I'm Only This Cheesy for You
AN: I wrote this a year ago really late at night so you have been warned. I was pretty lame back then, and I exaggerated all of their personalities in an attempt at humor. Hope you enjoy this anyways.
Rating: G
Pairing: OT5
Summary: One morning, Yunho decides that he's had enough of this tired and gloomy atmosphere. He decides to tell his members a knock-knock joke.
Genre: Crackfic, fluff
edit: the formatting is kind of screwed up, and i'm still trying to figure out how to fix it. OTL
They began their day the same way as every other day- Yunho patiently woke all the members up, dodging flying projectiles aimed at his head (Changmin), groaning in pain after a well-aimed kick to his stomach area (Junsu), suffering through threats of never getting fed again (Jaejoong), and only wincing slightly at some particularly obscene swear words (Yoochun).
The members shuffled grumpily into the kitchen as they did every morning, always in the same order.
Junsu would be first, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He would collapse into his chair at the kitchen table, and wait for Jaejoong to wake up and feed him. Sometimes he would hum the choruses of popular American pop songs.
Jaejoong would come next, his bed-head looking every bit as attractive as his hair did after hours of styling. He would sigh and start cooking breakfast, muttering under his breath about why they can’t just all eat cereal or something instead.
By this time, the coffee Yunho had put on would be ready, and he would present it as a peace offering to Changmin, who looked almost murderous with his darkened eyes and grumpy scowl.
Upon receiving said coffee, Changmin would nod in thanks and say something like “good morning” before going off to stalk Jaejoong and his food.
Yoochun only drags himself in after everyone else is seated and already has a plate of warm breakfast in front of them. He would chug down all the remaining coffee in the pot, and take a few bites of breakfast before promptly falling asleep again and almost faceplanting into the food. Once revived, he would make a resolution to never compose that late into the night again. Only of course nothing ever changes, and he will continue to make that exact same resolution the next morning, and the next, and the next.
On this particular morning, Yunho looks around at his bandmates- no, his brothers, and decides that he, as the leader, must do something to cheer everyone up.
And that something is telling them a joke.
The members blink in surprise at Yunho’s announcement- “Hey guys! I have a joke for you!”
Yunho is grinning at them, clearly with the belief that a joke is going to revive them and make them less of zombies. Maybe even bring about world peace or something equally sappy and sentimental.
First off, it should be illegal for anyone to be so happy and cheerful and generally alive at such an ungodly hour. And second, Yunho’s exuberance is beginning to blind them. There’s no need to smile so brightly this early in the morning, Changmin thinks miserably.
But no one wants to be the heartless soul to burst their leader’s bubble, so they all nod in compliance. Okay, Yunho. Whatever floats your boat.
“You guys will love this one,” Yunho beams at them.
“Try me.” Changmin tells him in a monotone voice.
“Okay, here we go!” Yunho chirps. “Knock-knock!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jaejoong deadpans. “What are you, a first-grader?”
“Oh, come on. You haven’t even heard the rest of it yet!”
“Fine. We’ll play along with your little joke,” Changmin says with a long-suffering sigh.
“Who’s there?” asks Junsu, his curiosity piqued.
“Yunho!” Yunho exclaims gleefully.
Jaejoong puts his head on the table in defeat.
“Hyung.” Changmin gapes at Yunho for a while before deciding that yes, Yunho is completely serious. And also that, yes, Yunho has probably finally lost it.
“Okay. Yunho. Here, allow me to explain,” Jaejoong begins patiently, lifting his head up from the table and looking at his leader with pity. “It doesn’t work like that. See, for knock-knock jokes, you’re not supposed to actually say your name. It’s supposed to be funny, because-“
“Jaejoong. I know.” Yunho almost growls. “Just let me finish the damn joke.”
“… Yunho, who?” Junsu pipes up before anyone else has a chance to say anything. He would actually like to hear the rest of this joke, thank-you-very-much.
“YES! ORCHIDEOUS!”
The members stare at their leader before bursting out into laughter.
Jaejoong is rolling around on the floor, Changmin is clapping, leaning back in his chair, and Junsu is laughing his high-pitched dolphin laugh.
Changmin is the first to regain his composure, and asks Yunho in between his gasps for air, “Hyung, you do realize that you said it wrong, right?”
“What do you mean, Changmin-ah? Wasn’t it a good one? Didn’t you like it?” Yunho asks in confusion.
“Orchideous is the spell for making a bouquet of flowers appear- the killing spell is avada kedavra,” Junsu points out in his know-it-all voice.
Yunho frowns at them. “But-“
“You-know-who would never give flowers to people,” Junsu continues explaining. “He’s the bad guy.”
“Guys!” Yunho whines in frustration. “Do you all think I’m stupid or something? I know. I know how a knock-knock joke is, and who Voldemort is-“
Junsu gasps- Yunho just said You-know-who’s name. Out loud. They were surely all going to die now.
