Top of the World ch 17
Title: Top of the World
Rating: Shy and Coy
Paring: Molsdal
Summary: I swear the plot is coming back!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I’ve never met, spoken with, or shagged any of the members of Placebo. Any other characters beyond them belong to me Mwahahahahahahahah*cough*hahahaha
Links to the previous chapters behind the cut.
Chapter one found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/31397.html#cutid1
Chapter two found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/33459.html#cutid1
Chapter three found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/34428.html#cutid1
Chapter four found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/35635.html#cutid1
Chapter five found here: http://community.livejournal.com/suckerlove_/550378.html
Chapter six found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/39952.html#cutid1
Chapter seven found here: http://community.livejournal.com/suckerlove_/565708.html#cutid1
Chapter eight found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/45913.html#cutid1
Chapter nine found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/702.html
Chapter ten found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1291.html#cutid1
Chapter eleven found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1567.html#cutid1
Chapter twelve found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1814.html#cutid1
Chapter thirteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/3928.html#cutid1
Chapter fourteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6286.html#cutid1
Chapter fifteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6651.html#cutid1
Chapter 16: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6767.html#cutid1
Chapter 17
Steve settled down next to Brian, handing him his mug of hot chocolate. Brian wrinkled his nose. “This’ll go straight to my ass.” He complained. Steve took a sip of his.
“Good. You need some fat there. Your arse is way too bony.” Brian smiled weakly.
“Been looking have you?”
“Every fucking minute.” Steve patted his lap, and Brian crawled over, cuddling up in the drummer’s warm embrace. “So, Molks. Who hurt you?”
“It was nothing like that.” Brian mumbled, fidgeting slightly.
“Then what was it like, Bri?” Brian was quiet a minute, fingering a whole in his jeans.
“It was back in school.” He said eventually. “My fourth year. We’d been in Luxembourg for maybe seven months. I tried to fit in, I really did.” He sounded almost as if he was begging Steve to believe just how hard he’d really tried. “All I wanted was to make friends and to be accepted. I wore what the other boys wore; I followed their fashion trends. But I was still smaller than the rest, and I still looked like a girl. They started calling me fag, and queer, and a shit load of other names like that.” Brian felt Steve’s hand twitch. He stalled a moment, by taking a drink of his chocolate, surprised by the fact that it actually made him feel better, if only a little bit. “Well one day-It was after gym-I was in the locker room. And-and-there was this one guy. His name was…Stefan Olsdal.” Brian smiled sadly to himself, making Steve frown. “I was in love with him.” Brian chuckled softly. “Lost my virginity to him, actually.” Steve’s frown deepened. “Anyways, that was later. This one-day after gym, he and the rest of the basketball team, kind of cornered me. And um,” Brian shrugged weakly. “They used an exacto knife…” Steve looked at Brian in horror.
“He wrote ‘fag’ in your leg with an exacto knife, and then you lost your virginity to this guy?” Brian shook his head.
“No. Stefan was the one holding me down…and that was about three years before him and I. We had a thing our last year of school. Funny enough, he was the one who gave me the courage to finally come out to my parents.” Brian fell silent, remembering the night, with all of its blood and pain.
“But still! Bri, this guy let them hurt you, and then you let him fuck you!” Brian felt his heart twinge.
“Steve, it wasn’t like that!”
“Yes it was! Brian, this guy let them torture you!” Several tears tumbled down Brian’s cheek.
“I loved him, Steve. Can’t you understand that? I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t help it. Evan after everything he and the other Jock’s did to me, I still wanted him.” Steve stared at Brian, still disbelieving. “And besides, he changed. He was sweet and caring-and gentle. He’s been the only person, other than you of course, I’ve ever been fucked by who was careful.” Steve swallowed, feeling even more appalled by this latest admission. “I mean everything is fine, when I’m in control. But whenever the tables are turned…” Brian was quiet a minute. “I mean I know I can’t complain, because I let them…but every time I let someone fuck me, they’re rough and violent…and…” Brian trailed off, more tears threatening to spill. “It’s like all they want is my body. They don’t care about who I really am. They don’t care that I have emotions, or that I can feel the way they abuse me. I’ve never felt as loved as I did with Stefan.”
