Alright, i know you dont know much about me and i'm usually not this open with people or anything but i dont care anymore;; and i dont know how long ago your wrote this entry but i'm still commenting on it lol. I think everyone has this thought of suicde whether people did it or not i have no idea. So to be completly honest with you i'm sure you weren't the only one who did that and i'm sure people still do it now and everything;; I remember last year i was depressed all the time i wanted nothing more than to just hurt myself (cutting) becuase nothing would make me feel any better. I use to sit in my room alone and cry to myself just because i couldn't stand my life. People might have said that it was fine but they only saw the outside. Last year was my sisters first year of college, and my first year of highschool. A new environment, and she wasn't there for me to talk to. Wasn't there for like anythign i needed. It was hard, i didn't know what i was going to do with out her. She goes to Indiana and i had no idea how far that was but it got to me all of last year that i can't do this anymore, that i need to go see someone. At times not only would i want to cut myself but i also wanted to just not eat. And i still feel like that. I still get depressed but not to the point where i need to hurt myself. I still think about how last year i was thinking about suicde and now it scares me that i could hurt myself. i feel like i think about it a lot and i know thats not good but its better to think about it than to actually do it. Junior year i have no idea what i'm going to do, i hear its the hardest year yet, and to tell you the truth for me highschool so far hasn't been that easy. At times it has been but getting to class to class with out any drama starting is like just another class. Alright i'm going to stop but i just thought i needed to comment;; sorry for the comment? lol i'm not sure what to say but i just really wanted to say that i'm sure you weren't alone with the cutting thing, and it just scares me becuase i feel like i'm going to do that next year as much as i dont want to for some reason i still feel like it might happen. Alright i'm really done this time ♥♥
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