Halloween and stuff...
"I'm going to tell you a story, it's a bit long but bare with me here. A man walks into a building that used to be a bar, sits down and orders a martini.
Seeing as this used to be a bar, there is no bar, and there is no bartender, there is just a woman selling those little orange circus peanuts. She looks at him and says "I'm sorry, I can't give you a martini, I can only give you these little orange circus peanuts."
He looks at her and says "I don't want little orange circus peanuts, I want a martini."
To which she replies "I'm sorry, I only have little orange circus peanuts, no martinis."
Cut to three years later...
The same man has quit drinking. In order to fill the void drinking once filled, he now masturbates while riding an old Schwinn cruiser. As he is riding down the street, masturbating, the woman who had the little orange circus peanuts is walking down the street towards him wearing a large dress with no underwear, all her underwear is at the cleaners getting heavily starched. Right as the man is about to ejaculate, a truck turns in front of him and he flies off his bike. At that same moment, the women walks over an air vent and her dress flies up over her head. The man flies through the air, the woman falls down in confusion, he lands on her, his penis penetrates her vagina, he ejaculates, and nine months later I was born!"
Now I know what you're probably thinking (unless you're Erin or Mary and you've already heard it"..."Holy shit, that's pretty fucked up." But do not worry, it was not my story, I went to a free comedy show at Chico State on Halloween and a comedian named Michael O'Conner opened his segment with that story... funny, yet pretty fucking wierd... So the show consisted of four comedians, Kamar somethinorother, Michael O'Conner, Rob Cantrell, and the headliner, Carlos Alazraqui. Kamar (I think that's his first name, he calls himself by just the initial K.)was quite funny, made quite a few racial jokes about being black and such. Michael O'Conner was just nuts, and he "rocked the roof off this bitch" with his heavy metal educational songs like "How we Count to Four" and "No one will let me play with their asian baby." Following him was a horribly immature and very not funny show by Last Comic Standing contestant Rob Cantrell (season 2, go figure). Apparantly if you say "smoke weed and titty-fuck" and talk about how edgy you are for saying things like "I fuck ostriches when their heads are underground" a lot, people will think you're a good comedian, I can't see this guy going very far as a comedian. But after him came Carlos, most well known for his role as Lt. Garcia on Reno 911, but he was also the Taco Bell chihuahua, Rock from Rocko's Modern Life, Crocker on Fairly Oddparents, and other stuff. Until last night, I never thought I would ever laugh so hard I couldn't breathe (literally, gasping for breath for about a minute and a half straight). I've decided that I need to go to any comedy night at Chico state i have a chance to go to. I am so glad I went, especially since it was free.
So that was my halloween. Chico High is in the playoffs (football) for the first time in a long long time. It's about time. We'll prolly make it past one round, maybe more, i dunno. We'll just have to see I guess.
I have my senior picture tomorrow (my location shot) I hope that turns out ok. I'll update soon, Love You Erin!
-Robby
Seeing as this used to be a bar, there is no bar, and there is no bartender, there is just a woman selling those little orange circus peanuts. She looks at him and says "I'm sorry, I can't give you a martini, I can only give you these little orange circus peanuts."
He looks at her and says "I don't want little orange circus peanuts, I want a martini."
To which she replies "I'm sorry, I only have little orange circus peanuts, no martinis."
Cut to three years later...
The same man has quit drinking. In order to fill the void drinking once filled, he now masturbates while riding an old Schwinn cruiser. As he is riding down the street, masturbating, the woman who had the little orange circus peanuts is walking down the street towards him wearing a large dress with no underwear, all her underwear is at the cleaners getting heavily starched. Right as the man is about to ejaculate, a truck turns in front of him and he flies off his bike. At that same moment, the women walks over an air vent and her dress flies up over her head. The man flies through the air, the woman falls down in confusion, he lands on her, his penis penetrates her vagina, he ejaculates, and nine months later I was born!"
Now I know what you're probably thinking (unless you're Erin or Mary and you've already heard it"..."Holy shit, that's pretty fucked up." But do not worry, it was not my story, I went to a free comedy show at Chico State on Halloween and a comedian named Michael O'Conner opened his segment with that story... funny, yet pretty fucking wierd... So the show consisted of four comedians, Kamar somethinorother, Michael O'Conner, Rob Cantrell, and the headliner, Carlos Alazraqui. Kamar (I think that's his first name, he calls himself by just the initial K.)was quite funny, made quite a few racial jokes about being black and such. Michael O'Conner was just nuts, and he "rocked the roof off this bitch" with his heavy metal educational songs like "How we Count to Four" and "No one will let me play with their asian baby." Following him was a horribly immature and very not funny show by Last Comic Standing contestant Rob Cantrell (season 2, go figure). Apparantly if you say "smoke weed and titty-fuck" and talk about how edgy you are for saying things like "I fuck ostriches when their heads are underground" a lot, people will think you're a good comedian, I can't see this guy going very far as a comedian. But after him came Carlos, most well known for his role as Lt. Garcia on Reno 911, but he was also the Taco Bell chihuahua, Rock from Rocko's Modern Life, Crocker on Fairly Oddparents, and other stuff. Until last night, I never thought I would ever laugh so hard I couldn't breathe (literally, gasping for breath for about a minute and a half straight). I've decided that I need to go to any comedy night at Chico state i have a chance to go to. I am so glad I went, especially since it was free.
So that was my halloween. Chico High is in the playoffs (football) for the first time in a long long time. It's about time. We'll prolly make it past one round, maybe more, i dunno. We'll just have to see I guess.
I have my senior picture tomorrow (my location shot) I hope that turns out ok. I'll update soon, Love You Erin!
-Robby