, CONTROL THIS!”
She tore off her robes dramatically and stormed off.
“Merlin's pants, Harry, what spell did you use last night?” Ron asked, staring at Hermione's retreating ass. “We need to find a way to reverse it, because this just isn't worth it!”
“I didn't do anything special,” Harry responded. “I was going to levitate some candles, so I just, you know, flicked and swished--”
“Flicked and swished? Harry, it's swish and flick! All these years I thought Flitwick was exaggerating…bloody hell,” Ron finished weakly.
Harry woke up screaming. After reassuring Ron that it was just another Voldemort nightmare, he silently resolved to do some remedial Charms revision before trying anything with Ginny.