“-I know what the killing spell is, and I know that orchideous is for conjuring up a bouquet of flowers. I know.”
Changmin can’t help it. “Yes, of course you know. You’re Yunho,” he grins.
Jaejoong snickers a little. Junsu goes over to Changmin for a high-five. Yunho is starting to pout.
“I just- I just wanted to cheer you guys up with a joke,” Yunho says sadly. “And I couldn’t bring myself to say the killing curse to you guys. I mean, what if I was actually a wizard? Then I would have killed one of you, and I would never be able to forgive myself.”
Changmin bites back a snarky comment- You need a wand to cast spells, stupid
Jaejoong resists the urge to tackle Yunho in a hug. He’s a man, dammit. And men do not get emotional over a dork being worried about killing them with a fictional spell.
Or maybe they do, he admits as he looks into Yunho's eyes and swears he sees the other man blinking back tears. Tears.
Tears of legitimate concern that he could lose one of his bandmates to a magical spell.
"But I’m sorry if you didn’t like it. You guys can resume your usual morning activities now- please continue with all the grumbling and chugging of coffee. I’ll just go watch some more re-runs of Full House.” Yunho begins to shuffle off to the couch, his shoulders slumped in dejection.
Clearly, he was definitely the worst leader ever if even his members wouldn’t let him finish a joke in peace.
But he is stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. Yunho turns around to see Changmin smiling at him with those mismatched eyes, and he knows then that everything will be okay.
Jaejoong declares this to be a Group Hug Moment, and the four of them- Yunho, Jaejoong, Changmin, and Junsu- hug it out.
Then they notice that Yoochun is missing.
And come to think of it, where was he the whole time Yunho was telling his joke?
Yunho removes himself from the group hug to look for their missing member. The rest of them pause awkwardly mid-hug.
A few minutes later, Yunho gives a successful shout as he finally locates Yoochun asleep under the table. A semi-conscious Yoochun is pushed into the middle of the group hug and practically smothered.
When they finally pull apart, everyone is smiling and ready for another day.
Well, except for Yoochun. He blinks sleepily and rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Did I miss anything?” he asks blearily.
Changmin grins and shoves him into Yunho, the latter's face lighting up at another opportunity to make someone's day with a joke.
Jaejoong and Junsu can only watch helplessly- and with great amusement- as Yoochun is dragged off by their enthusiastic leadershi, who appears to be saying something about an animal walking into a bar.
And so begins another day for DBSK.
comments are appreciated. ♥
EDIT: link to alternate (yunjae) ending!
Rating: G
Pairing: OT5
Summary: One morning, Yunho decides that he's had enough of this tired and gloomy atmosphere. He decides to tell his members a knock-knock joke.
Genre: Crackfic, fluff
edit: the formatting is kind of screwed up, and i'm still trying to figure out how to fix it. OTL
They began their day the same way as every other day- Yunho patiently woke all the members up, dodging flying projectiles aimed at his head (Changmin), groaning in pain after a well-aimed kick to his stomach area (Junsu), suffering through threats of never getting fed again (Jaejoong), and only wincing slightly at some particularly obscene swear words (Yoochun).
The members shuffled grumpily into the kitchen as they did every morning, always in the same order.
Junsu would be first, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He would collapse into his chair at the kitchen table, and wait for Jaejoong to wake up and feed him. Sometimes he would hum the choruses of popular American pop songs.
Jaejoong would come next, his bed-head looking every bit as attractive as his hair did after hours of styling. He would sigh and start cooking breakfast, muttering under his breath about why they can’t just all eat cereal or something instead.
By this time, the coffee Yunho had put on would be ready, and he would present it as a peace offering to Changmin, who looked almost murderous with his darkened eyes and grumpy scowl.
Upon receiving said coffee, Changmin would nod in thanks and say something like “good morning” before going off to stalk Jaejoong and his food.
Yoochun only drags himself in after everyone else is seated and already has a plate of warm breakfast in front of them. He would chug down all the remaining coffee in the pot, and take a few bites of breakfast before promptly falling asleep again and almost faceplanting into the food. Once revived, he would make a resolution to never compose that late into the night again. Only of course nothing ever changes, and he will continue to make that exact same resolution the next morning, and the next, and the next.
On this particular morning, Yunho looks around at his bandmates- no, his brothers, and decides that he, as the leader, must do something to cheer everyone up.
And that something is telling them a joke.
The members blink in surprise at Yunho’s announcement- “Hey guys! I have a joke for you!”
Yunho is grinning at them, clearly with the belief that a joke is going to revive them and make them less of zombies. Maybe even bring about world peace or something equally sappy and sentimental.
First off, it should be illegal for anyone to be so happy and cheerful and generally alive at such an ungodly hour. And second, Yunho’s exuberance is beginning to blind them. There’s no need to smile so brightly this early in the morning, Changmin thinks miserably.