Steve pulled Brian further into his embrace. “I love you, Molks.” Brian sniffed.
“Yes, but you don’t count.”
“Why not?” Steve asked bewildered.
“Because you’re not gay.” Steve knitted his eyebrows together.
“You’ve lost me, man.” Brian sighed.
“I mean loved romantically. I want to be loved by someone who will take care of me, and adore me, and hold me, and-and-” He shrugged sadly. “I know it sounds soppy, but hey. Can’t I dream?” Steve’s lips quirked.
“Of course you can. But what about Gyp?”
“She doesn’t count either.” Steve sighed. “No listen! Apart from you, she’s my best friend. And yeah, we shag and shit like that, but it’s not a real relationship. She’s there for me obviously, but I dunno-she’s not like Stefan was.”
“You’re still in love with this guy?” Steve asked dubiously. Brian blushed slightly.
“Well, yeah. He was my first gay shag, and he was my everything.” His blush deepened. “I guess it’s just been hard for me to get over him, even though it’s been nearly five years or so.” Steve nodded slowly.
“I kind of understand.” Brian smiled, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Stevie Bean. It means a lot to me that you care.” He brought his cup up to his lips, but then swore as it spilled all over Steve’s white shirt. “Whoops.” He said sheepishly as Steve glared at him. “I guess trying to drink sideways isn’t a good idea.”
“No.” Steve agreed. “It’s not.” He had just reached for the napkins sitting on the coffee table, when the phone rang. Groaning, Steve pushed Brian off his lap and stood up.
“Well thanks very much.” Brian pouted.
“Don’t complain you just spilled hot chocolate all over me.”
“Aw, but babe, that means I can lick it off!” Steve just rolled his eyes, and grabbed the phone from its cradle.
“Yeah?”
“Oh hey, Steve. Is Brian there?”
“He sure is. Molks, Gyp’s on the phone.” Brian bounded off the couch and skipped to the phone. Steve just shook his head, heading off to his room to change shirts.
“Hey love.” Brian chirped.
“Hey babe. How was shopping?”
“It was good.” Brian hopped up on the counter, twirling his finger around the phone chord. “Got you a new pair of cuffs.” Gypsum laughed.
“Excellent! I missed my old ones.” Brian giggled.
“I know! Oh and Alex says hi. He says he wants in on some threesomes.” Gypsum laughed again.
“Well we’ll certainly have to invite him-”
“Oy!” Brian jumped. “Get your arse off me bloody counter!” Brian stuck his tongue out at the now shirtless drummer, and settled his arse further into the polished surface.
“Bri love, when are you coming home? I’ve got dinner going and-?”
“Oh my god, Gyp! You?! cooking?!”
“Yes.” Gypsum huffed. “I don’t see you running your ass home to cook.”
“Well that’s because, you’d end up in the hospital if I made dinner.”
“Get off my counter!” Brian gave Steve the finger, continuing to ignore him.
“So what, my lovely lady, are you making for dinner?”
“Lasagne.” Brian made a face.
“Ew!”
“Don’t you give me that! Be happy you get food.” Brian rolled his eyes.
“Stevie, what’re you having for dinner?” Steve glared at him, before stomping over to the refrigerator. He rifled through the contents for a second before turning back.
“I’ve got frozen pizzas, tv dinners, and left over tandoori.” Brian sighed.
“No one has anything good.”
“Now that you’ve established that, would you kindly remove your arse from my counter?” Brian pouted tragically.
“Lasagne, Gyp?”
“Yup. I expect you here in twenty, Bri.” Gypsum said cheerfully. “Bye love!” Brian glowered as he dropped the phone back onto its cradle.
“For the last time! Get your sodding arse off my fucking counter!” Brian squealed as Steve grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him into the air.
