still of night
even the distance feels so near......
ancient rings wrap round and over and over in dreams and between here there maybe everywhere..dreams from a little girl writing things on apple bark throwing it into the stream lunar signs cascascading through my windows...and dreams within dreams of me and swings and conversation from years ago that i can never forget..it was all in my head..all in my head...all in my head...but it hurt so bad...it hurt me so bad not to be loved and to be so damned lonely...and only to dream ...dream of coming alive in the darkness.
now three together four and the intensity. 10 days. 10 days. tell me lore jesus christ does not exist. not here. just in my head i can hear his voice clear as day and he says nothing..my attention is all his...learning i see people with my heart more than i want to.
i should stop talking and shut this journal down and just go back to only writing by hand.
i don't even feel it's necessary anymore. no cpu except a few things. no need for internerd for fun...i've got it back! i sold it so long ago and now i have it back! i fucking earned a piece of my soul back...i just need to be careful now.
tonight i will toast to Mr. Bunnynose....and all the great things he ever did...i want him to find happiness while i am gone. i truly do. there is love. ijust cant speak it from some of the pain. one day it will be back.
party tonight. john.dustin.rebecca....your eyes beautiful as the sun.....
ancient rings wrap round and over and over in dreams and between here there maybe everywhere..dreams from a little girl writing things on apple bark throwing it into the stream lunar signs cascascading through my windows...and dreams within dreams of me and swings and conversation from years ago that i can never forget..it was all in my head..all in my head...all in my head...but it hurt so bad...it hurt me so bad not to be loved and to be so damned lonely...and only to dream ...dream of coming alive in the darkness.
now three together four and the intensity. 10 days. 10 days. tell me lore jesus christ does not exist. not here. just in my head i can hear his voice clear as day and he says nothing..my attention is all his...learning i see people with my heart more than i want to.
i should stop talking and shut this journal down and just go back to only writing by hand.
i don't even feel it's necessary anymore. no cpu except a few things. no need for internerd for fun...i've got it back! i sold it so long ago and now i have it back! i fucking earned a piece of my soul back...i just need to be careful now.
tonight i will toast to Mr. Bunnynose....and all the great things he ever did...i want him to find happiness while i am gone. i truly do. there is love. ijust cant speak it from some of the pain. one day it will be back.
party tonight. john.dustin.rebecca....your eyes beautiful as the sun.....