But no one wants to be the heartless soul to burst their leader’s bubble, so they all nod in compliance. Okay, Yunho. Whatever floats your boat.
“You guys will love this one,” Yunho beams at them.
“Try me.” Changmin tells him in a monotone voice.
“Okay, here we go!” Yunho chirps. “Knock-knock!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jaejoong deadpans. “What are you, a first-grader?”
“Oh, come on. You haven’t even heard the rest of it yet!”
“Fine. We’ll play along with your little joke,” Changmin says with a long-suffering sigh.
“Who’s there?” asks Junsu, his curiosity piqued.
“Yunho!” Yunho exclaims gleefully.
Jaejoong puts his head on the table in defeat.
“Hyung.” Changmin gapes at Yunho for a while before deciding that yes, Yunho is completely serious. And also that, yes, Yunho has probably finally lost it.
“Okay. Yunho. Here, allow me to explain,” Jaejoong begins patiently, lifting his head up from the table and looking at his leader with pity. “It doesn’t work like that. See, for knock-knock jokes, you’re not supposed to actually say your name. It’s supposed to be funny, because-“
“Jaejoong. I know.” Yunho almost growls. “Just let me finish the damn joke.”
“… Yunho, who?” Junsu pipes up before anyone else has a chance to say anything. He would actually like to hear the rest of this joke, thank-you-very-much.
“YES! ORCHIDEOUS!”
The members stare at their leader before bursting out into laughter.
Jaejoong is rolling around on the floor, Changmin is clapping, leaning back in his chair, and Junsu is laughing his high-pitched dolphin laugh.
Changmin is the first to regain his composure, and asks Yunho in between his gasps for air, “Hyung, you do realize that you said it wrong, right?”
“What do you mean, Changmin-ah? Wasn’t it a good one? Didn’t you like it?” Yunho asks in confusion.
“Orchideous is the spell for making a bouquet of flowers appear- the killing spell is avada kedavra,” Junsu points out in his know-it-all voice.
Yunho frowns at them. “But-“
“You-know-who would never give flowers to people,” Junsu continues explaining. “He’s the bad guy.”
“Guys!” Yunho whines in frustration. “Do you all think I’m stupid or something? I know. I know how a knock-knock joke is, and who Voldemort is-“
Junsu gasps- Yunho just said You-know-who’s name. Out loud. They were surely all going to die now.
“-I know what the killing spell is, and I know that orchideous is for conjuring up a bouquet of flowers. I know.”
Changmin can’t help it. “Yes, of course you know. You’re Yunho,” he grins.
Jaejoong snickers a little. Junsu goes over to Changmin for a high-five. Yunho is starting to pout.
“I just- I just wanted to cheer you guys up with a joke,” Yunho says sadly. “And I couldn’t bring myself to say the killing curse to you guys. I mean, what if I was actually a wizard? Then I would have killed one of you, and I would never be able to forgive myself.”
Changmin bites back a snarky comment- You need a wand to cast spells, stupid
Jaejoong resists the urge to tackle Yunho in a hug. He’s a man, dammit. And men do not get emotional over a dork being worried about killing them with a fictional spell.
Or maybe they do, he admits as he looks into Yunho's eyes and swears he sees the other man blinking back tears. Tears.
Tears of legitimate concern that he could lose one of his bandmates to a magical spell.
"But I’m sorry if you didn’t like it. You guys can resume your usual morning activities now- please continue with all the grumbling and chugging of coffee. I’ll just go watch some more re-runs of Full House.” Yunho begins to shuffle off to the couch, his shoulders slumped in dejection.
Clearly, he was definitely the worst leader ever if even his members wouldn’t let him finish a joke in peace.
But he is stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. Yunho turns around to see Changmin smiling at him with those mismatched eyes, and he knows then that everything will be okay.
Jaejoong declares this to be a Group Hug Moment, and the four of them- Yunho, Jaejoong, Changmin, and Junsu- hug it out.
Then they notice that Yoochun is missing.
And come to think of it, where was he the whole time Yunho was telling his joke?
Yunho removes himself from the group hug to look for their missing member. The rest of them pause awkwardly mid-hug.
A few minutes later, Yunho gives a successful shout as he finally locates Yoochun asleep under the table. A semi-conscious Yoochun is pushed into the middle of the group hug and practically smothered.
When they finally pull apart, everyone is smiling and ready for another day.
Well, except for Yoochun. He blinks sleepily and rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Did I miss anything?” he asks blearily.
Changmin grins and shoves him into Yunho, the latter's face lighting up at another opportunity to make someone's day with a joke.
Jaejoong and Junsu can only watch helplessly- and with great amusement- as Yoochun is dragged off by their enthusiastic leadershi, who appears to be saying something about an animal walking into a bar.
And so begins another day for DBSK.
comments are appreciated. ♥
EDIT: link to alternate (yunjae) ending!