singing the same lines all over again.

[suckpink]

dear livejournal. i think i'm really in love. emotions&thoughts just flow into one&it all makes sense. it all feels right. i can say nothing&everything is complete. like my tears seep into your heart&that's the PROMISE that we'll be together forever.. maybe i'm just bullshitting myself. but then again, i never lie. i am the most honest motherfucker ever. in my opinion i am. i don't BS. these past couple days have been splendid in some circumstances. i've waited so long to be this happy&it's finally here&i don't know what to do about it. it's like breathing fresh air is overwhelming. like i'm nonexistant. the feeling is overwhelming. i'm having a birthday party this year because i'm going to be 16. i know it's not going to be a big deal to you, but it's something to me. i get my permit soon. next april i'll be driving! i know it seems long to you but it's just an eyelash away to me. it really is... the days that drift by now i dreamt about when i was a naive 6th grader wishing i was in high school with a cool little punk rock boyfriend&a job&a car, now look at me. some days there just aren't enough seconds to open my eyes&realize that the sunshine is kicking on through. there are a lot of people i want to invite to my party, but i don't know if they like me enough to go because i am complete bitch. :) i saw miranda at her work last night. she is so cool. she invited me to go to a show next weekend. i hope we go. that'd be awesome. i got this rockin james dean poster last night. my hole shirt came in the mail today. that made me happy. i hope my hole cd comes in soon. i saw matthew koochie at suncoast last night&it was weird because he was all skinny& he had a blonde girlfriend. it was just so weird because i remember little matt with slick black hair, bad breath,&his pudgy little attire of being rich. anyway. it is now 11:58 at night&i'm sitting here writing whatever is on my mind&i'm listening to norah jones in the dark of my bedroom. i've been listening to her for the past hour now. i love her music a lot. i love my boyfriend a lot. this is all too much to take in. to realize that i actually exist right now is indescribable.

i would give anything to have you shine down on me.