Russian Roulette Is Not The Same Without A Gun [a Sebastian Moran fanmix]
Full album art, tracklistings, and download links under the cut.
While I was writing Death and the Maiden I got ridiculously attached to Sebastian Moran. Afterwords I just wasn't able to give him up yet, so this happened. I'm a bit ridiculous, but I've already squared with that fact.
He's portrayed on the album cover as Craig Parkinson because of the geniuses on Tumblr. Seriously, I'm unable to picture a potential BBC-Sherlock-verse Sebastian as anyone but him after all the awesome art that's been done.
This mix is essentially the 'Ten Facts About...' fic meme except in mix form and with thirteen facts instead of ten, but um that's still cool right? Right.
Oh! And just to warn those who haven't read the original Sherlock Holmes stories, there are spoilers for "The Empty House" in the ficlets, so be careful of that.
Special thanks to mad-teagirl for her being awesome and beta-ing this for me. (Also for being my number one cheerleader when it comes to writing fic. <3)
Alright, enough babble. On with the mix!
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Russian Roulette Is Not The Same Without A Gun
Twelve Facts & One Lie about Sebastian Moran
Mark Strong - People Ask the Question [Dialogue Clip]
Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot.
Bloc Party - Banquet
Fact One: A heart of stone, a smoking gun
Before Sebastian Moran ever killed a man he had broken thirteen different noses.
He was surprised the fuckers he grew up with at the estate hadn’t learned better than to provoke him after had he smashed Robert Turner’s face in when he had been fourteen. But no, there had always been some upstart trying to declare himself king of the block, and that just wouldn’t do.
Twelve of the thirteen noses later, Sebastian found himself tired of the meaningless politics of adolescent rebellion and signed up for the army.
There were skills he wanted to acquire that he felt learning under the protection of the British military would give him an advantage.
Enlisting was probably the greatest favor Sebastian Moran ever did for himself.
Modest Mouse - This Devil's Workday
Fact Two: For I am my own damn god
Despite what some may think; Sebastian’s first kill outside a combat zone was about vengeance, not the pay.
See, Sebastian Moran was a goddamn war hero.
As the best shot his superiors had seen in ages, his skill and unpolished charisma helped him quickly climb his way up the ranks overseas.
He served for seven years and returned to the estates only to awkwardly sit on his mother’s floral print sofa after her funeral and wonder what London had left to offer him.
And it’s on that evening that he learns about what the ugly bastard Robert Turner did to his sister while he was overseas.
It’s that evening that he sees exactly what London has left to offer him.
Art Brut - 18,000 Lira
Fact Three: But we're going to do this bank job, and we're gonna do our very best
The first bank job Moran pulled was a disaster. They might have got away, but it was… inelegant.
Enrique was sloppy and Rufus didn’t even know how to fire a gun. No one working at the bank even had access to the vault. So Sebastian did they only thing he could think of and grabbed the pocket book of the single civilian inside the bank, gave a shout, and took a run for it.
He’s not proud of it.
He has to admit, however, that he would literally kill a man to have a photo of the three of them racing away on those god-awful turquoise scooters.
Orba Squara - Poker Face
Fact Four: I wanna roll with her a hard pair we will be
Sebastian knew a girl named Lisa Cassidy. She had grown up on the estates with him. She had a fiery personality and a gap between her front teeth. He’d always fancied her a bit.
Shortly after his return from the military he was pleasantly surprised when Lisa showed up at a card game he was hosting. She had recently inherited her previously estranged father’s company and was quite pleased to hear about the honors Sebastian had received overseas.
They quickly fell into conversation, and fell into bed even quicker.
She had connections that Sebastian wanted for himself. He had both the firepower and the talent behind it to knock off Lisa’s three biggest competitors.
They lied and cheated; manipulating the other into a relationship until two months passed and then they finally both laid their cards on the table after successfully spotting the other’s bluff.
Sebastian and Lisa actually get along quite well now, despite the span of their entire romantic relationship being a mutual con.
They don't fuck anymore, but they still play poker together.
He’s killed a total of seventeen men on her behalf.
Arctic Monkeys - Diamonds Are Forever
Fact Five: I don't need love, for what good can love do me?
The colonel climbs the ranks of the London underworld much like he had in the military, utilizing the twin powers of both his roguish charm and his unmatched accuracy with a sniper rifle.
And much like he had in the military, he earns the respect of his colleagues and superiors through the same means.
He doesn’t have a relationship that lasts more than one night, unless a mark requires it. (And he honestly can’t complain about those jobs.)
He moves on from bank jobs to hit jobs and never looks back.
And then one day he attracts the attention of a man called Moriarty.
A man he is surprisingly allowed to call Jim.
The Strokes - Alone, Together
Fact Six: He knows it's justified to kill to survive, he then in dollars makes more dead than alive
The rather strange truth that Sebastian Moran has come to accept is that Jim Moriarty is probably the bloody love of the colonel’s life.
