yes I'm blue (but from holding my breath)
"My eyes are somewhere between the colors of blue and green, but if you look closely you can see a revolution in them. My heart feels like rain, and I worry and over-analyze far too much. I both read and write compulsively, and I walk often, but not compulsively.
To me, words are something beautiful, and I pick favorites for a day or a week or a month. I have a hard time keeping a favorite anything for too long, as I change my mind frequently. However, I associate colors with my words, so for a day or a week or a month I'll wear only black and white, or I'll paint my fingernails red, or I'll only wear jewelry if it has some yellow in it somewhere.
I am shy and somewhat awkward. My laugh is endearing and my hair is brown.
I usually stay up far too late, surrounding myself with straight lines and continuous patterns to create a web of solace around myself.
Mundanity is both my biggest fear and my greatest comfort."
thus far fourteen responses, all of them real people. and it's been up since about 12:00 pm.
am I good or what? too bad it doesn't suffice when someone says something like:
"You really sound wonderful and special"
or
"Hi.
What you wrote was pretty."
or
"all I can say at this point is....wow.
and I hope thats enough to get you to write back."
or
"Your ad is brilliant, from the heading to the last line. I'm a writer
too, and I used to teach writing in college. I would teach your ad."
oh, these things are so nice.
but it just
I've always known that I can put words in an order that makes them sound beautiful
intriguing
etc.
my two problems with this are:
why am I only really great at expressing myself with words when I'm literally expressing MYSELF with words? as in, why is it the only thing I'm able to explain clearly is myself?
this makes me feel very full of myself because it means I've thought about it a lot. I'm not so good at expressing
other ideas and this is very distressing. I want to be able to express wonderful thoughts and ideas that make
people think and laugh, etc.
how is it that I can attract so many people with my words, but with my face, and my personality, I cannot? why am I so much more intriguing, so much more special, when people don't really know me? am I that awful? that unattractive?
because my words come from me. from my head. in theory, if someone likes my words, they would like me. but
no of course that isn't true. because the words are not mine.
THE WORDS DO NOT BELONG TO ME!!!
I mean, they sort of do. they're MY words. I put them in that order. but I didn't create them.
I choose them. they were all just sitting there, sort of milling around being bored,
and I placed them in that order.
the words do not belong to me,
I just pushed them, placed them, squeezed them into a puzzle.
my voice is silent now because I am distressed. only my fingers will make sounds.
To me, words are something beautiful, and I pick favorites for a day or a week or a month. I have a hard time keeping a favorite anything for too long, as I change my mind frequently. However, I associate colors with my words, so for a day or a week or a month I'll wear only black and white, or I'll paint my fingernails red, or I'll only wear jewelry if it has some yellow in it somewhere.
I am shy and somewhat awkward. My laugh is endearing and my hair is brown.
I usually stay up far too late, surrounding myself with straight lines and continuous patterns to create a web of solace around myself.
Mundanity is both my biggest fear and my greatest comfort."
thus far fourteen responses, all of them real people. and it's been up since about 12:00 pm.
am I good or what? too bad it doesn't suffice when someone says something like:
"You really sound wonderful and special"
or
"Hi.
What you wrote was pretty."
or
"all I can say at this point is....wow.
and I hope thats enough to get you to write back."
or
"Your ad is brilliant, from the heading to the last line. I'm a writer
too, and I used to teach writing in college. I would teach your ad."
oh, these things are so nice.
but it just
I've always known that I can put words in an order that makes them sound beautiful
intriguing
etc.
my two problems with this are:
why am I only really great at expressing myself with words when I'm literally expressing MYSELF with words? as in, why is it the only thing I'm able to explain clearly is myself?
this makes me feel very full of myself because it means I've thought about it a lot. I'm not so good at expressing
other ideas and this is very distressing. I want to be able to express wonderful thoughts and ideas that make
people think and laugh, etc.
how is it that I can attract so many people with my words, but with my face, and my personality, I cannot? why am I so much more intriguing, so much more special, when people don't really know me? am I that awful? that unattractive?
because my words come from me. from my head. in theory, if someone likes my words, they would like me. but
no of course that isn't true. because the words are not mine.
THE WORDS DO NOT BELONG TO ME!!!
I mean, they sort of do. they're MY words. I put them in that order. but I didn't create them.
I choose them. they were all just sitting there, sort of milling around being bored,
and I placed them in that order.
the words do not belong to me,
I just pushed them, placed them, squeezed them into a puzzle.
my voice is silent now because I am distressed. only my fingers will make sounds.