Umm...I made a crazy ridiculous request at burnmybridges's post so I think, by some kind of transitive property (WHO FAILED MATH FOREVER? OH, YEAH, THAT WAS ME.) I think I tagged myself
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Um...I'm calling this the Julia Nunes!AU in my head.
Arthur was managing a band full of people that could be described--if one was being incredibly generous--as a couple cards shy of the full deck. It wasn't easy. He had to spend a lot of time shepherding weeping and/or ranting drug addicts from one back stage to another and then shoving them into the flood of lights when they stared at him blankly.
One particular band lost their opening act somewhere between Des Moines and Tallahassee. They still had the girl's ukulele, though, and Arthur thought to himself, "Fine. How hard can it be?"
It wasn't like he didn't know the fundamentals of stringed instruments, after all. He wasn't the sort of person to go into a business he wasn't prepared for. So he had given the ukulele a couple of experimental strums.
"You're not going to pull this off," Eames said, spinning a drumstick around a couple of fingers.
"You need an opening act," Arthur pointed out.
"I can juggle," Eames offered.
"You can't be the opening act and the main event, Eames," Arthur said. He spoke slowly because musicians didn't, in his experience, think very fast.
"Darling, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
Arthur just shrugged.
***
Onstage, later, he remembered that he didn't actually know any songs. He blinked at the bright lights and strummed a couple of chords.
He started spooling through his internal list of songs, looking for anything with a simple chord structure. Eames was sort of right, though, and there was something off-putting about the lights and the sound of the occasional cough and the knowledge that there were all those people out there just looking at him...
Which is probably why he began the song that his brain came up with without examining the decision.
"Wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy..."
If he was a cartoon character, there would have been a flabbergasted angel on his shoulder, pulling at his ear, trying to make him stop singing. And the other one would have been reminding him of that summer when his little sister played K$sha so often that he knew the words backwards and forwards.
Oh, well. It's not like the chord structure was difficult, at least.
***
"...Something's got me reeling, stopped me from believing, turned me around again..."
Someone in the audience must REALLY love Sugar Ray, Arthur thought as a bra flew across the stage.
***
He got off the stage and flipped open his phone. Someone had to find Julia, after all.
"Hello, this is the Jackson City Super 8."
"I was staying at your establishment last night. Have you seen a blonde girl about five feet--"
He was cut off when someone reached across him and grabbed his phone.
"Eames!" he protested--because only Eames would risk losing his fingers like that-- "I need to find Julia."
"Fuck Julia," Eames said.
Arthur frowned. "I really don't think--"
"More importantly--why do you know all the words to 'Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It'?" Eames asked, clicking 'End' on Arthur's phone.
"It played on the radio a lot."
"And you can play the ukulele."
"It's only got four strings," Arthur said. Eames was looking at him funny. "What? I manage your band, that's a lot harder than four stri--"
But Eames had cut him off again by pressing their mouths together. It wasn't exactly how Arthur had seen the evening going. He pulled back after a moment.
(julia nunes is really talented! i watched like eight videos in a row XD)
AND s;kl;fjks;s OH MY GOD lkjsfkljklsjflfjss
i don't have any words except just how CHARMING and totally hilarious everything is. arthur singing tik tok is pretty much the most hilarious thing to exist and i reread the paragraph at least ten times before i could stop laughing hard enough to read the rest.
AND THEN EAMES MENTIONED 'GETTIN' JIGGY WIT IT' AND I CRACKED UP ALL OVER AGAIN Al;kfjdskl;kl;jslkklds
Julia Nunes is tots the reason I learned how to play the ukulele. And she's fantabulous in person too--she performed in my town last year and I dragged one of my roommates to her concert and she was super lovely. :)
Arthur was managing a band full of people that could be described--if one was being incredibly generous--as a couple cards shy of the full deck. It wasn't easy. He had to spend a lot of time shepherding weeping and/or ranting drug addicts from one back stage to another and then shoving them into the flood of lights when they stared at him blankly.
One particular band lost their opening act somewhere between Des Moines and Tallahassee. They still had the girl's ukulele, though, and Arthur thought to himself, "Fine. How hard can it be?"
It wasn't like he didn't know the fundamentals of stringed instruments, after all. He wasn't the sort of person to go into a business he wasn't prepared for. So he had given the ukulele a couple of experimental strums.
"You're not going to pull this off," Eames said, spinning a drumstick around a couple of fingers.
"You need an opening act," Arthur pointed out.
"I can juggle," Eames offered.
"You can't be the opening act and the main event, Eames," Arthur said. He spoke slowly because musicians didn't, in his experience, think very fast.
"Darling, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
Arthur just shrugged.
***
Onstage, later, he remembered that he didn't actually know any songs. He blinked at the bright lights and strummed a couple of chords.
He started spooling through his internal list of songs, looking for anything with a simple chord structure. Eames was sort of right, though, and there was something off-putting about the lights and the sound of the occasional cough and the knowledge that there were all those people out there just looking at him...
Which is probably why he began the song that his brain came up with without examining the decision.
"Wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy..."
If he was a cartoon character, there would have been a flabbergasted angel on his shoulder, pulling at his ear, trying to make him stop singing. And the other one would have been reminding him of that summer when his little sister played K$sha so often that he knew the words backwards and forwards.
Oh, well. It's not like the chord structure was difficult, at least.
***
"...Something's got me reeling, stopped me from believing, turned me around again..."
Someone in the audience must REALLY love Sugar Ray, Arthur thought as a bra flew across the stage.
***
He got off the stage and flipped open his phone. Someone had to find Julia, after all.
"Hello, this is the Jackson City Super 8."
"I was staying at your establishment last night. Have you seen a blonde girl about five feet--"
He was cut off when someone reached across him and grabbed his phone.
"Eames!" he protested--because only Eames would risk losing his fingers like that-- "I need to find Julia."
"Fuck Julia," Eames said.
Arthur frowned. "I really don't think--"
"More importantly--why do you know all the words to 'Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It'?" Eames asked, clicking 'End' on Arthur's phone.
"It played on the radio a lot."
"And you can play the ukulele."
"It's only got four strings," Arthur said. Eames was looking at him funny. "What? I manage your band, that's a lot harder than four stri--"
But Eames had cut him off again by pressing their mouths together. It wasn't exactly how Arthur had seen the evening going. He pulled back after a moment.
"I know 'Natural Woman' too," he said.
Eames groaned.
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AND s;kl;fjks;s OH MY GOD lkjsfkljklsjflfjss
i don't have any words except just how CHARMING and totally hilarious everything is. arthur singing tik tok is pretty much the most hilarious thing to exist and i reread the paragraph at least ten times before i could stop laughing hard enough to read the rest.
AND THEN EAMES MENTIONED 'GETTIN' JIGGY WIT IT' AND I CRACKED UP ALL OVER AGAIN Al;kfjdskl;kl;jslkklds
thank you so much for filling in my prompt! ♥
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