Not that that they have a grand romance, nothing like that, not even close.
And it’s not that he swings that way, because he doesn't. (Well, alright once or twice or five times, but only when the occasion has presented itself to be beneficial.) That's not the point though.
The point is that there is only one man he'd die for, and that's Jim.
It is what it is.
Blur - Top Man
Fact Seven: Shooting guns on the high street of love
When he’s working a job that requires a long stakeout, Sebastian keeps his left ear-bud in at all times.
He knows he should keep his entire focus on the target, but he can’t help it.
A mate of his from the army had once made the comment “music for the slaughter” and Sebastian found it fairly apt.
His album of choice would be Blur’s The Great Escape, but he’s been known to switch it up with Modern Life Is Rubbish or Parklife when the mood strikes him.
He honestly just really loves killing men to the sound of Graham Coxon playing guitar.
And besides, even with only half his attention trained on his mark, he’s still the finest tuned instrument of destruction for purchase on the underground market.
The White Stripes - I Think I Smell A Rat
Fact Eight: Walking down the street, carrying a baseball bat
Sebastian Moran considers himself quite clever; considers himself a pro when it comes to reading people. He's a proper gambler, after all.
So it's no surprise to him that he discovers Anthony Parkinson's secret well before Jim does.
Jim often ignores details, fails to take in the habits of a person if they don’t immediately interest him. And it was clear to Moran that Jim considered Parkinson a hired gun and very little else.
But Sebastian saw it, saw it buzzing under his skin. He just didn’t know what it was, and unlike the great Sherlock Holmes, he couldn’t deduce the secret from the man’s cufflinks or his crescent moon scar.
A single shot would have eliminated the threat, it would be cleaner, but he wouldn’t have had his answers. So he decided a false job and a baseball bat would do.
Forty-five minutes later Sebastian had his answers, Anthony had some spectacular new bruises, and they both had a greater respect for one another.
Apparently they’ve had an ally at Scotland Yard that Anthony had been protecting.
They go out for drinks to meet said ally.
It becomes a weekly ritual. (The drinks, not the baseball bat.)
The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age Of The Understatement
Fact Nine: Kiss me properly and pull me apart
Sebastian Moran’s favorite rifle is a M1903 Springfield which he lovingly calls Irene.
He named it after the woman who gave him his favorite scar.
It’s just below his collarbone, on the left and he stares at it every night before he goes to bed.
Franz Ferdinand - Evil And A Heathen
Fact Ten: Well I'm a heathen and evil like you
If he was honest with himself, Sebastian would admit that he has a tendency to always fall a little in love with anyone he works with.
Hamilton. Flores. Cassidy. Parkinson. Andrews. Hooper. Starling.
He can't help but get attached to each and every one of them. (Except when it came to Ronald Adair, because that fool was a right bastard and a fucking joke.)
Hooray For Earth - Lewis Takes Action
Fact Eleven: My every move is guided by the bidding of the singer
After the boss’s genius idea for a grand showdown at Reichenbach falls, the colonel found himself as a bit of a free agent. It was… unsettling.
Two months later he learns that Jim had survived his fall and the grief that had been silently suffocating him evaporates. He hadn't even noticed he’d been drowning in it until Molly’s message arrived.
At the end of the day Sebastian Moran is a military man at heart. He quite likes having a superior to answer to.
He doesn’t know what he would do if he could no longer be the right hand of the world’s only consulting criminal.
Placebo - Infra-Red
Fact Twelve: There is no running that can hide you, 'cause I can see in the dark
When Sebastian Moran sets his sights on a target he doesn’t fail. Every move he makes is a step closer to his own personal endgame.
So the colonel lets Sherlock Holmes chase him around the world because he wants him to. He lets him chase him to draw his attention away from Jim. Away from Molly. Away from all of them.
It’s not ideal, but it’s worth it.
It’s worth it because Sebastian Moran despises Sherlock Holmes and he takes great pleasure in disrupting the detective’s life.
He takes great pleasure in leading the man away from his cases and the Yard and 221b Baker Street.
He takes great pleasure in taking the man on a pointless hunt across the continent and then straight back into the home he left behind.
He takes great pleasure in finally pulling the trigger from his perch in the abandoned building across the way.
He doesn’t expect to fail because Sebastian Moran doesn’t fail.
Bloc Party - The Pioneers [M83 Remix]
Lie One: It's all under control
Sebastian Moran is royally fucked.
Sebastian Moran is going to jail.
DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM ZIP
from my server
from sendspace
If you would like a link to any of the individual tracks, just ask!
[view the mix on tumblr]
[view the mix on 8tracks]
And while you're here, please check out some of the other fandom-y things I've worked on:
more fanmixes + more things sherlock
or come join us at 221b-fanmix
This Sebastian Moran fanmix was created for you with love by suchaprince.