(no subject)

[such_a_fool187]

I seem to always want to update this thing late at night when a million thoughts are running through my head, none of them logical. I had absolutely 100% intentions of getting home from work at 9:30 and being in bed trying to fall asleep by 10:30. Not happening. Pretty sure I have some form of insomnia. Im so tired all day but on the rare account that I'm actually able to get a decent amount of sleep, I feel even shittier then if I got say 2 hours. I have nothing relevent to say so you mine as well stop right here if you think you are going to get something insightful or maybe hear me talk trash or dish on the latest gossip but I have none. Sorry. Talking to Beth briefly over the telephono via Michaels, she said something interesting. She mentioned that I'm probly too scared or intimidated to talk to the types of guys that I really want to be with or develope something with. Hmmm, maybe thats why I'm getting creepos, because I feel superior and are not the slightest bit self conscious around them cause they're, well, fucking weird. Time to change that. More than ever now I miss the feeling of having a guy to think about that gives me butterflies and perking up when I hear their name and momentarily falling short of breath when I finally do see them. Its the greatest feeling in the world and I want that. I want that connection that your best girl friends are not capable of giving you cause it is something only brought on by that one other person. :( man I just bummed myself out.

On another note, I want plans this weekend. Don't care when or what or with who. (okay I lied, I care who) But the past couple of weekends have literally been work, homework, short naps( well not so much naps but rather passing out face down in a textbook while doing homework) and I'm so sick of it. Give me something to look forward to.