...i've got one good trick...
Mood ...finite...
Mo'Zak: "for what it's worth" by Buffalo Springfield
disappear, it's what i've always had up my sleeve, the only magic trick i've got in my repertoire...
no one can give me a good reason to show my face around these parts right now, i don't know how long i'll be gone when i take off, maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe i'll never be back, i don't even know if i'm even going to be human, or breathing by the end of this year, well nor do you or anyone else for that matter, but it's becoming more clear as the days pass that my time is more finite then most would think...
it's not running away, don't be foolish and make that assumption, i'm the ever wandering, ever clandestine Jacob...
it could be that i need to go somewhere else to remember why i would stay, because i look at you, and i know what i want, but you don't have the mental capacity to deal with a human being such as myself, that's cool, whatever, either that or you just lost your will to care, that's cool too, whatever... your hypocrisy doesn't seem to know any bounds, love, friendship these things don't phase you... not when there's greener pastures to be grazed off... my usefulness to you seems to have warn too thin, hell, you look for reasons to be mad at me, and then you amplify them into realms where logic doesn't exist, and no you wouldn't want to just ask me about something, that'd make the process of letting go off me a little harder, it's easier to just be mad...
you talk about playing the game to me, saying that you have to make it appear you believe something or what have you to get ahead, well good job, you certainly do play it well...
and maybe i'm wrong about your intentions, but i don't see trusting you as a viable option at this moment, considering how willing you were to change how you felt literally over night...
you talk about how you can't trust me, well i'm pretty damn consistent in my behavior, i don't play, or act like i'm something else, i've always just followed my instincts and impulses, albeit they've led me to do terrible things to people who didn't necessarily deserve it, but it has also led me to do very good things for a lot of people, and i've learned from my mistakes against humanity, and it also led me to you, which you have been a great revelation of sorts...
i love you, and i know, that sucks for everyone involved, namely you and i, from your view, you have this guy who seems absolutely insane and obsessed with you, hindering you and embarrassing you, but damn can he be awesome sometimes, then my point of view, which you just honestly don't give a shit about, but here it is anyway, i fucking love you kid, and i accept that you don't really want anything to do with me unless it has a purpose or is convenient, and i'm not gonna stop, i'm just gonna try and go about my life, and for the very reason of love, my heart, mind and whatever it is that i have will remain at your beck and call...
and who knows, maybe you actually do love me...
but the suspense involved with finding out is killing me at such close proximity at the moment, and i know you'll agree, it'll be better if i'm not around for atleast a little bit...
anyway, i love you... talk to me about this, or anything you wish to talk about, you'll always know where i am...
Mo'Zak: "for what it's worth" by Buffalo Springfield
disappear, it's what i've always had up my sleeve, the only magic trick i've got in my repertoire...
no one can give me a good reason to show my face around these parts right now, i don't know how long i'll be gone when i take off, maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe i'll never be back, i don't even know if i'm even going to be human, or breathing by the end of this year, well nor do you or anyone else for that matter, but it's becoming more clear as the days pass that my time is more finite then most would think...
it's not running away, don't be foolish and make that assumption, i'm the ever wandering, ever clandestine Jacob...
it could be that i need to go somewhere else to remember why i would stay, because i look at you, and i know what i want, but you don't have the mental capacity to deal with a human being such as myself, that's cool, whatever, either that or you just lost your will to care, that's cool too, whatever... your hypocrisy doesn't seem to know any bounds, love, friendship these things don't phase you... not when there's greener pastures to be grazed off... my usefulness to you seems to have warn too thin, hell, you look for reasons to be mad at me, and then you amplify them into realms where logic doesn't exist, and no you wouldn't want to just ask me about something, that'd make the process of letting go off me a little harder, it's easier to just be mad...
you talk about playing the game to me, saying that you have to make it appear you believe something or what have you to get ahead, well good job, you certainly do play it well...
and maybe i'm wrong about your intentions, but i don't see trusting you as a viable option at this moment, considering how willing you were to change how you felt literally over night...
you talk about how you can't trust me, well i'm pretty damn consistent in my behavior, i don't play, or act like i'm something else, i've always just followed my instincts and impulses, albeit they've led me to do terrible things to people who didn't necessarily deserve it, but it has also led me to do very good things for a lot of people, and i've learned from my mistakes against humanity, and it also led me to you, which you have been a great revelation of sorts...
i love you, and i know, that sucks for everyone involved, namely you and i, from your view, you have this guy who seems absolutely insane and obsessed with you, hindering you and embarrassing you, but damn can he be awesome sometimes, then my point of view, which you just honestly don't give a shit about, but here it is anyway, i fucking love you kid, and i accept that you don't really want anything to do with me unless it has a purpose or is convenient, and i'm not gonna stop, i'm just gonna try and go about my life, and for the very reason of love, my heart, mind and whatever it is that i have will remain at your beck and call...
and who knows, maybe you actually do love me...
but the suspense involved with finding out is killing me at such close proximity at the moment, and i know you'll agree, it'll be better if i'm not around for atleast a little bit...
anyway, i love you... talk to me about this, or anything you wish to talk about, you'll always know where i am...