Rating: Shy and Coy
Paring: Molsdal
Summary: I swear the plot is coming back!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I’ve never met, spoken with, or shagged any of the members of Placebo. Any other characters beyond them belong to me Mwahahahahahahahah*cough*hahahaha
Links to the previous chapters behind the cut.
Chapter one found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/31397.html#cutid1
Chapter two found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/33459.html#cutid1
Chapter three found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/34428.html#cutid1
Chapter four found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/35635.html#cutid1
Chapter five found here: http://community.livejournal.com/suckerlove_/550378.html
Chapter six found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/39952.html#cutid1
Chapter seven found here: http://community.livejournal.com/suckerlove_/565708.html#cutid1
Chapter eight found here: http://vainwithglitter.livejournal.com/45913.html#cutid1
Chapter nine found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/702.html
Chapter ten found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1291.html#cutid1
Chapter eleven found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1567.html#cutid1
Chapter twelve found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/1814.html#cutid1
Chapter thirteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/3928.html#cutid1
Chapter fourteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6286.html#cutid1
Chapter fifteen found here: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6651.html#cutid1
Chapter 16: http://vanity-goddess.livejournal.com/6767.html#cutid1
Chapter 17
Steve settled down next to Brian, handing him his mug of hot chocolate. Brian wrinkled his nose. “This’ll go straight to my ass.” He complained. Steve took a sip of his.
“Good. You need some fat there. Your arse is way too bony.” Brian smiled weakly.
“Been looking have you?”
“Every fucking minute.” Steve patted his lap, and Brian crawled over, cuddling up in the drummer’s warm embrace. “So, Molks. Who hurt you?”
“It was nothing like that.” Brian mumbled, fidgeting slightly.
“Then what was it like, Bri?” Brian was quiet a minute, fingering a whole in his jeans.
“It was back in school.” He said eventually. “My fourth year. We’d been in Luxembourg for maybe seven months. I tried to fit in, I really did.” He sounded almost as if he was begging Steve to believe just how hard he’d really tried. “All I wanted was to make friends and to be accepted. I wore what the other boys wore; I followed their fashion trends. But I was still smaller than the rest, and I still looked like a girl. They started calling me fag, and queer, and a shit load of other names like that.” Brian felt Steve’s hand twitch. He stalled a moment, by taking a drink of his chocolate, surprised by the fact that it actually made him feel better, if only a little bit. “Well one day-It was after gym-I was in the locker room. And-and-there was this one guy. His name was…Stefan Olsdal.” Brian smiled sadly to himself, making Steve frown. “I was in love with him.” Brian chuckled softly. “Lost my virginity to him, actually.” Steve’s frown deepened. “Anyways, that was later. This one-day after gym, he and the rest of the basketball team, kind of cornered me. And um,” Brian shrugged weakly. “They used an exacto knife…” Steve looked at Brian in horror.
“He wrote ‘fag’ in your leg with an exacto knife, and then you lost your virginity to this guy?” Brian shook his head.
“No. Stefan was the one holding me down…and that was about three years before him and I. We had a thing our last year of school. Funny enough, he was the one who gave me the courage to finally come out to my parents.” Brian fell silent, remembering the night, with all of its blood and pain.
“But still! Bri, this guy let them hurt you, and then you let him fuck you!” Brian felt his heart twinge.
“Steve, it wasn’t like that!”
“Yes it was! Brian, this guy let them torture you!” Several tears tumbled down Brian’s cheek.
“I loved him, Steve. Can’t you understand that? I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t help it. Evan after everything he and the other Jock’s did to me, I still wanted him.” Steve stared at Brian, still disbelieving. “And besides, he changed. He was sweet and caring-and gentle. He’s been the only person, other than you of course, I’ve ever been fucked by who was careful.” Steve swallowed, feeling even more appalled by this latest admission. “I mean everything is fine, when I’m in control. But whenever the tables are turned…” Brian was quiet a minute. “I mean I know I can’t complain, because I let them…but every time I let someone fuck me, they’re rough and violent…and…” Brian trailed off, more tears threatening to spill. “It’s like all they want is my body. They don’t care about who I really am. They don’t care that I have emotions, or that I can feel the way they abuse me. I’ve never felt as loved as I did with Stefan.”
