"You'd rather be Elementary than Mediocre"- McQueen
How true. Mediocre is such a terrible word. Its exactly what we don't want to be because we know we are. And in a sense we try to be, by trying to fit in. This summer I almost came to terms with my own mediocrity. I guess in Europe I watched all the people who seemed so comfortable with themselves. Its something about them, the way they carry themselves. The women who wear bright fuschia lipstick and cherry-printed skirts that sway confidently when they walk. The hipster bloke sporting a navy blue pinstripe suit and purple mohawk holding hands with a beautiful sad-eyed boy in turf shoes like its nobody's business. Not trying to fade into the background, nor trying to get noticed. It seems like they have some insight that we Americans lack, not focusing everything on what everyone else thinks. So unrehearsed.
Sitting in a cafe in Paris eating passion fruit and caramel sorbet, I watched them and or a few minutes I started to think maybe it didn't matter if I'm not a prodigy of some sort, if my nose is too big, if I'm not especially charismatic, whatever. They all just seemed so comfortable in their own skin.
But coming back to school, I was painfully reminded that yes, in the world we live in it DOES matter. And that sucks. Because I can make as many resolution lists as I want, but I'll never really be unique or special. I'll just be mediocre. Damnit. My therapist said "its 1% talent and 99% effort, and you seem to be pretty good at the effort part." Except I always feel unmotivated. She also said I should write more, hence this barrage of my scattered, crazy thoughts. Just kind of typed. I don't even know what the hell I wrote. Heh.
But on the bright side I'M GOING TO DAVE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sitting in a cafe in Paris eating passion fruit and caramel sorbet, I watched them and or a few minutes I started to think maybe it didn't matter if I'm not a prodigy of some sort, if my nose is too big, if I'm not especially charismatic, whatever. They all just seemed so comfortable in their own skin.
But coming back to school, I was painfully reminded that yes, in the world we live in it DOES matter. And that sucks. Because I can make as many resolution lists as I want, but I'll never really be unique or special. I'll just be mediocre. Damnit. My therapist said "its 1% talent and 99% effort, and you seem to be pretty good at the effort part." Except I always feel unmotivated. She also said I should write more, hence this barrage of my scattered, crazy thoughts. Just kind of typed. I don't even know what the hell I wrote. Heh.
But on the bright side I'M GOING TO DAVE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!