every moment life is slipping away

[subtleresidue]

venting my frustrations to the internet
why does it have to be rainingggg today
why do I refuse to showerrrr
why, always, with these incessantly untrue fake names?

just get out. stop watching tv, stop moping about how you were dumped
stop waiting up for me
it makes me feel badly when I come home at three and you're half-asleep on your bed
shirtless
your skin aglow in the pale light of the television

and you look up so jerkily
uncertainly
always, like you're looking for something.

I don't want you to look for me. don't want you to watch me, to see me, to talk to me. don't want you to stare or laugh uncomfortably or try to engage me

I just want to go home and sit in silence and be sad but I can't when I have to put on a facade for you.