Steve pulled Brian further into his embrace. “I love you, Molks.” Brian sniffed.
“Yes, but you don’t count.”
“Why not?” Steve asked bewildered.
“Because you’re not gay.” Steve knitted his eyebrows together.
“You’ve lost me, man.” Brian sighed.
“I mean loved romantically. I want to be loved by someone who will take care of me, and adore me, and hold me, and-and-” He shrugged sadly. “I know it sounds soppy, but hey. Can’t I dream?” Steve’s lips quirked.
“Of course you can. But what about Gyp?”
“She doesn’t count either.” Steve sighed. “No listen! Apart from you, she’s my best friend. And yeah, we shag and shit like that, but it’s not a real relationship. She’s there for me obviously, but I dunno-she’s not like Stefan was.”
“You’re still in love with this guy?” Steve asked dubiously. Brian blushed slightly.
“Well, yeah. He was my first gay shag, and he was my everything.” His blush deepened. “I guess it’s just been hard for me to get over him, even though it’s been nearly five years or so.” Steve nodded slowly.
“I kind of understand.” Brian smiled, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Stevie Bean. It means a lot to me that you care.” He brought his cup up to his lips, but then swore as it spilled all over Steve’s white shirt. “Whoops.” He said sheepishly as Steve glared at him. “I guess trying to drink sideways isn’t a good idea.”
“No.” Steve agreed. “It’s not.” He had just reached for the napkins sitting on the coffee table, when the phone rang. Groaning, Steve pushed Brian off his lap and stood up.
“Well thanks very much.” Brian pouted.
“Don’t complain you just spilled hot chocolate all over me.”
“Aw, but babe, that means I can lick it off!” Steve just rolled his eyes, and grabbed the phone from its cradle.
“Yeah?”
“Oh hey, Steve. Is Brian there?”
“He sure is. Molks, Gyp’s on the phone.” Brian bounded off the couch and skipped to the phone. Steve just shook his head, heading off to his room to change shirts.
“Hey love.” Brian chirped.
“Hey babe. How was shopping?”
“It was good.” Brian hopped up on the counter, twirling his finger around the phone chord. “Got you a new pair of cuffs.” Gypsum laughed.
“Excellent! I missed my old ones.” Brian giggled.
“I know! Oh and Alex says hi. He says he wants in on some threesomes.” Gypsum laughed again.
“Well we’ll certainly have to invite him-”
“Oy!” Brian jumped. “Get your arse off me bloody counter!” Brian stuck his tongue out at the now shirtless drummer, and settled his arse further into the polished surface.
“Bri love, when are you coming home? I’ve got dinner going and-?”
“Oh my god, Gyp! You?! cooking?!”
“Yes.” Gypsum huffed. “I don’t see you running your ass home to cook.”
“Well that’s because, you’d end up in the hospital if I made dinner.”
“Get off my counter!” Brian gave Steve the finger, continuing to ignore him.
“So what, my lovely lady, are you making for dinner?”
“Lasagne.” Brian made a face.
“Ew!”
“Don’t you give me that! Be happy you get food.” Brian rolled his eyes.
“Stevie, what’re you having for dinner?” Steve glared at him, before stomping over to the refrigerator. He rifled through the contents for a second before turning back.
“I’ve got frozen pizzas, tv dinners, and left over tandoori.” Brian sighed.
“No one has anything good.”
“Now that you’ve established that, would you kindly remove your arse from my counter?” Brian pouted tragically.
“Lasagne, Gyp?”
“Yup. I expect you here in twenty, Bri.” Gypsum said cheerfully. “Bye love!” Brian glowered as he dropped the phone back onto its cradle.
“For the last time! Get your sodding arse off my fucking counter!” Brian squealed as Steve grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him into the air.