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Man, I am really bad at this LJ thing. Damned tumblr eating me alive. But in light of the latest news of Cumberbatch being officially confirmed as Smaug (and Sauron) in the Hobbit, here's a celebratory post.
In Which Martin Freeman Plays A Character Who Spends A Lot of Time Pampering the Monumental Ego of a character played by Benedict Cumberbatch
I am, of course, talking about Sherlock the Hobbit. At first, Bilbo only hears the sound of Smaug snoring.
A sound, too, began to throb in his ears, a sort of bubbling like the noise of a large pot galloping on the fire, mixed with a rumble as of a gigantic tom-cat purring.
Then he sees the dragon.
Smaug lay, with wings folded like an immeasurable bat, turned partly on one side, so that the hobbit could see his underparts and his long pale belly crusted with gems and fragments of gold from his long lying on his costly bed. […] To say that Bilbo’s breath was taken away is no description at all.
Bolded for the pervy. After talking to Smaug, Bilbo is immediately overwhelmed.
That is the effect that dragon-talk has on the inexperienced. Bilbo of course ought to have been on his guard; but Smaug had rather an overwhelming personality.
Smaug can’t resist showing off for Bilbo.
The dragon rolled over. “Look!” he said. “What do you say to that?”
And Bilbo obliges him with flattery.
“Dazzlingly marvellous! Perfect! Flawless! Staggering!”
Then Smaug invites Bilbo to be his flatmate and they live happily ever after.
The End.
The best part about this is how my post of horrifying innuendo got 100 notes on tumblr within an hour. XD Of course, I can't just leave you with disturbing innuendo without a fic to back that up, proving that fandom is amazing.
There and Back Again: A Detective's Tale by qthebadwolf
Sherlock & John visit the set of the Hobbit, where John is asked to stand in as Bilbo. Come for the hilarious on-set shenanigans and improvisations of Sherlock & John. Stay for the amazing Smaug/Bilbo roleplay sex.
Seriously. You won't regret reading this gem.
In Which Martin Freeman Plays A Character Who Spends A Lot of Time Pampering the Monumental Ego of a character played by Benedict Cumberbatch
I am, of course, talking about Sherlock the Hobbit. At first, Bilbo only hears the sound of Smaug snoring.
A sound, too, began to throb in his ears, a sort of bubbling like the noise of a large pot galloping on the fire, mixed with a rumble as of a gigantic tom-cat purring.
Then he sees the dragon.
Smaug lay, with wings folded like an immeasurable bat, turned partly on one side, so that the hobbit could see his underparts and his long pale belly crusted with gems and fragments of gold from his long lying on his costly bed. […] To say that Bilbo’s breath was taken away is no description at all.
Bolded for the pervy. After talking to Smaug, Bilbo is immediately overwhelmed.
That is the effect that dragon-talk has on the inexperienced. Bilbo of course ought to have been on his guard; but Smaug had rather an overwhelming personality.
Smaug can’t resist showing off for Bilbo.
The dragon rolled over. “Look!” he said. “What do you say to that?”
And Bilbo obliges him with flattery.
“Dazzlingly marvellous! Perfect! Flawless! Staggering!”
Then Smaug invites Bilbo to be his flatmate and they live happily ever after.
The End.
The best part about this is how my post of horrifying innuendo got 100 notes on tumblr within an hour. XD Of course, I can't just leave you with disturbing innuendo without a fic to back that up, proving that fandom is amazing.
There and Back Again: A Detective's Tale by qthebadwolf
Sherlock & John visit the set of the Hobbit, where John is asked to stand in as Bilbo. Come for the hilarious on-set shenanigans and improvisations of Sherlock & John. Stay for the amazing Smaug/Bilbo roleplay sex.
Seriously. You won't regret reading this gem.